we've got new apprentice in the workshop, hes probably one of the best boys we've had he picks things up quickly and doesn't mess about. the problem is he's getting quite cocky because some of the guys have been telling him just how good he is.

we need to bring him back down to earth with a few wind ups, he's not going to fall for old ones like sending him for a long stand etc.( although he did spend 20 mins walking about looking for a population tool )

what have you done to apprentices?

 

grease his baws

 

bitch slap him

 

tell him to try and flip a coin off his forhead into a funnel down his trousers, get a few of the lads to try first. when its his go someone pour water/oil down the funnel

 

Send him for a bottle of compressed air



Usually send the new starts for sky hooks, its great fun

 

lock him in a locker, that what we did

 

Tartan paint, bag of sparks for your lighter, send them for a long weight

 

i used to regulary fill his sandwiches with wood glue and shavings. youd think after the first time he'd check before taking a bite but he never did. we also nailed him star shaped through his sleaves and trouser legs to the hoarding around the shop we were fitting out on a main street next to a bus stop then we undid his trouser button and belt so the more he wriggled the further his trousers fell down.
we also nailed him to a work bench and went home leaving him to be found by the big boss as he was locking up for the night. the boss went mad at him for allowing himself to be nailed down.

 

Put a broom through his shirt, tape ends to his hands, put him on the floor.... soak him, throw swarfeager (sp) over him,hair,flour, pubes, piss or what ever, colour his face with marker pens

 

send him for a front pipe for a caravan

 

we got our apperentice to ring up the paint suppliers and order some tartan paint

 

I got that on video to one of our apprentices, funny as fook but its on me old phone , will charge it up and upload it at some point

Bri.

 

 

Young lad ( Was a knob anyway ) at the merc dealership i used to work at was changing the manifold on his 1.6 206 cossie eater after cracking it. Anyways when he fooked off a few mins we nipped over an stuck a siringe full oh power steering fluid down the ( just asking for it ) downpipe.

20 mins or so later he gets it all done an that an starts its up after about 1 min or so thick white smoke starts pouring out his back box an his fookin face went even whiter, he was only a tyre fitter for quick fit an thought he knew it all but shit it when this happened as he did not have a clue what was going on.

We were hidin behind a bonnet of a car on the other side of the workshop in stiches, But sods law the gaffer walks through the workshop on his way home an goes ape shit as the workshop was now full of smoke an we all pissed off home, sneaking out the side door lmao.

Pissing myself now thinking about his face, was a classic

 

send him to the stores for a nitrogen blanket.

 

start looking on the floor and when he asks what you looking for, tell him a valve clearance has been dropped, get him to help you look and then leave him to it.

 

send him off for a bottle of jet wash.or give him a bag of "contaminated oxygen" to deliver somewhere,but dont let him drive or it could explode!left handed screw driver.bolt his boots to his locker then fill them with silicon sealant.send him to get his xmas bonus from the boss!give him a note to give to the boss that says "i fucked your daughter last night".send him to get his ID 10 T (idiot) which is his ID for conflict where he has his pic taken with a respirator on!
granted a few are forces only jokes but hey!

 

give him a sealed envelope with the message inside "pharmacist where are the condoms?" then send him to the chemist


Luciano

 

made me piss laughing that, pubes and piss

 

Pulled most of them pranks on apprentices, another that we liked was getting them to hold the HT leads while we were sat in the car with a computer & kept creating a spark

While the apprentice is under a car set his legs on fire.

If you got a pit get him working under the car & pour liquids down his neck.

Order glow plugs for a petrol engine.

If they like drinking from cans drill a small hole in the bottom empty the can then fill it with cold tea etc etc, comes to open it & drinks something unpleasant.

 

Pin him on the floor on his front, tie wrap is hands to his feet. Then cover every hair on his body in gaffer tape. Leave him for a bit then cut the tie wraps.

P.S. I suggest the biggest lad in thw work shop cuts the tie wraps off.

 

Laugh mate, It was true.... Ive seen this happen loads

 

At my uncle's funeral today we heard the story about him working on a site and all the lads went for a T break but he stayed outside.

Just then, the timber supports in a trench gave way and the whole thing collapsed, so he threw his helmet into the hole and hid - while his mates rushed out and started frantically digging to save him!

