F********* Ex's!

I had to fight for nearly 3yrs in court to get what i got at the mo (and i've had since 2006) 4hr a fortnight contact, as she stated allegation after allegation.

Anyway today was my contact day, and i get a grilling because i gave him a biscuit & cake instead of 'proper food' i used to feed him 'proper dinner' but she told me to stop that as he wasn't hungry when he got home so to just give him a sandwich, but today everything i offered him he kept saying no to, so i thought it better he eats something rather than nothing........but no

 

Idiots mate, I think it's more a case of her letting you know you don't know your own son. Or trying to tell you, should I say. I wouldn't be suprised if she fills his head with shit.

Benni.

 

I think with some bints you can't do right for doing wrong.

 

Have I read that right, you only get to see him for four hours a fournight?

Benni.

 

It's fucking ridiciulous, anyone else would be more concerned about the child, and making sure he was happy. But some twats would rather they got one over on you, made herself look good, and you look like a cunt.

Benni.

 

Yep 4hrs a fortnight! AND he doesn't know i'm his dad, how sad! when the Ex stopped contact and moved her now hubby in he was dad, now i'm back in the picture it's still i'm ady

She also said today as she was walking of, i hope you realise what you have done to him? apart from tell him i'm his dad nothing that i know of? then i get the hand signals, very mature so next contact she will either not turn up, get her hubby to give me shit, or both

 

Make him laugh, kids love to laugh. Hand signals? She sounds fit to be a Mother...

 

It constantly baffles me how mean and cruel some humans can be. So two people who were in love fell out of love - so what, big deal. Whether you like each other or not is completely irrelevant when it comes to a child, when both of you are the parent. How can one parent deny/manipulate access of the other parent to their own fucking child?

Okay fair enough, if the parent being exlcuded is excluded for good reason (drug addict, child abuser, rapist, criminal, etc etc etc) but when it's a "decent" human being that just wants to be a part of thier childs life, and be a father to them, then how in gods name can that access be discriminated against?

Then, with the limited access granted, how again, can someone dictate what can and can't be done - what food can and can't be eaten, what activity can and can't be chosen etc....

It fucking sickens me, and I feel sorry for the child most of all - being torn like a rag doll in a tug or war - and I can't understand how a mother (in this case) would be able to use a child as a "device" in this game of "get back at the ex-husband/boyfriend" - doens't show good intent as a good mother does it?

Granted I don't know all the facts about your particular scenario Ady, but this is all too common in this world.

My parents split, no fault on my mothers part (was my dads descision to leave) but fortunately I, and my siblings, are some of the lucky ones where my parents didn't feel the need to go to court for custody, or fight it out over how many hours whichever one is allowed to see them for - it was all settled amicably, and whilst my parents might not be on "normal" speaking turns, when they do converse at least it's pleasent and polite. My siblings choose when they want to see my dad, when he's about that is, and all is well. Maybe it's different as we are grown up now, we were younger at the time, with my two sisters being pretty young when it all went down, but still.....

I just never understand that two people who are so much in love at one time, so much so they get married, have children etc, can then turn and be so utterly vicious and cruel......

 

Tell her to grow up and realise that regardless of what has happened in the past SHE is in the wrong for stopping a little boy see his real Dad regularly.

 

A always try to play with him to make him laugh which he does

Totally agree Thrush, i try and talk polite to her and she was the one who cheated on me after i refused to marry her and have another child as at the time it wasn't what i wanted, so after a yr with the bloke she cheated on me with they had a kid and married

 

Fantastic mate! You're onto a winner. I know there's a little girl up my road who will talk to nobody, but she will run down the street and jump on me, purely because I make her laugh.

Benni.

 

Sweet i've yet to see my boy again, i doubt she'll turn up for contact next time, or she will but her hubby will play the hard man

 

4 hrs a fortnight man thats rough hang in there though fella he will know whats what as he gets older.

 

Yeah thats all i been holding out for mate

 

Then, he will realise he missed out speding quality time with a great dad, all because of his mum. She might think she is smart, in the long run she certaintly is not.

Benni.

 

Is her new bloke not a drug dealer?
If someone tips off the police will they not find drugs stashed about the house?

Sorry to hear your situation

 

you have rights if your name is on the birth certificate,you should be getting more than 4 hours!

 

my heart goes out to you pal , i went through this too.

she would only let me see my son if i grovelled to her and as i didnt have parental responsibility at the time could do fek all about it.

spent thousands to get a defined contact order and she spend far more trying to stop me. the best advise that i got was to make sure to devote every second of every occasion that i was with him entirely to him - no phone calls to mates or anything which was not 100% for him. make him see the time you have together as special time. was great advise because it is difficult for anyone to do this full time (ie the ex 24/7) and meant that he was dying to see me - he would even ring me up when he learnt how to use the phone when she was in the shower. eventually she realised she was shooting herself in the foot and relented.

good luck

 

That's awesome that she comes running, i was hoping mine would do the same but when he's bought with either ex or her hubby he walks with them until they get to the car, then he just gets in and i strao him in, as for saying what he's eaten, die to the court order i have to tell her what i got planned for the day, then when i return i have to tell her what he's eaten and how he's behaved.

