PMSL at some of these

anymore suggestions?

 

Black ball him....

 

send him to get a glass hammer or rubber screw driver!!

 

Send him to the local pie shop or super market for VIRGIN TARTS but make sure he asks for them to a female member of staff

 

Workin on a site we would get some of the lads to find a bubble for the level, When they say they cant find them insist that there is a bag of them and they wont be easy to see as they are clear

 

Gaffer tape him to a chair and put him in a big bin!

 

Also had a habit of epoxying my old bosses possesions to tables and toolboxes, Very funny to watch him grab a pen to give to a customer and end up pulling a toolbox off the table

 

ask him to get sky hooks or purple headed rimming tools
once saw an apprentice get held down and several tubes of silicon pumped around his balls
tie him to a pole and leave the fire hose sprinkling on him and put a sign out asking everyone walking past to soak him in aid of charity
screw his tool box to the floor
put red ink marker on his hard hat with flux wont be long till he gets a red ring round his head

 

Put 2 eggs in his boots, that way he'll pant his foot in either and it'll explode over his toes

Dan

 

chase him with a lighter and can of WD40

 

its a regular occurrence to spray wd 40 on someones work while they're welding, they lift their mask and shit them self.

 

got a vices ?? clamp his overalls in them lol

cable tie them to a chair then but a boil of boiling water on their lap

shut them in a parts trolly and steam clean them (from a distance)

pit them in a bin cable tie the lid shut drill some holes in the lid and start filling it with water

broom handle through the arms then lift them up in the air with the ramp

 

we had a cockey little sh*te in our workshop,

me and the foreman devised a plan and got him good

-take one broom handle
-one four poster ramp
-one lunch break
-one apprentice

1.pin down apprentice
2.feed broom hanle through the arms of his overalls, from cuff to cuff
3.stand him in the middle of the four poster
4.one person hold him in the correct way and one person lift up the ramp catching the little scroats arms, and leave him dangling, not too high though, just high enough so his tip toes can touch the ground
5. leave him there till he learns not to be cockey

 

we sent the apprentice to the bodyshop factors for two wings for a 747.
give him credit though he thought it was a volvo.

gaffer tape him to a wheelie bin fill it with water, he has then to try and carry it or if he knocks it over he gets wet. simple.

 

Sent a trainee to cafe with the breakfast list
and on the list someone had asked for a Clitoris Bun

Also showed him the top and bottom ball joints on a Mini and explained the reason why the ball joints have grease nipples etc then sent him into reception to ask the two young ladies who had drove Mini into garage whether they would like their nipples greased ?

Spray Silicon lube on push bike rims is also a favourite

 

We once sent our extremly cocky work experience lad to get us a bucket of steam, every time he got to us with the bucket we'd tell the steam was no good & he'd run to get more

Sent 1 mechanic down the shop & while he was down there we loaded his toolbox onto the back of the scrap metal truck, should have seen his face when the truck passed him with his toolbox on the back, never seen him run so fast trying to catch it.

 

i always wait until the boy goes for a dump then get busy with a can of carb cleaner and a lighter spray round the door frame and underneath, my boy learnt not to give it the biggun after i done that

 

Used to work in an electrical wholesalers, there was a engineering firm over the road. They used to send their apprenticies in with a flourescent tube and would get them to ask us if we could fill it up with Light for them!!!

And they told them to keep the tube level or all the light would fall to one end!!

Cant remember the amountof times we watched a lad walk back to the enginering place with the tube level and his workmates ripping it out of him !

 

Sent a lad for a bag of new spirit level bubbles last week. When the unleaded petrol came out years ago, i remember i sent someone to have our 110 volt drills converted to run on an unleaded powered generator. I told him the drills we had would only run on leaded

 

ur pure evil m8 lol

 

send em off to get the gangle pin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJ2xmrESajA

 

if they sleep during dinner cable tie there legs to the chair, then scream the boss is here and get everyone to jump up. they fall back down as soon as they get up lol

 

Sent a lad to the shop for a creamy quim the silly bastard went and asked for it i fucking pissed myself

 

or a fluffle valve

or why not a giggle pin

 

brilliant

 

love it

 

does he wear overalls??

lad at our place doesn't so I got him to hold up a gearbox for me, kegged him then went and had lunch

the glue that holds the tread on roller brake testers is stupidly strong and we had some left so I stuck everything I could find to his tool box (including a big picture of a Rover 400), I also put his tool box on axle stands and hid all the wheels....... he's leaving now to join the army

 

we did this to a new kid a few months ago, came back and said they only had Ovaries stores said call back in an hour, hour passes then the kid walks up with a box weighing 40k, puts it on the ground, inside was a jack we use to level the units with a sign "YOU THICK CUNT!!!"

 

loved this 1. was on the floor laughing

 

Another one

I used to work at a tyre house we did a lot of truck and agricultural tyre's.
We had a bead cheater which is a compressed air container with a tube about a foot long coming off in the middle and a tap you would fill the thing up with the compressor and basic.ly it would inflate the tyre if the bead did.nt touch the rim.it would fire in a shit load of air with a big bang
So we filled it up to the max and we then filled up the tube with tyre talc and waited for this kid to go for a shit and when he was curling one out we put the tube under the door and let it off.
It was fucking brilliant lol
He came out like casper the ghost
And it had line's on his overall's where they'd been round his ankle's
But with it been so effective everyone had it done to them when they went to the bog

 

strip him naked and cover his manhood in grease shave off his pubic hair parade him round the workshop naked then take him outside for all to see strip him naked tie him to a pair of sack trucks and if its an indusrual estate wheel him round to all the other units and show him off dont give him any clothes to wear for the day give him a real bad hair cut

 

Thats sounds abit fooking gay to me.

Anyway this is 3years old.

 

get him to order a box of short circuits are some follopian tube

 

dunno if this has been posted yet..lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpXGLwaPP48

 

lol. did'nt look at the date when i posted.

he'll be time served now..

 

read what we did to our apperentice who got out of line its on the apperentice abuse what do you do web page hope you dont think its to long and it makes you laugh cheers

 

when we had a cocky apprentice i stuck his tool box to the floor with windscreen glue. he walked up casually to pick it up and nearly ripped his arm off

 

squash all the air out of the teabag in a cup of tea and it falls to the bottom of the cup. one of the other apprentices used to gulp his tea down and was also dead cocky, so we left one in the bottom of the cup and he gulped it. he then preceded to throw it all back up and make a mess of the workshop so the boss went mad and got him to stay behind and clear it all up!

He tried in vein to get us back, but he wasnt that sharp. he also fell for the long weight trick...

 

if he has long hair shave his head