perhaps he should sack his moody secretary

 

@ this ending up about Dave's secretary's moods or not, even for passionford thats a hell of a tangent

 

perhaps his secretary should be interested in her job and should be sat there flicking through the emerald manual not flicking through womens weekly and the argos catalogue

 

Leoni does not sit flicking through catalogues, neither does kim for that matter.
She is employed by Dave/Karl and responds when asked.
I can tell you a certain VERY well known tuner on here, who phoned repeatedly for nearly three weeks tying up Dave, despite the fact that he(person) advertises set ups mapping etc on Emerald.
Emerald has stopped taking bookings over 3 months in advance as there is simply too much work, there are loads of people waiting for a cancellation, he actually operates a list, can't comment on how easy to use, as I don't know, but have never know him to be arsey, have known him stay till 2/3am though after starting at 8am the previous day top help racers out who need mapping urgently, he has a lot of work comes from abroad, last week a guy drove all the way from France just to pick up a ecu, there is even a 2 week wait to get a base map installed, and they just can't get things done recently, as business has exploded, in less than 1 month he has doubled his staff, and still needs more!!.
Karl is the guy to talk to, if you can't get Dave, BUT he will NOT answer calls when working, so that he makes no mistakes, he has recently added LC, Turbo Timer to K3 spec as well as all the other stuff.
Although I know Dave, I have to wait, and a few weeks ago I gave up a "spot" for a overrun on a car that caught fire when the(NEW) fuel rail hose split burnt the loom, but rather than leave the guy in the shit and say come back when fixed, they dave/karl stayed until 11pm, made a new loom complete, and successfully mapped the duratec(2L) to 277bhp@9300rpm, on tb's.
Dave has dedication to the job, and does next to nothing else on the rollers apart from mapping his ecu's so that his customers come first.
He starts at 9 am, normally till 1pm, then again at 2 pm till finish.
It is likely that any "attitude" was a misunderstanding, the amount of "pro" jobs he gets in there with basic faults is beyond beleif.
I am sure anyone paying Ł275 for a mapping session would be very impressed if he left every 5 minutes to answer a call, sorry, but they have PAID for his time, they get it, as the customer is his no1 concern, he would soon forget where he was if he had to keep restarting and increase the possibility of a mistake.
Most of his ecu's are sold through dealers, to whom any queries should first be directed.
Chip if you pm me, I will be more than happy to get you an answer.
tabetha

 

do you know if he is seriously looking to recruit Tabetha?

 

even if he isnt, still ask Nick

 

Do it nick!

 

No, I dont like to bother Bill..... he's usually on the toilet shitting gold bars... or thats what his secretary told me last time I called.


But I do ring Support Desks for the products I've bought, in the same way if someone buys something from me I expect them to call me if they have a problem with it rather than ask on a forum.


Tony, I am sure you'd be the first to whinge if someone had brought their car to you, then had a problem with it and taken it elsewhere to be sorted rather than call you.

 

Most people who buy Emerald ECU's take advantage of the fee that Emerald charge for mapping and get them to map it, so its done correctly.

And most people, once their car has been mapped rarely, if ever touch it again, unless they make changes to the engine spec.

SO.... most people would not encounter the 'problems' the Chipmiester has raised.

 

Neil,

what exactly is your problem? Chip has asked a decent question

 

he doesn't like chip ? lol

 

No mate, I'm not a dealer, I run an Omex myself.

But I am a supplier of products and one thing that really fooks me off is this culture of asking people on forums rather than the suppliers themselves.

This gives rise to two things, first of all a perception that there is a problem with something when there might not be, it could just be down to the numpty at the end of the spanner/keyboard and unfortunately you see very few posts on forums going 'You know I said this.. well I was a complete cock and I was wrong I wish to appologise'

And secondly it gives every Tom Dick and Harry who may have had or heard on the grape vine of others with issues the opportunity to come onto the post and slag off said supplier.

Its even worse if the supplier doesnt use the forum in question as they have no opportunity to reply with the correct answer or the actual chain of events.


I once found we got slagged on a Morris Minor forum and we dont even use that forum or supply parts for Morris Minors but because our name got mentioned for a custom propshaft someone with a small penis from scotland decided it was an opportunity to slag us and it did cost me some business.

 

Glad its not just me who sees it that way, I really cannot see what Neil is upset about.

In fact I cant even see anything in this thread that Ive put which would even upset someone who owns shares in emerald as a company TBH, ive not slagged it off or told people not to buy them, in fact on the contary ive mapped a few cars on them and fundamentally I quite like the ECU itself and have even referred to it in this thread as good value.
I would just like to know if there are any mapping tips from people specifically used to this software which can help me achieve the same results that Ive got here, only more efficiently in terms of my time and people who's car i map's fuel.

Im not a customer of Dave's ive never spent a penny with him, and I quite probably never will do, and effectively me mapping cars for people is taking away business from him potentially, so I certainly dont think it would be fair to take up his time asking him for hints and tips on the phone when he is busy at work!

 

 

I love Chip... not in the full biblical sense obviously.

BUT after meeting him and realising he is a bright fella I would have just credited him with the intelligence to call the supplier and get the right answer rather than ask a load of people who either may or may not have known the answer.

Plus it gives Chip the attention he craves.. now Phil isnt giving it to him

 

NeilM, what you should be crediting me with is NOT wasting Dave's time expecting free mapping lessons from him on a product ive not even purchased surely?

