kay2

I wish i could be one for just one day just so i can understand them!!

Me and the missus have been seein each other for 15months and we broke up the other day, mainly its my fault, she thinks ive been cheating on her, which i havnt but i have given her good reason to think i have
Thing is though weve had up till now a fantastic year, a brilliant holiday, its just gone down hill the past few weeks...
shes told me she still loves me we cant speak on the phone coz we both end up crying just hearing each other speak, we cant text each other coz it ends in arguments (my texts always sound nasty even if theyre not) I truely love her but i know she wont see me. I dont wont to hastle her either, i only want her to be with me if she wants too.

I really dont know what to do, the thought of her being with someone else makes me sick, and i cant even imagine seeing someone else myself

What you guys reckon coz my head is fecked

adamS2RST

Get a dog and go out on the pull

Jod'sRS2K

have u told her all the above???!!!!

kay2

thats the thing though mate, i dont want to, i like going out when ive got agirlfriend, coz there is no need to pull, just go out and get pissed with the lads..
Its mainly aswell that we have gone from being so happy together to this in such a short space of time

And she seems perfectly happy to just walk away, I know ive been a pain in the arse for her, but you dont get anywhere in life if you just bail all the time, well thats how i feel

Fozy

time is the healer. Don't lose contact though. Best bet would be to give it a week, organise a neutral place to meet (i.e. a resturant you've never been to), so no memorys of yester year and start a fresh.

Make sure you listen to what she has to say and discuss in depth how you're feeling to each other, your likes and dislikes. Give each other a little bit of space to think afterwards. I know what you mean about the sick feeling, it certainly doesn't help the thinking. If you love each other then the space will only make things harder to stay apart and will pull you back together. Just don't rush it and don't pressure her into seeing you. do it in time it takes for her to want to do it.

Best of luck mate and hope it all works out 4 ya.

Nikki

you crack me up Ad

Tell her the truth huni,,,both be honest,,,,thats all you can do babes

x x x

kay2

Relentlessly. But i dont want to talk her into getting back with me, i want her to want to come back.... dunno if that makes sense

jooster

mate get the feckin dog and do as the man says the single life is great believe me .

i have had a recent bust up with my mrs and i would have her back tomorrow but dont sit winging im just getting on with life trust me it works dude

good hunting to be had buy all rison:

kay2

im gonna get my life sorted, i dont wanna go out shaggin though it would just hurt me more. Just gonna carry on at the gym get fitter and sort out the motor, its been very neglected of past, inside is mouldy and she doesnt run.... bit shit really when i spent 6k on it 20months ago and that was why the last missus dumped me

MADMATT

yep tell her the above, dont just let her go cos at some point she will get over it as will you, so you either need to go round there bite the bullet and make things work cos it sounds like you do really care about each other assure her that you would never cheap on her etc and get it back together or walk away thinking that distance is a good thing and she'll come back to you which she might not as she thinks you've been cheating.

hth

get round there and start talking

good luck mate i hope it all works out for ya



matt

Jod'sRS2K

i get ya, but she will only come bac if she wants, but dont do the whole, im here if u want me thing. leaves u open to a kick in the teeth.
chill for a bit, like Fozy sed, meet up in a few weeks or sumfink and go from there, try just keepin it casual. givin time u will both realise wat ya both want.

Anonymous

The only true piece of advice...........

If you love someone...let them go....if its truely love they will come back.


chin up hun.





Aint heartache just about the worse pain ever

kay2

Im still really confused deb... You say you still love me but you are now blocking me out, you can surely tell how much i love you.. The house seams empty already even with my granparents there. I miss you like crazy and cant begin to put into words what im feeling, i just cant understand how we have ended up in this mess, i know why we have i just cant understand how!!
I know people are probably telling you that you should be on your own, do you think they would be if they had the oppurtunity of being as happy as we could if we both worked at our relationship.......... I mean you wouldnt see george or maize in the pub half as much if they had partners, if they settled down with someone tomorrow do you think they would listen if you told them to be single

Im not begging for you back debs im just trying to explain how i feel, i hurts too much to talk to you, and i cant text.. Everyone makes mistakes deb and what pulls you through is working on them and not allowing them to happen again, something special can only be built by hard work and commitment, i know i havent shown you much of either recently, but ive been scared of being hurt....

