COSSIE 1

Right guys i think iv got depression, split from the wife a couple of weeks ago (her leaving me!!)and its looking permanent since then ive been off work and cant get her out of my head , it feels like she's died and im grieving for her but i havent a clue how to stop it?? any pointers, my mate gary (G2 FSR) said try thinking about all the shit she giving me..........but i cant hink long enough to make myslf hate her, all i can think of is the good things we've done over the last 6yrs and how much i still love her ...............ITS DRIVING ME NUTS ...HELP..

vroooom ptssssh

Mate, jus split with my bird not long ago. . fuck all you can do really apart from give yourself time. .

you'll feel like shit for the next few weeks, cant deny that, but it gets easier

COSSIE 1

yeah see what u mean mate , worse thing for me is she was the girl i wanted to spend the rest of my life with and im gona find this one really hard to get over...if it was just a girlfriend then yes its hard but u say to urself "oh well she's not the one".........not in my case

smitsturbo

i just finished with my girlfreind about 3 months ago? what i done was sit & suffer the same as you for a while but after a while i started gettin pissed all the time then my mate asked if i want to go stay with him in thialand & that soon sorted it out cos its probably the best place in the world to get over someone, you can get chicks over there for 30 quid for the whole night to do whatever you lke plus cheep everything else...its so good im thinking about moving accross there, (i work off shore so i'll still cum back every two weeks for work.. but the moral of it is you need sumthing to take your mind off of it like a holiday, if you havent got the cash get a loan & you'll soon feel allot better mate

R5FORD

iTrader: (1)

sorry 2 hear this mate

smitsturbo

just to rub things in its allot worse when you find out she's with someone else & especialy someone you know cos then you start getting into trouble with the law as i did ... its like having a dog since it was a puppy then training it for years then having to give it away to somebody else to get the good of...sorry thats how i felt anyway

B16

iTrader: (4)

It will get easier, split from wife nearly three years ago ( she left for someone lot younger) was hard at first, but you just have to learn to get on with your life. Chin up?
.

COSSIE 1

dont think shes seein anyone???, shes even taking the fooking dog aswell ...........am just gona try an take a few months by myslf and try and get my life back on track

COSSIE 1

need to try and find some energy and enthusiasam to do something to the cossie

Katie

Best thing to do. Try and get back into a routine with work etc as it keeps you busy more than anything

Hope you feel better soon

B16

iTrader: (4)

Last thing you wanna do is spend time on your own, my friends were all a great help to me. Dont think I would be where I am today without them. If you have good friends they'll get you through this.

vroooom ptssssh

keep busy, get out and about. . . sitting in doating on her will only drive you mad

COSSIE 1

only problem for me is my family and most of my mates live in bournemouth area, i live in swindon and only have 1 really good mate gary (G2 FSR)there and i work 107 miles from swindon in enfield so its all a bit complicated........................but ill get there

SS1

iTrader: (3)

Keith B

My advise is to have a fresh look at your life and get out there and do everything you want to do. Give everything your best shot and something good will come from it all whether you're on your own or with someone.
I have a friend who's Mrs recently left him, he's hit the bottle big time and is going nowhere. Don't take the easy route of getting bevvied up to take the pain away. Face the future and the good times will surely be back

COSSIE 1

THATS ME MATE..the 1st bit thanks

cossie4i+

iTrader: (15)

I found that i started doing all the little jobs i should of done around the house just to take my mind off her.

You have to look at why she left, was it you spending to much time at work ? never taking her out ?

My Mrs and i parted for about 8 weeks, after about 4 weeks we started to go on dates etc and we found we we had been missing.

I wish you all the best mate

Women are funny things

Steve.

Keith B

At least you had a woman - I can't even remember what they look like!

S3an

i split with my wife 3 years ago after a 13 year stint with her. im now divorced, although we had been together since we were teenagers we just drifted apart and went our seperate ways and we were both happy to do this. we also have 4 year old twins and people said you cant stop together for the sake of the children, it will just be the same 5/10 years down the line, they were right. i suppose it was just like a habit as time went by but now we seem to be happy and get on great. hope things work out mate.

xr2i-carl

smitsturbo: you had to train ya missus up like a puppy??


