As you may have already guessed, I have had a little but of a run in with Leicester Traffic. Been up North for work, coming back and missed the Leicester services and needed a pee. In the outside lane, saw it at the last moment and couldn't get across. Really needed to go, so pulls onto the hard shoulder. Engine running, opened both nearside doors by the verge so at least I was covered, stand in between them and have a pee on the verge. Traffic Volvo pulls up, asks me what's wrong so I said sorry mate, needed a pee and missed the services. First thing he does is checks my tax disc, which is fine as is the rest of my car as anyone who knows me will verify - I'm very anal about making sure everything is right. Get asked if I have my licence on me (which I did) so handed that over and then get asked to get in the back of the Volvo. He runs a PNC check, all clear. Then the cunt starts
'Stopping on the hard shoulder is a serious offence' - I look at him in disbelief, but say nothing and then he says 'it's a £30 fine, but no points'. Again, I said nothing but I'm fuming inside. He writes out the ticket.
Traffic Police '1' - Mr S1 '0'
I sit there, thinking 'you no good dirty shit cunt arsehole jobsworth wanker' but again say nothing. No point is there ? The he says to me 'youre a way from home where have you been' ? I say I've been seeing a friend locally, and he starts asking how I know people up there. I tell him she's a 'friend' I've been seeing for a while but she's married. I could tell by the look on his face he wasn't impressed, and he asked me what her husband would say if he found out. I sat there, smiled inwardly and thought 'gotcha'
so i told him her old man was a traffic copper in the Leicester Police Force and spent alot of time patrolling the M1
Traffic Police '1' - Mr S1 '1'
He then asked me if I thought I was funny, so I told him he asked and if he didn't want to know then he shouldn't have. He said it was best if I got out the car then, but first tells me he wants me to proceed up to 50 on the hard shoulder and then indicate and pull out. Wanker.
OK, I got saddled with the £30 but it's worth every penny to get one over on the smug bastard. So, Mr 'Jobsworth Cunt' Leicester Traffic copper, you can kiss my swingers arsehole and I hope someone is roaring up your Mrs when you're on nights