My name is on BC, but due to her allegations i first had supervised contact

 

Ooh yeah i have PR as i applied for it while going for contact which i was awarded, the Ex never even liked that and when the Judge read out that he was awarding me PR she stormed out of court, so not to couse arguments i haven't used it......yet but will be finding out his Dr's & school on monday so i can write to them

 

Cheers rudey he's 7, he was nearly 3 when we split, and straight after his 3rd birthday contact stopped, but like i said i doubt she'll show for contact next time, maybe tho who knows, but yeah when i see him i'm always happy and playing with him

 

its just wrong the full system, parents who do want to be involved in their own childs upbringing arent given enough rights to do so, and those that do and can't look after them properly are laughing

i'd personally be telling him that i was his dad, it's disgraceful, but in the long run it's his mother who's gonna look the twat when he's old enough to realise

 

I hope so as she would have broken the court order

 

I always tell him i'm dad, but 4hrs a fortnight with me the rest with his mum, he knows differently, he keeps reminding me what his surname is (although it's mine on BC) he keeps telling me it's his now mums his dads

 

its a shite situation to be in, but at 7yrs old he will be getting a bit wiser and im sure once the questions start coming he will sharp realise whats going on, kids are a lot brighter at that age than you think

( ive got shared custody of my eldest 2 with their dad) and i hear allsorts from Bethany, who's 7 about what she thinks about x and y

 

im in the same predicament.....

However i havent seen my 3 and 3/4 yr old son since october.... My ex decided i was bad for my son because i spoil him and im well off than her and her boyfriend. I havent a clue why thats bad and why she stopped contact. I have gone over to hers on several occasions but she is either out or rings the police im hassling her. Im at my wits end tbh, i had a great thing going with my son. He knew me as dad although he calls her bf dad too which is confusing for him. He loves his cars too, i still have all his xmas presents in the spare room.
I went to the soliciters a while back and we sorted things mutually and i have been seeing him for over a year. I want to go back to the soliciters and get court proceedings but im scared as to how much it costs, i dont know if i can afford to.
In a nut shell she wants her boyfriend to be the dad to my son and doesnt want me around complicating things. She already has two kids to her boyfriend.
Dont really know what to do anymore......



Sorry for hi-jacking your thread mate..... reading this has just made me think of things....

 

I feel for you mate, my story was similar, only when they stopped contact her now hubby bought me round an injunction from the court so couldn't go round, not that i would, but i had xmas & birthday pressies left here for him, then when he finally could open them he was too old for them

Know what you mean about solicitor's fees, when she stopped contact the first time i was suicidal so got put on sick with depression then had legal aid, as i'm still on sick i guess i'll still get legal aid.

It's worth going to a solicitor mate, you never know, that letter to her from the solicitor might make her just agree to longer contact.

 

i cant really afford to loose my job mate, i have a house and girlfriend of 3 years to keep. I know how you feel mate, my mrs is a rock to me. I just keep plodding on hoping that she will come to her senses.

 

EDIT - WTF..... i replied to the other thread about the person not being arsed with his car not this one! :S

 

feel for you fella , been through the same situation ,

was with a lass on and off for three years and her lil boy who means the world to me had never had a dad, after three years i was his dad , , granted i was sometimes a shit boyfriend but i was great with bailey ,

anyway she always said that no matter what i would be in his life, she swore that to me,

we broke up and she got a new fella, now for the first three months i was allowed contact , if not more than i usually got ( which i never minded ) as she wanted to bag her new fella as i put it , once that fucker was int he big bed , i started getting called worse than shit , and couldnt do right , till over the space of four weeks a complete breakdown in commuinication happend ,

she pushed me to the point of where i coulndt eat , sleep or do anything in fear of loosing him , i shunned my friends and everyone who tried to reason with me

it got to the point where i said i had to go work away for a couple of weeks and could i have a lil space to get my head straight , this was just what she needed and i got told i could no longer see him ,

that was a year ago mate , and even now im still fighting to see that lil boy , i have no legal right , but that dont bother me , its more the moral right that he loves me and i love him ,

even now when im nearby where he lives , it will run to me with his arms open, ( till shes calls him bk in out of spite )

i will never ever undestand how people can use there children as weapons to hurt and get one over on people who care .

but her day will come , when hes old enough to decide wgho he wants to see


, kepp fighting fella

good luck

beef

 

Apologise for bringing this old thread back up, but it gets better

I still dont know which school my boy attends, when i went into the 'local education authority' they told me they couldn't give me that info even tho i had PR

Anyway after being fobbed off for well over a yr i'm in court soon (but Shhhhhh she dont know yet )

The best bit, and the reason i replied to this thread:

As you may have read, MY boy doesn't know i'm his dad, due to the Ex and her hubby, i tell him i'm dad but in the 5hrs, yes it was increased by an hr, i tell him i'm dad but it doesn't sink in. Anyway when i collected him for last contact, the husband gets in my face and says "dont tell him i'm not his dad! i'm like i dont, i tell him i'm daddy ady, well i find out otherwise i wont be fucking happy! thing is he's only step dad, how sad must he be?!

 

You've no idea how angry I am right now after reading the majority of the posts in this thread.

At least you managing to keep your cool about it, I know for sure I'd of kicked the shit out of both of 'em by now if it was me.

I really feel for you mate, I'd be lost without my little lad.

 

keep telling him our his dad and DONT let anyone tell you what to do mate if he does any thing to you you have all of pf on your side

 

keep telling your boy that YOU ARE HIS DAD ! let the mutant step dad get in your face AND LET HIM HIT YOU! have him arrested for gbh and then apply for custody due to the violent behaviour of your ex's partner.
my daughter was taken to spain and i was stopped from seeing her for 5 years, they changed her name etc etc . I now see her regularly and i realise that no matter what anyone has ever said about me she loves me and will never see anyone else as her dad .
I promise you m8 the same goes for you and your lad , no one will ever be able to take the blood bond away and even tho you might not see it right now its there .

 

what aload of bollocks, where does he get off telling you what you can and cant tell your own son, he doesnt even get any say at all just call his bluff and if he hits you or something(he sounds that type) then eventually that will work in your favour wont it

Whatever happens dont lay a finger on him though!