Leicester traffic Police - kiss my swingers !
09-03-2009, 06:30 PM
#1
Leicester traffic Police - kiss my swingers !
As you may have already guessed, I have had a little but of a run in with Leicester Traffic. Been up North for work, coming back and missed the Leicester services and needed a pee. In the outside lane, saw it at the last moment and couldn't get across. Really needed to go, so pulls onto the hard shoulder. Engine running, opened both nearside doors by the verge so at least I was covered, stand in between them and have a pee on the verge. Traffic Volvo pulls up, asks me what's wrong so I said sorry mate, needed a pee and missed the services. First thing he does is checks my tax disc, which is fine as is the rest of my car as anyone who knows me will verify - I'm very anal about making sure everything is right. Get asked if I have my licence on me (which I did) so handed that over and then get asked to get in the back of the Volvo. He runs a PNC check, all clear. Then the cunt starts 
'Stopping on the hard shoulder is a serious offence' - I look at him in disbelief, but say nothing and then he says 'it's a £30 fine, but no points'. Again, I said nothing but I'm fuming inside. He writes out the ticket.
Traffic Police '1' - Mr S1 '0'
I sit there, thinking 'you no good dirty shit cunt arsehole jobsworth wanker' but again say nothing. No point is there ? The he says to me 'youre a way from home where have you been' ? I say I've been seeing a friend locally, and he starts asking how I know people up there. I tell him she's a 'friend' I've been seeing for a while but she's married. I could tell by the look on his face he wasn't impressed, and he asked me what her husband would say if he found out. I sat there, smiled inwardly and thought 'gotcha'
so i told him her old man was a traffic copper in the Leicester Police Force and spent alot of time patrolling the M1 
Traffic Police '1' - Mr S1 '1'
He then asked me if I thought I was funny, so I told him he asked and if he didn't want to know then he shouldn't have. He said it was best if I got out the car then, but first tells me he wants me to proceed up to 50 on the hard shoulder and then indicate and pull out. Wanker.
OK, I got saddled with the £30 but it's worth every penny to get one over on the smug bastard. So, Mr 'Jobsworth Cunt' Leicester Traffic copper, you can kiss my swingers arsehole and I hope someone is roaring up your Mrs when you're on nights
'Stopping on the hard shoulder is a serious offence' - I look at him in disbelief, but say nothing and then he says 'it's a £30 fine, but no points'. Again, I said nothing but I'm fuming inside. He writes out the ticket.
Traffic Police '1' - Mr S1 '0'
I sit there, thinking 'you no good dirty shit cunt arsehole jobsworth wanker' but again say nothing. No point is there ? The he says to me 'youre a way from home where have you been' ? I say I've been seeing a friend locally, and he starts asking how I know people up there. I tell him she's a 'friend' I've been seeing for a while but she's married. I could tell by the look on his face he wasn't impressed, and he asked me what her husband would say if he found out. I sat there, smiled inwardly and thought 'gotcha'
so i told him her old man was a traffic copper in the Leicester Police Force and spent alot of time patrolling the M1 Traffic Police '1' - Mr S1 '1'
He then asked me if I thought I was funny, so I told him he asked and if he didn't want to know then he shouldn't have. He said it was best if I got out the car then, but first tells me he wants me to proceed up to 50 on the hard shoulder and then indicate and pull out. Wanker.
OK, I got saddled with the £30 but it's worth every penny to get one over on the smug bastard. So, Mr 'Jobsworth Cunt' Leicester Traffic copper, you can kiss my swingers arsehole and I hope someone is roaring up your Mrs when you're on nights
09-03-2009, 06:35 PM
#2
Sounds like you were dealt with fairly given you actually commited a dangerous offence?
Then you gave the guy cheek for it?
Not sure I get why you think you have got one over on anyone? You look like the arse in this situation
Really not sure how to see the situation any other way, I'd personally be embarrased to admit such a mounumental fuck up on your behalf
No wonder Traffic Cops often have grumpy faces, they must deal with people like you everyday, while they are just doing their job.
Then you gave the guy cheek for it?
Not sure I get why you think you have got one over on anyone? You look like the arse in this situation
Really not sure how to see the situation any other way, I'd personally be embarrased to admit such a mounumental fuck up on your behalf
No wonder Traffic Cops often have grumpy faces, they must deal with people like you everyday, while they are just doing their job.
09-03-2009, 06:37 PM
#4
Sounds like you were dealt with fairly given you actually commited a dangerous offence?
Then you gave the guy cheek for it?