And I love you too honey

 

your case is well argue'd, so it is up to the pf jury to decide if you are or aren't builty of the following:

anti-chip
anti-emerald
anti-ford
anti-pf
anti-secretary
anti-persperant
anti-inflamatory
anti-some other charge people will make up just to get their name into this thread without adding anything of any practical use to the debate

personally, while i thin the points you raise are vaild, i think you have wandered off on a slight tanget to what chip is asking

it's like asking for help with some microsoft office product on here and being told to ask the microsoft helpdesk
you will get an "official" answer from the helpdesk, but it may be a lengthy phone call where you will tell them what you need to know
or you ask here, where someone will probably answer the question in 5 milliseconds

 

Dojj, I think that everyone has something they can bring to this thread, but in your case, I think it should be silence.

 

i will be writing him a letter with my CV

 

 

so what neilm is saying, is that the forum should be closed as it could halm somones business if somone asks the wrong question? so in that case people should not be allowed to talk incase the same happens?

 

Essentially yes.

If you have a question about your car, ask ford, if you have a question about your turbo ask garrett, if you have a question about tyres ask yokohama anything else is just hearsay

 

for all
other queries ask passionford

 

Did some mapping on an S8 today (SECS) and guess what, the grid edit is live, ah, perfection, why cant all ecu's be that good, LOL

 

what id you slip on the keyboard and type something you didnt intend to whilst doing 100mph flat out?

 

Jim, its done by plus and minus keys, so you would have to hit one of them half a dozen times in a row "by accident" for it to be a problem

 

Are you advising everyone to get an S8 this will be a task

 

LOL

Sadly, this product has customer service support that's harder to get hold of than naked photo's of the queen, but at least in the unlikely event someone actually has one, its a joy to map.

 

Thanks for the kind words, nice to know I got at least one thing right... LOL

With respect Tony... Fuck you

 

It would be a task the truth is so painful

 

please dont let this post descend into a SECS ribbing. Its bad enough with NeilM and Dojj

 

Simon, you really have developed something worth having there, its a fucking shame you wont pull your finger out your arse and fucking do something with it!

People are now starting to adapt mega squirt as a plug and play solutions for various makes of cars, and you could have been years ahead of them, hell I even offered to pay in advance for a load with vauxhall plugs on them years ago when I was speaking to you, its a shame that are so good at developing and so shite at productionising!

Gone past the point its worth bothering with now I guess, it will always be a "what could have been" IMHO

 

Hang on, which bit have i missed?

At the start it seemed like some1 asked for a "quick key" or quick method. Then all this.

Back on topic? Is there a quick method for that ECU?

Also chip you said he'd changed cams so you changed the fueling? What about the ignition timing?

 

oh fucking hell,, best line ive read on a forum for years PMSL PMSL PMSL

 

wow weird thread.. it started with a serious question has since bankrupted down a tuner and resulted in a compliment being paid to Simon.

All we need is Phil coming in and saying something constructive and it will be really bizzare

 

Although the cams would have course of increased the VE at the top end (proved by the leaness we found there) and hence reduced the acceptable timing, I could find no evidence of det anyway, I think that the map he had must have been pretty conservative in this respect already.

So because of the issues with the software and my lack of happiness with mapping it well enough to do the ignition timing in the fashion I wanted to, I refused to do the timing at all and simply "det checked" it for him instead, however this of course means I cannot tell him if currently his timing is 1 degree from det or 3 degrees from det or 10 degrees from det, I simply know its not 0 degrees from det.
Consequently to be "perfect" IMHO it needs to go on the rollers, or I need a lot more time to do it, as its not that I cant do it on that software, merely that I couldnt in the time available to me on this occasion, and TBH I was hoping there was an option to do the timing the way I want to, so I can change multiple values simply and quickly, hence this post in the first place.

 

ctrl+p then enter, is it really that hard?

i do agree that it is a ballache to do without a mouse etc. i didn't get on with it very well myself. the UI could probably do with a bit of tweaking and made more keyboard friendly

 

I did an ECU like that. VEM's i think it was, took me an age to do the timing map writing in all the numbers.

 

ctrl+p, both at once!
Why the fuck when you are doing 120mph (at brunters not on the M5 that would be naughty) do I need to press TWO fucking keys, to perform ONE function, seriously, what was he smoking when he dedided that made sense? Why not just hit function key 1 or similar?
Then you press enter to confirm that you have accidently pressed two fucking keys at once (as if you are EVER going to accidently press the ctrl key down and hold it then press P, im mean seriously WTF?) then you press enter then you have to wait AGES (trust me it IS ages if you are in the middle of getting det at 6000rpm at 2 bar of boost etc!) for the update to happen to the entire map, rather than just do the 1 cell that has changed (which the ECU already CAN do as it does it in live update mode) then you press enter again to say you accept its done the thing you pressed 2 keys to ask it to do then hit enter to confirm you wanted it to do.

Seriously, I design software for a living, and that fucking sucks, its just a totally shocking GUI he has clearly not got a clue what he is doing at this side of things, its just not anywhere near as useable a tool as it could SO easily be!

All it needs is a toggle for "live update / offline update" that when selected (by pressing 47 keys at once and confirming eleventy seven times with the enter key if he insists) that it then turns to live update mode (and if he wants just to be safe it could turn the entire map bright pink so you know that you are in LIVE mode) and any change you make happens instantly.

If you arent confident about doing it in that mode, you dont go through whatever obscenely complicated process he puts in place to put you into live edit mode and leave it as it is, but if you DO feel you can actually be trusted to type the correct things in, like you do with all the other ecu's you map, then it lets you do so.

Hardly rocket science really?

Its literally only a dozen lines of code and would turn his front end from something that is a PITA to use to something far simpler.


There we go, thats the rant NeilM has already told me off for having, so I figured I may as well do the crime as Id already done the time

 

If that happens I'll eat my own head