I dont know when or even if you will read this..

But just so you know im sorry, and i love you......




I dont understand you though debbie, you told me twice yesterday you still love me, it is perfectly obvious how i feel for you. How many times do I have to tell you that i know i fucked up?
I cant explain why deb, i always thought you would leave me, it was just you seamed so pissed with me all the time.. You never deserved to be hurt like i hurt you the other day and i know the fact that nothing physical happened doesnt change how you feel.
Its true though you dont know what you have got until it has gone, and now your gone!! I know it sounds like bullshit but the reason i used to say all the stuff about not wanting kids etc was because i dont think ill ever have them (coz i do stupid things all the time) and the marriage thing, its not that i dont want to get married, i dont ever want to get divorced. Obviously these things are still a long way off in my life and im not saying them to try and win you back. Im trying to win you back because IM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU but im such a dickhead ive fucked things up for us again. I meant what i said in the car that night in Glan Conwy, ill try, but you would have to aswell.

We have had a lot of amazing times debbie, definately more good than bad, you have made me so happy and have been such a devoted girlfriend, i cant believe that you can just walk away from that, not if you have been honest with me, it just doesnt make sense. You said you still love me, i know i love you and right now i feel lost, it kills me to think that we are over for good, i couldnt sleep last night i just kept watching my phone to see if you would text, just thinking of you now makes my eyes fill up and my stomach turn to knots....... If you love me how do you not feel this???

those are the pms ive sent her on the board yesterday, as when im in college its the only way to contact her, its easier to write it to, you can get it all out in the right order...

adamS2RST

LOL - I am sorry mate, I know this is a serious matter Don't get me wrong I am in a relationship and have been for a good 4 n 1/2 yrs now We have our ups and downs... all couple's do...but as above, tell her how you feel mate, that's all you can do... all the best

kay2

Fucking kills

lisa10

Hey

Maybe think of what gave her the idea that you were cheating??Is that the reason why this has gone a bit off course.?...I agree with Fozy..suggest a meet somewhere neutral..or better still Can you email her? tell her how you feel, emails are a great way to express or you could write a letter to her..Texts are a bigg no no..u can never see the exact way that you are speaking via text..

The only way you will know if she wants you back is by asking, but I can see why you are reluctant, it can be a case of whose gonna chase who to come back..The fact that you both get upset when you speak is a good sign that this has been a good relationship and sounds like its a waste to let it go. You dont get nowhere sitting and wondering and lifes too short to do that.

Honesty is probably the best thing for most women ,then we know where we stand when we know how our man feels..Whatever you do or say is a gamble,but if its meant to be then you will know one way or another..You can still go out seperately when you are in a relationship,you have to keep your own interests,but it all comes down to trust and it takes ages for that to develop..

Good luck and hope it works out..

CossieRich

iTrader: (1)

I reckon mate that if u havent cheated on her, then until she beleives that 100% then u gonna have ur work cut out in making things right. Dont have arguments over texts coz txting is one of the worse things eva invented in respect of relationship woes. U can gaureentee if there a two ways of understanding a text then the other person takes it in the way that it will upset them, even tho u didnt meen it to. She wouldnt say she loved u still if she didnt meen it mate so u have something to work on. Its when one person falls out of love with the other that u will b in bother. See if u can get away for an evening or w/e (no not a dirty one b4 the comments start) and talk it thru. Get all the little niggles out in the open, and try and sort them 1 by 1. I could go on and on etc coz i have been in the position that u have been in.