PAULDPALMER, i remember reading your original post, and how gutted you was/still are and that you have looked after for many years!!!

i feel bad for you mate, you need to try and pick yourself up, go back to work with a new frame of mind and maybe aim for promotion! Gives you something to think about and take your mind off her, imagine her face when she sees you all happy and have got promotion etc

you never know it may all turn around sometime soon, hopefully for you matey it does.


does she understand how you are feeling?

carl

G2 FSR

Mate......the situation will get easier for ya. Everyone handles it differently. I was there not so long ago. As peeps say,...so long you have good friends then you will get there You no my feelings on the subject and ill say again, she treated you like shit and took the piss out of ya She'll soon realise what you did for her and hopefully realise before it goes to far, but just dont count on it
Try and keep yourself occupied and busy, get back into the old routine and hopefully itll get better for ya. You no where i am mate if ya need out

CossieRich

iTrader: (1)

Sorry to hear this. Is a dark time when something like this happens. How you deal with it depends on what sort of person you are. I notice you said she took the dog and you dont have many good mates due to being miles away from home. May i suggest getting another dog. They take time to train and it means you have to spend time walking it, playing with it and ultimately means your mind will be on something else other than her

Psycho Warren

iTrader: (5)

If you still can't cope with working you might want to see your GP if the depression doesnt lift soon.

They might give you a course of antidepressants wich will help you feel a little better while you sort the shit out in your head, just dont rely on them!! as they aint a magic pill.

Worst case you may need some councelling.

Physio

Gutted for you mate, i know exactly what your going through - it aint good.

tregmatt

iTrader: (3)

i think you need a good mate to talk to and some company try to get out and about i know its hard but the moor you do it the better it will be for
you

Harris.

Sorry to hear this m8, go get yourself a new car/project !! That will keep you busy

COSSIE 1

Its just so hard i met her 6 years ago and within 3 months she was diagnosed with crohns disease so she was in and out of work up til last year, i had to work in london as when she fell ill i was left with all the bills to pay and where i work there is always lots of overtime and the job is very secure etc, shes probably had 7 jobs in the last 5 years and she was really ill last year when she had 2 very large abcesses in her stomach she was in hospital for weeks with drains coming out then she was discharged, she went for a scan 2 weeks later and was given the all clear 3 days later her brother came down from scotland where shes from and took her up for a break as she still wasnt feeling to good and near her parents house in scotland ANOTHER abcess burst inside her ........she was rushed to hospital and spent the next 6 months up there .........it has been hell for both of us her dealing with the illness and me having all the worry and working away to pay the bills etc...................the thing is in august ths yr the hospital had a new drug for her to try ad shes been on that ever since going up to scotland every 4 weeks to have the treatment and shes finally feeling loads better, and i feel she doesnt need me anymore as shes moving out and renting her own place and working 2 jobs to pay for it all
the other problem is i found a lump in my mans parts a few weeks ago and i really wanted to tell her but finding the right time wasnt easy as to much stress can make her ill, and ive been a little distant oviously not wanting to go out sociallising much as ive been feeling really worried and concerned..........i was going to tell her the the weekend i was off but she ended it on the friday.......so i had all the worry about her and also the worry i had cancer etc.......i finally went to the doctors last week and the've comfirmed ive got a cyst like lump and need scans for further info etc.......i told the wife i was really upset and she said "it doesnt change things ill be here for u etc..but as a friend ".........
i just feel really cheated that he last 6 years ive done everything for her ive given her love and attention and we've been through hell and back.....ive never asked for anything from her and when i really need her to get me through what im going through shes not there, .....i just feel so lost at the moment ....sorry for going on

dojj

iTrader: (3)

it's ok mate, i rememebr the original post too and she's turned out to be a bit of a fucker really

2 things you need to do asap are stop drinking (if you haven't already, because that's just going to fuck you up even more) and inform your work (even though that takes a bit more bollcoks if you don't know what the reaction is going ot be)

once you've done these 2 things you can figure out what's left to be doing, like getting on with the rest of your life

alternativly, you can imagine she was a car that you had built up over the past 6 years, you've gone down the road and totaled it and now you are thanking your lucky tassles that you are still alive even after the car tried to kill you
what would you do them?
you'd start another project see