Nice one Jim! - aka "The Tash"

 

Send him to parts for a long anal screw.

 

super glue his boots to floor,get a length of strong bar thread it through his 2 arms on his ovies and hang him from a 4 poster lift, laxative in his cuppa,

 

laxatives bri, evil coont

 

Sent one of apprentices off down the chemist to get the boss 2000 paracetamol's hence the chemist refused to serve him.

Another when working on a job was to say we need a long weight (wait) so off he would go asking every one if they had a long weight.

 

me no make sure its liquid type works a treat should see them run to bog lol

 

for a chippy etc theres glass nails, left handed hammer/ spanners etc, skirting ladders

 

When i did my work experience at school i worked for an electrician for two weeks, they sent me to the van to look for some 8mm holes, i was there for ages before i realised they were taking the piss!!

 

i got sent for a long wait when i done my apprenticeship, but the person they sent me to explaing so just dossed for a while lol

 

not me, but a mate welded the apprentices tool box way up high on a steel beam. Same mate held down the poor bloke and vegemited his ba**s. That stuff stings!

 

Get some sparks for the grinder?

Get some air for the compressor?

There gettin worse!!!

 

pmsl

We sent one of the lads to the bank with the banking with a note in "SAYING IT WAS A HOLD UP" Not recommended as it caused alot of shit in the bank and when the police brought him back we was all given a right bollokin buy them and our boss....

Looking back now it was as funny as fock...

 

i had a few when i was an appentice, had a room called the panic room when i was been cheeky got dragged in there a few times

there was a few that i had done to me they put engineers blue round my ear muffs and made loads of noise so i put them on and my ears was blue
had to do the sarnie run had to get some chocolate round squares
some pigeon milk toffies!!!

and i remember a bloke called daz used to wind tom another apprentice up and tom went to go to volvo, the funny fucker took daz'z draw out of his tool box n had shit in a bag and put it in then put the draw back
took daz about a week to find out where the smell was coming from

 

we've been doing loads of practical jokes at work just lately... a few good ones are:

put graphogen or grease on the earpiece of the phone then call someone up

stuff something in the end of their boots

when someone is concentrating on welding or something similay, hit the bench/ramp with a fooking big hammer


and a couple of nasty ones:

ask your apprentice if they've ever played any instruments, then get him to go and ask one of your workmates about his famous sister who has played the piano with some of the worlds biggest stars etc...

when he asks, get your workmate to turn around and call him a sick fuck, keeping a dead straight face. then get your workmate to say that she's got no fingers, still keeping the straight face. then he can tell your apprentice to fuck off and never talk to him again

he'll be walking around worried as fuck... you can wind your apprentice up further by telling him that he should really go and apologise etc.

when you feel he's suffered enough, you can tell him the truth



another good one is to tell him that one of the cars he has worked on has had a wheel fall off on the motorway and killed all inside it... and say that the boss is going to talk to him later

 

i was sent to the stores to get a long counter weight

2 hours later i was still there

so i cam eback and said the fella had gone off for his lunch break and i'd go back when he was there again

then i was sent to get a sky hook instead of the counter weight so off i trundled again

some one else thought they knew better and went and got a block and tackle and put it on the instrectors desk giving it the smary old "i know what i'm doing"

when it was explained he was more embarresed than me

 

and you can get left handed hammers

 

Send him to a factor's for 3 foot of falopion (sp) tube

And we did to one before broom down the sleeve's and taped his hand's to the broom. Then we came out with the bright idea that we should take him to the staff room and there was a wall full of them hook's for your coat's. So we lifted him onto them and left him hanging there. But he managed to lift himself off with his feet but fell forward and cos he had a broom down his arm's he couldnt put his hand's down to break fall and ended up smashing his face on the deck
We got major shit for that

 

my mate got his balls greased and someone chucked iron filings in there too, just for good measure,

one of the apprentices a few years back was a cocky little school leaver, and we got a new tool box delivered to work, which came in a huge cardboard box, so just before dinner time we threw him in the box and used about 6 rolls of duck tape to keep him in, came back off dinner and all proceeded to kick the fook out of the box with him still in