Not sure I get why you think you have got one over on anyone? You look like the arse in this situation
Really not sure how to see the situation any other way, I'd personally be embarrased to admit such a mounumental fuck up on your behalf
No wonder Traffic Cops often have grumpy faces, they must deal with people like you everyday, while they are just doing their job.
Then you gave the guy cheek for it?
Not sure I get why you think you have got one over on anyone? You look like the arse in this situation
Really not sure how to see the situation any other way, I'd personally be embarrased to admit such a mounumental fuck up on your behalf
No wonder Traffic Cops often have grumpy faces, they must deal with people like you everyday, while they are just doing their job.
Wooo, public enemy number one me......
09-03-2009, 06:39 PM
#5
Sounds like you were dealt with fairly given you actually commited a dangerous offence?
Then you gave the guy cheek for it?
Not sure I get why you think you have got one over on anyone? You look like the arse in this situation
Really not sure how to see the situation any other way, I'd personally be embarrased to admit such a mounumental fuck up on your behalf
No wonder Traffic Cops often have grumpy faces, they must deal with people like you everyday, while they are just doing their job.
Then you gave the guy cheek for it?
Not sure I get why you think you have got one over on anyone? You look like the arse in this situation
Really not sure how to see the situation any other way, I'd personally be embarrased to admit such a mounumental fuck up on your behalf
No wonder Traffic Cops often have grumpy faces, they must deal with people like you everyday, while they are just doing their job.
jesus, lighten up! i'm sure you do 30mph in a 30, 40 in a 40, 70 in a 70 blah blah blahyou sound like the sort of bloke who calls a black board a chalk board because black board isnt politically correct
09-03-2009, 06:41 PM
#8
founder of chicken porn
09-03-2009, 06:45 PM
#12
14000+ post superhero
you stopped on the hard shoulder because you needed a piss? thats downright dangerous and deserving of the fine.
you should do what i do and hold a bottle in one hand ,piss in it whilst steering with your knees and changing gear with your other hand. and you can do it while travelling at 100mph. you dont even need to slow down.
thats much safer.
you should do what i do and hold a bottle in one hand ,piss in it whilst steering with your knees and changing gear with your other hand. and you can do it while travelling at 100mph. you dont even need to slow down.
thats much safer.
Last edited by fuzzy; 09-03-2009 at 06:46 PM.
09-03-2009, 06:46 PM
#14
you stopped on the hard shoulder because you needed a piss? thats downright dangerous and deserving of the fine.
you should do what i do and hold a bottle in one hand ,piss in it whilst steering with your knees and changing gear with your other hand. and you can do it while travelling at 100mph. you dont even need to slow down.
thats much safer.
you should do what i do and hold a bottle in one hand ,piss in it whilst steering with your knees and changing gear with your other hand. and you can do it while travelling at 100mph. you dont even need to slow down.
thats much safer.
09-03-2009, 06:47 PM
#16
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Stu I usually dont have a problem with you at all, but in all fairness you committed an offence, I also thought pissing in public was an offence also, but hey.
Just feel there is no need.
Just feel there is no need.
09-03-2009, 07:00 PM
#19
14000+ post superhero
when im approaching a slip road i want i find sitting in the inside lane helps more than hogging the outside trying to get another car length in front.
09-03-2009, 07:12 PM
#20
I explained myself quite clearly - you show off about your own fuck up, then make out the Police are wankers etc, when in this case they aren't.
I'm also not on crack or any other drug. I'm saying it exactly as I see it.
You commited an offence, copper fines you fairly, and you get on your high horse about it. For no reason what so ever
That is all I said in the first post, you were wrong, and your post only highlights how wrong you are.
What I don't do is bitch about something I have no reason to bitch about. If I fuck up, I hold my hands up to it. Not blame someone doing their job, especially when I even admit I'm the one who cocked up. If I was doing 90, and got caught I wouldn't call the copper a wanker.
I'd be kicking myself. Mr S1 needs to do the same. It was a "fair cop" and he should take it on the chin and deal with it.
1 more thing, I hate all the PC bollocks, so for me black board is exactly that.
Hope that covers it for you, and you now understand why I posted what I did. If not then read it again
09-03-2009, 07:17 PM
#21
PassionFord Post Whore!!
Leicestershire police are some of the worst coppers ive EVER had the pleasure of meeting matey.
They will do you what ever they can and if it goes to court(what ever the offence may have been) then they'll bend you over and royaly screw you till you bleed no more.
They will do you what ever they can and if it goes to court(what ever the offence may have been) then they'll bend you over and royaly screw you till you bleed no more.