COSSIE 1

cheers dojj.........im not drinking etc ive only had 2 smirrnoff ices in 16 days .............as for the car id rebuild it ........i see what ur saying its just difficult etc..........cheers all

dojj

iTrader: (3)

you just need to get a lift on your spirits mate

all this doom and gloom mongering makes you sound like one of those people that walk around with boards claiming "the end of the world is nigh, repent to god!!!" etc etc (i know it's hard, i'm just trying to make light of the situation you are in )

it's a big chunk missing from your life that you may or may not get back, but the sooner you start working towards an end to your douldrums the better it will be, not just for you, but all around you

in a short while we'll be reading a post headed "yay me!!! i've done something really great!!!" and you'll go on about something thats turned your world back the right way up again, be it a girl, a car, a job, a pet ( ) anything really

and besides, when you are happy it makes you happier because it'swhat it does, but when you are sad you stay sad
watchlaurel and hardy films, some disney flicks (on second thoughts, they are all really fucked up if you watch them as adults) soemthing to take your mind off of what you are thinking and get some happyness into yourself

it might be an idea (seeing as you are in enfild) to get a few peeps together and go and watch borat at the cinema or somethng not only will you be out with mates, you'll also be doing something you'll enjoy (just because you might not want to go to the cindema, we'll make sure you enjoy yourself even if it means watching borat )

so there you go, that is your thing to do for the enxt week, arrange a cinema trip to see a film, next saturday

saphlover

i split with my ex about 3 months ago (was with her off and on for 5 years nearly) i didnt take it badly at first because all my mates hated her and she hated them (it was very difficult trying to plan nights out), plus when i split with her the next day i passed my test and got my wheels back on the road witch was what i was waiting for for over 2 years.

Like everyone keeps saying mate just keep your chin up and whatever you do dont get back with her, if she has dropped you like a hot spud after everything you have done for her then its not worth it. My ex was one of those girls that wants new things all the time, she bought a brand new car 6 months later she wanted to part ex it for a newer one coz she didnt like it anymore, she asked me to have a kid with her when i said no she left me for a few weeks then came crawling back because she apparently missed me so much., then we got a dog after about 2 weeks she wanted rid because she didnt like it anymore.

what im trying to say here is if your ex has dropped you once she will do it again, its best it has happend now and not in 10 - 20 years time. look at it this way you are still young enough to go out and get yourself someone new and time is the greatest healer.

COSSIE 1

yeah know what ur saying mate she wants me to jack my job in and get a closer to home job which i can understand but the thing is when she falls ill shes losses her job eventually and we'd be fucked as i wouldnt earn the money working local and the hours would be different ie she wants me home every night!!!!, so she falls ill she losses her job or is on ssp for ages and we'd lose everything..thing is everybody can see this apart from her,ive got to lok at the whole picture for our future.......plus i wouldnt be happy sat at home every night having no money.........there would be arguements money related and we'd probably end up splitting up anyway .......she also wanted me to get rid of my cossie but i aint going there

dojj

iTrader: (3)

fair play if she was doing a proper top end job and was going to offer you a nice new motor etc, but thats going a bit far ain't it?

COSSIE 1

yeah mate she's a right spoilt bitch and very selfish and self centered...........she said she wasnt happy in august this yr so i said to her when im not working im always with u but she didnt see it the same way she said i was on the computer to long so i stopped that she said i went to bed to late so i went to bed loads earlier(i work nights so id go to bed sayat 3am and sleep through to say 12pm) so iwas in bed by 11pm-12pm most nights....and i spent to much time with the cossie (which was bollocks, id do bits when she was working sat and that was it!!).....so i handed the car back to my mate gary across the road and stood to lose Ł3.6k ..also the job was annoying her so i explained the reasons why i couldntjack my job in as she was so ill and we needed the money and security etc and agreed to cut back my overtime so id see her more.......she then felt bad and told me to get the car back which i did but i havent spent 1 minute with the car unless she was at work....and i asked her if everything was ok between us about late sept and she was happy id made so much effort .............then 3 weeks later out of the blue....its over

dojj

iTrader: (3)

as i said before mate, women, you can't live with them, you can't dismember them and bury them in the garden without the police poking their noses in

but what would we do without them being stupid at driving and spending ages getting ready to go out and spending all your hard earned on shoes and handbags?

we'd have nothing to moan about then would we

dojj

iTrader: (3)

as i said before mate, women, you can't live with them, you can't dismember them and bury them in the garden without the police poking their noses in

but what would we do without them being stupid at driving and spending ages getting ready to go out and spending all your hard earned on shoes and handbags?

we'd have nothing to moan about then would we

dojj

iTrader: (3)

as i said before mate, women, you can't live with them, you can't dismember them and bury them in the garden without the police poking their noses in

but what would we do without them being stupid at driving and spending ages getting ready to go out and spending all your hard earned on shoes and handbags?

we'd have nothing to moan about then would we

dojj

iTrader: (3)

and it was so important a message that its popped up 3 times, just in case you missed it

COSSIE 1

thanks for all the advice guys/gals

EIL132

2 weeks is natural, I still remember a girl from 6 years ago from time to time. Grief takes time to heal and come to terms with and move on