And in answer to ur 1st statement bout understanding women. u wont.

Good luck

lisa10

cossierich330,

You said exactly some of the things ive said..shall I call you an agony uncle..hehe

Lets hope it all works out for them...

CossieRich

iTrader: (1)

Sorry Lisa, u obviously posted whilst i was typing. U can call me agony uncle if u want but i prefer rich.

kay2

i know, half the poblem is ive told her exactly what mischieve i been up to in past relationships, and she works where my ex used to work. Now she says she cant trust me, i mean what i did was so stupid it was unbelievable i would be able to here the crys of NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO from here, but i have explained to her exactly what happened and she has spoken to the girl in question.....

Anonymous

Trust is a very fragile emotion If she's been betrayed in the past and knows you have been capable of betraying someone then it will be a huge hurdle for her to get over....trust me..I know!!

My b/f has a chequered past in that respect, and whats worse for me is I've been a close friend of his for years before we got together so i know far more than a g/f should!! But I'm sure there are many blokes on here that will put their hands up to being players in their youth but having found the right woman at the right time it has completely changed them! Its called growing up!


But seriously...be very careful with begging her back, you were spot on saying You don't know what you've got till its gone trouble is....you know what you had because she's the one thats left, but at the moment she doesn't have the same feeling of losing you, she's in control and she knows that if she wants to she can change things at any given time........I know this because I left someone and was in the same situation with him chasing me, sending beautiful letters, flowers, everything imaginable but I found it easy to push him away...until one day he stopped, then I found out he was with someone else....and yep...you guessed...I wanted him!!!

IMO I would send her some flowers or a teddy anything special to you both with simple a letter telling her you Love her, you respect her decision although it hurts so deep this is your last ditch attempt to persuade her that your relationship is worth fighting for, but its because you love her so much you are giving her the space to decide if her love for you is great enough for you both to start afresh and go on to be stronger and happier than ever.



sorry, waffled there....and some may think its not the best idea, but as I said, IMO and in my experience.

B19-TRB

If i was a woman for a day I would spend i playin with my boobs!

U will never understand women m8! hell women dont understand themsleves so how the fook r we supose to!

kay2

thats exactly the problem nik, me and deb have been good friends for years!! Shes said its because she doesnt trust me. but i think the biggest problem for her is the fact that ive told her that i dont want kids or marriage,so she thinks i wont commit, stupid I know, its not the fact that i dont want them, its the fact that its scares me shitless, every relationship ive had has ended in heartache mainly for me, and on the whole im not that bad i boyfriend, ive watched my mum go through two horrendous marriages and being the oldest ive had to pick up the pieces when they have collapsed. Its just all left me with a sour taste in my mouth. Im just so used to being let down that i put up every barrier possible and now someone that truely loved me and was devoted to me has walked

And now the stupid thing is idont want her to be a learning curve for me, i want to work towards having the trust in our relationship to aim for those things with her...
But she doesnt believe me due to the sudden change of mind...and she thinks im just sayin it to get her back.

*Anna*

The worst feeling in the world is the thought of someone cheating on you especially when it's not the truth. And your mates saying "come on we will go out get drunk and pull someone else" Or get a Dog!!!!!! Hello Boys????? Life ain't like that. It's hard on your side of things cause you are not in her position and you will never know how/what she's feeling.

You can Love someone so much, never want them to leave your side and on the other hand hate them for what they have/think done to you.

It's the hurt and disrespect and the thought of everyone knowing and you don't. The lies and all nicey, nicey when she has her back turned you off with this other bint. Then you turn around and say how much you Love her. It's a bit hipercritical. Not saying that you have done anything but this is probably the way she's thinking.

I do hope she reads this thread so she can make up her own mind. A word of warning, don't force her otherwise she will get peed off with you. Yes put your point across, just give her space.

Life is more than going out pulling every bit of skirt you can, once you find the right partner you will fight for them.