vx220

i've just been talking to my uncle, who lives up north, about 300 miles away, and it turns out we both know someone who has the nickname "two sheds"...

could we start a list of similar nicknames please?

so far i have...

two sheds jackson

two sheds cornwell

and one day ellis (was apparently married for one day)

any more? and the reasons (if not blatantly obvious )

Stavros

Best one easily is Rich off here...
PON "Poor Old Nathan"- A SUPERB story behind that one

Twitchin Twinny was one of two identical twin girls which had a really bad but comedy twitch when we was at school.

Umm, most people I know have nicknames, but not really longer ones, usually just one word.

Big G

Barking Sam - Some old dude called Sam, he had Tourrettes and used to make barking and squeeling sounds while walking down the street, he used to get worse when he got excited, and as he was well into his horses it was a good excuse to go to the bookies with him and hear him go bananas when his donkey was coming in

vx220

at school we had "swivel head ted" who was a bloke with a twitch which made his whole head swivel and he had a big quiff like a teddy boy (50's style)

still see him about sometimes, and makes me think how cruel kids can be

keep them coming!

Stavros

Not a nickname for him as such, but someones own name became a nickname for other people for a while back in the day
Was this kid Johnny Mare who had a really really big head, so for ages anyone with a big head was named Johnny Mare too

Was a guy back in the boyracer days everyone called Jonny J-reg. No reason barring he drove a J-reg car

Mate of mine is this massive black geezer ive only ever known as TinTin. Everyone calls it him, he even has it as his belt buckle. Absolutley NO IDEA why, but as its prob so obvious ive never asked him

One Hair is this tramp guy round here with one MASSIVE dreadlock, ie his hair is just one huge piece, like a massive beaver tail

Soul Train was this shortass geezer that looks like weeman off jackass who used to always be out in the clubs dancing like his life depended on it

BigUns was this kid who we hid 100s of his DADS porno mags called BigUns all over his room JUST before his devout Catholic mum was gonna go in n clean it. She found em as we planned, went absolutley insane, and we laughed, a lot.
He used to be called puddles after i made him wet himself laughing in a yr8 history lesson, so if anything the BigUns name was a let off

Scabby National was this kid we went to school with who had really bad excema (named after the bank of a similar name, was genius, cruel, but genius )

Zammo is the nickname of this skaghead twat we all know and hate, after Zammo of GrangeHill who died smacked off his tits on the bogs one episode

Think of hundreds others, but they less strange. Im sure there tons more wierder ones too, but im just saying em as i remember em, and thas it for now.

CraigoScott

iTrader: (1)

had a guy at school called bean head, just cos his head was bean shaped,

his best mate was called kiwi cone head, cos he had a greek last name, and had a cone shaped head, oh the joy!

they still get called them now as well :P

Turbocabbie

Micky Finn as in the DJ got his name because he was exceptionally slim.

aka Micky Thin his sister gave him the name

neilrev

used to work with a bloke who'd had some sort of brain surgery and had a big vertical scar down the back of his head with dots either side where the stitches had been, it looked like a big zip, we used to call him pyjama case head!

Fiddy

my younger brothers knows a lad who everyone refers to as hard hat, i have no clue why though

vx220

used to know a guy called greg, bought a G-reg escort (brand new), and g-reg is still his name now!

_DAN_

Bloke round here used to have a snake and is still referred to as Hissing Sid.

Terry Tibbs

Erm..

Only TinTin at work, he looks identical to TinTin and has had his hair cut like it for the last 35odd years

truthordare

I was at school with a real big fat girl, and I used to call her you lot ashamed of it now but was funny as hell at the time.

Debs

gus

iTrader: (1)

just said that to the misses and she says she knows swivel head ted


small world a

gus

iTrader: (1)

i work with a fella we all call 'clean hands'



everytime something goes wrong he says he was no where it and knows nothing about it

XR-RS

at my old workplace one of the gaffers had legs that were all buckled to fuck for some reason, when he walked his feet pointed inwards at a 45 degree angle.

we were skiving one day and one of the lads looked out the window, turned back and said 'quick scarper...........heres snow plough !!!'

still cracks me up now

fish99

Got a few at work although the PC brigade try to stop us as they say its bullying.

Flipflop... dave sandall
Silas......Sorry im late again sarg
Bongo....Books on and never goes out
BAD......Big and daft
Elsie.... really LC for Lazy C*nt
John the Hat..... always wears a hat because he is ginger

smitsturbo

we have an old guy in the pub called 'tapping tom' just cos he's always askin for money

or we sometimes call my mate 'sexy fingers' cos when he's doing the cars he fucks it so everything he touches he fucks

theres this nice chick here aswell called '10 to 2' cos when she was little she was cross eyed, not any more like but she still has the name

vx220

she didn't go to fryerns did she?