09-03-2009, 07:18 PM
#23
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09-03-2009, 07:24 PM
#24
founder of chicken porn
09-03-2009, 07:47 PM
#29
Si - were mates so I am not trying to piss on ur post. Lets just face it, what the chap who was stopped said was funny. He was sharing a funny story, it made me laugh.
Stopping on the hard shoulder to p1ss, is quite frankly not what I would call dangerous driving. U don't get a fine for breaking down and being on the hard shoulder and most break downs could be stopped with a little use of the nogin.
I thought it was funny but usually when they stop me I try and keep quiet and look like I got the message, mainly because I am trying very hard to get away with no ban.
Cheers
RW
Stopping on the hard shoulder to p1ss, is quite frankly not what I would call dangerous driving. U don't get a fine for breaking down and being on the hard shoulder and most break downs could be stopped with a little use of the nogin.
I thought it was funny but usually when they stop me I try and keep quiet and look like I got the message, mainly because I am trying very hard to get away with no ban.
Cheers
RW
09-03-2009, 07:53 PM
#30
Si - were mates so I am not trying to piss on ur post. Lets just face it, what the chap who was stopped said was funny. He was sharing a funny story, it made me laugh.
Stopping on the hard shoulder to p1ss, is quite frankly not what I would call dangerous driving. U don't get a fine for breaking down and being on the hard shoulder and most break downs could be stopped with a little use of the nogin.
I thought it was funny but usually when they stop me I try and keep quiet and look like I got the message, mainly because I am trying very hard to get away with no ban.
Cheers
RW
Stopping on the hard shoulder to p1ss, is quite frankly not what I would call dangerous driving. U don't get a fine for breaking down and being on the hard shoulder and most break downs could be stopped with a little use of the nogin.
I thought it was funny but usually when they stop me I try and keep quiet and look like I got the message, mainly because I am trying very hard to get away with no ban.
Cheers
RW
Fair and well worded Steve
Agreed the story ref the lady he was visiting was amusing. I'm not quick enough with things like that to ever use them.
And as per you, I normally just keep my gob shut and listen / nod, and take whatever punishment is given (naturally hoping for a good rollicking then on your way!) Been lucky so far in that respect (...runs off to find some wood to touch)
Si
09-03-2009, 07:55 PM
#31
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Im with Si B.
Stopping in the hard shoulder is daft. Stopping for a piss though, wtf, what age are you? Can't you hold it in till the next exit?
No sympathy here im afraid.
Stopping in the hard shoulder is daft. Stopping for a piss though, wtf, what age are you? Can't you hold it in till the next exit?
No sympathy here im afraid.
09-03-2009, 07:56 PM
#33
you can only use the hard shlder if you are broken down or sir alex furguson needing thve shit
everyone else is banned
stu, you should have made out that the car was overheating and you were going totop up the water if he was bing a twat about it
but i've also been ulled oer by plod on the motorway for not wearing a seatbelt, ironiclly, after i'd stopped at clacket lan services to go fo a piss
they followed me out of the services, went passed very slowly, then turned their little tngies on and stoped me
to be fair, he was very appologetic about giving me the ticket
everyone else is banned
stu, you should have made out that the car was overheating and you were going totop up the water if he was bing a twat about it
but i've also been ulled oer by plod on the motorway for not wearing a seatbelt, ironiclly, after i'd stopped at clacket lan services to go fo a piss
they followed me out of the services, went passed very slowly, then turned their little tngies on and stoped me
to be fair, he was very appologetic about giving me the ticket
09-03-2009, 08:13 PM
#34
Not looking for or asking for any mate. £30 in real terms is a piss in the ocean (excuse the pun) and and I don't give a shit about that - I thought it was a funny situation and thought I'd share it. And you and Si B both need to take a chill pill and relax.
Last edited by Mr S1; 09-03-2009 at 08:24 PM.
09-03-2009, 08:51 PM
#39
Perish the thought - never gone more than 70, never done more than 30 in a built up area, never used their mobile or sparked up a fag whilst driving as it would divert their attention from the road...........shucks no........something that could be really dangerous and hurt people, like having a piss on the hard shoulder can.......
Last edited by Mr S1; 09-03-2009 at 08:52 PM.
09-03-2009, 08:52 PM
#40
14000+ post superhero
tbh the old "where have you been this evening?" "ask your wife officer" isnt really that funny in the first place as its that old i believe its written in the old testament.
i committed an offence and i got done for it, what a shocker.you wouldnt have expected that now would you?
i committed an offence and i got done for it, what a shocker.you wouldnt have expected that now would you?
Last edited by fuzzy; 09-03-2009 at 09:04 PM.