Stu.H

BigMouthBillyBass

There used to be a bloke who went in the rugby club with my dad called "Cairo Dick"

mainly because he was egyptian, and called Richard. He used to de-code car steroes too if i remember rightly

big_wig_074

we had a guy at school called onion,cos his head looked like one,so when his younger bro came to school he was called sage!!

a guy at work we called sibrows cos his name was simon and he had a nervous twitch in his eyebrows!

loads more but its too late to start thinking hard!lol

Thrush

iTrader: (1)

Guy called Neil at work, referred to as SCRUNCH, mainly cos he scrunches his face up a lot of the time

Another guy, whose surname is Halfhide. Course this is changed to any other word with half in front of it. Halfass, halfinch, halfcock, halfwit, etc. Of late he has been under the psudonym of HALFHAND after an accident at work last year where he cut his palm open with a knife....

Me, Thrush, obviously cos I am an irritating cunt

Another guy at work, Ryan, known as PIPEX, cos of his David Hassellhoff style haircut

And lastly ANOTHER work collegue, whose name is Marlon. Is known as John. Mainly cos he spends all day walking round saying "Wapp'un Jaaaarhn", so John became his name....

Oh and we have an indian guy working for us whose name is Minesh, tho for some reason he swears blind his name is Jack

S2martin

in work we have a few,

yellow belly as he is a black fella who looks like he has jaundice (spl)

toenails, as he is so far up the boss's arse all you can see are his toenails

tesco, as all the fella wears are tesco bomber trainers (cheapo ones )

bullshit, erm explains itself i think

360, as when it the xbox 360 come out it was a sell out much like he was/is

a few drivers who work for the same lorry firm are groups as so and so from hungry haulage as they always want the exact amount on there lorry no less

shitcunts, pretty much anyone who works in any other department of our firm

cozzfather

iTrader: (1)

i know a high ranking cop called SASO
thats short for saturday and sunday off

and a engine tuner/ rally driver round our way is affectionately called
one lap, its stating the obvious explaning that one

c0ss1e9i6

I knew a bloke called "NOSMO" cause his second name is King.

And somebody called "THE STORK", he is 6ft 8ins.

I'm called "FRANK" cause my second name is Spencer.

"MEGASWAD" is one of my favourites, from a colleague with a gargantuan noggin.

smitsturbo

used to work with an indian called ashise gulleria but we called him hasheesh gonareah...cos nobody knew how to say his name...or spell it

smitsturbo

also know an old guy called spider cos rumour has it he used to burgle places when he was younger & he would be fast as fuck up a drain pipe

slim20012

as a kid i was named pudding cos i would answer the door to my mates and normally be eating rice pudding.

Now im all grown up they all call me slim

used to known some one called gayboy never did ask how he got that name

have a mate called frog i dont know why some else called jarhead which speaks for it self

also know someone everyone calls cosie pete cos he owns a cosworth even though as far as i know he the only person we know called pete but so why he got the name i dont know

Fudgey

iTrader: (4)

in my old work, my nickname ws 'smash' as i used to keep crashing all my cars lol

now people just call me a cunt!

i got loads, but they aint that funny really

ossie cossie

back when i used to work in the coal mines (as a sparkie) we had lots of knick names for people here are a few.

there was a guy called TOPLIP cos his name was philpot(backwards) he was a huge, a blacksmith, when it closed down he went and joined the SAS, he was in the falklands during the argie war.

others include,
DAI BUNGALOW cos he had fuck all upstairs,
DAI LAMPOST cos there was a lampost ontside his house,
DAI SUGAR he was diabetic,
GERMAN cos his hair cut was like the WW2 german helmet,
BUBBLES he was always coming to the surface,
SABOO dont know why maybe cos he was fat,
TREVOR PASTIE dont know why i was to afraid to ask,
THE WHITE WOG he was half cast i think,
POTTED PLANT because he was as much use as one,
MOTHER cos he used to fuss a lot,
FATHER cos he was the oldest man working there,
PHIL ONE ARM cos at any given time you could only see one of his arms,
OGGS his name was morgan,
TOM CEM WALL i dont know the origin of this but i think it was he screwed a girl once against the cemetry wall,
BUDOOP BUDOOP because he was once run over by a car,
KEITH THE THIEF nothing was too hot or too heavy,
MUMBLES cos you coud not understand a word he said,
SMALL PARTS cos he was give a couple of small parts in various tv programmes,
DOBBIN cos he was said to have a cock like a hourse,
LEWIS LEWIS this was his real name,

and i was called TONY TWO SPEED slow and stop,
my uncle was called TWIN cos his name was tony as well,
there are lots more but i cant remember them at the moment i will add them as they spring to mind, it was a ling time ago.
some of my mates BOMPER, SCOFFER, KEKE, CHICKO, KNOB NECKER, BASHER, DUMMY, FLAPPER, TELOR, SLUG, these are only a few i could go on for ages.

gus

iTrader: (1)

no she went woodlands but said swivel head ted is as well known in basildon as disco dave and john the midget

vx220

i think i've seen john the midget.

i managed to call an entire store of about 80 staff "dave" when i first went to work there. so many new faces, so many cultures (greenwich) and i just called every single one of them dave, even the ladies. it worked as well!

gus

iTrader: (1)

john the midget use to be the bottle boy in raquels all them moons ago


disco dave use tto rule the dance floor in there too



think he has no hung up his dancing shoes now thou