I'm sitting here broken hearted, a grown man of 32 years in age. Everything I heald dear and the path that I beleived in and was assured I would follow has been snatched away leaving me feeling an empty shell of the man I was. As I sit here typing I cry, no, I sob. My heart lays shattered and battered.

My partner of 10 years has left me, she says she no longer feels about me the way she did. In Janruary we got engaged and I was the happiest man alive. Now I've lost her. She wants me to be angry, I can't be. She wants to shout, I can't at her. She wants me to hate her, I can't. I love her and I can't stop doing so. I can't hate the woman I love so much.

Yesterday I attended her sisters wedding and thought things were great. I even spoke to friends and said the day had only confirmed that I wanted to be married more than ever.

Fate it seems has its own ideas.

Why can love give so much yet take away much more? If we didn't love, we couldn't lose and feel such pain.

I'm sorry for my ramblings, I needed to get things off my chest and I just feel so unable to articulate how I'm feeling the forumn felt like my outlet.

Thank you

Steve

 

i dont know ya but i remember your post about getting married,chin up me man,she might just need some time and she might relise she's made a mistake,bit of a shitter that though me man.

 

Bloodyhell Steve, that,s harsh mate, feel for ya i really do....

 

Wow, I really don't know what to say to that mate. All I can say is that I've loved before and it was the best feeling in the world but I still can't understand how something so great and so amazing can turn your whole world upside down and bring so much misery and pain at the same time. I've been through it and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Being with someone for that period of time though I can't comprehend why your partner would want to call it a day now. It must have been on her mind for some time. Leave it for a few days to get your thoughts together then meet with her and let your feelings out and find out the reason why she feels the way she does. You cannot force her into loving you unfortunately mate if she doesn't any more or not as much as she first did. Hang in there.

 

She might just be confused.

 

Hows the escort coming along?

 

Really sorry to hear it, did she give you a reason for it? Maybe she has just had a really bad irrational thought and acted on instinct.

I presume that things have been fine previous to this? really dont know what to say tbh......

Sarah

 

Samuel Butler

"It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

and Socrates

"The hottest love has the coldest end."

To sum up... Women are mysterious creatures and how they operate as men we will never truly understand.

Fate does indeed work in mysterious ways and you could meet the woman of your dreams tomorrow. I did. I thought I was madly in love with a girlfriend a few years back... She fucked me off... I've found my special someone now though and I wouldn't change the heart ache I went through to get to where I am today

Chin up cocker!

 

Really feel for you, l remember you mentioning you got engaged i hope it all works out

Mike

 

 

keep your chin up mate, you cant make someone have feeling for you no matter what you do. you have to get over it and move on no matter how hard it may be.

 

Wedding looming would of added a load of pressure, definitely give it some time on all fronts then go from there.Times are so fickle right now small things have huge bearings so just leave it be, fragmented as you feel at the moment. She probably needs to hear/see the right things and as said went on instinct out the blue...all the best either way mate. Really harsh, chin up.

 

Right now I would cheerfully crush it to have my Rachel back.

Apparently she decided to leave me about a month ago but didn't want to spoil the wedding as I was an Usher and we share so many friends.

I feel stupid, hurt and empty. Her parents knew and yet let nothing on. I don't hate them for this or feel any ill feeling towards them at all. They were looking after their daughter as best they saw fit.

You can't force somebody to love you no matter how hard you try. I can only hope that she will allow us the chance to respark what we had and make things work. If she doesn't I just don't know what I will do. I can't see my life without her. She completes me and has made me a better person than I ever was on my own.

 

epic

chin up man, she might just need a little time!

 

Harsh. Still a lot of people divorce quicker.

Thought this post was about the car.

 

the only thing that i can say is after 10 years, people do change, and unfortunately sometimes relationships go stale, leaving one of you unhappy and the other one heartbroken. I really hope you manage to patch things up, Time is a great healer although its probably the last thing yo want to hear.

Sarah

 

 

This is odd as l have often woundered what makes these types of things happen... by that l mean we all change as people and sometimes not in the same direction but do we natrually relax and rest on our laurels abit and not keep that same spark and laughter that exsisted when the relationship started, it must be a natrual concern for must people in a relationship as you can not see it coming.

Mike

 

you can have my missus if you want, shes an arse but im going no where until the kids are a bit older.

 

sorry to hear this Steve.

 

I can relate to what you've being put through here mate although my ex wasn't with me for that long a period but it still hit me hard. She just broke it off with me after a while after saying she didn't feel the same and thought it was best for both of us. She was unhappy about it but wanted it to be that way. She left me distraught, heartbroken and a shell of my former self for a while. She wouldn't even give me the opportunity to meet with her after a while she was happy speaking but no more. It still gets to me now when I think of what I had and how much I loved her and still beat myself up over it about how it was somehow my fault.

I'm still here though mate, I've had a shit year, been through all sorts of crap, and to top it all off fallen out with a good friend when I was smashed out my face. I gave myself a bit of thinking time and slowly picked myself back up and starting to become OK again. I get bouts of depression from time to time also. Keep your mates close to you but also give yourself some time and space away from things. Try to get a good balance of keeping close with your mates and giving yourself some of your own time alone.

Chin up mate.

 

Steve, I'm genuinely sorry for you. I hope that if there is any chance, the two of you can try work things out, but if not just take it day by day and it'll hurt less in time. Chin up fella.




Legend.

 

really sorry to hear this matey.

hopefully she just needs some space, you obviously love her alot, I hope it works out for you buddy

 

Feelin your pain Steve
hope things can be worked out for the better m8

 

Is a horrible thing to happen, ive been there to after being with someone a long time and altho it doesnt really help its something that happens to most of us in our lifetime.One thing tho, do you have any children together? I have a young son with my ex partner and seeing her twice a week when i get him never gets any easier...

 

pure pisser mate

ive known it, evil shit, if you aint got work i'd get some green, puts off the giving a fuck for a while



one time i got anoter chick and was pretty cool pretty quick, another time i was just shit

find a hoe bag i think its the quickest way to get you head straigh

giving her the everything will just push her further, keep a low profile, she may start missing you

 

sorry to here this mate

thanks steven..

 

They say it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all and I disagree, completely. To love and lose, means you end up exactly were the person who has never loved is, but with added heart break and pain. He's not been there, so he doesn't know what he's missing, unlike you, the person who has loved and lost.

Anyway, I wish you all the best, and I hope she realises what she is missing.

Benni.

 

it is a long time together to loose, no point any of us sayong snap out of it, do what you have to do, drink and smoke what you have to, but make sure you get to work ontime and pay all your bills, rely on your friends as you will now need them more than ever, treat yourself to a new toy, just do what you have to do but carefully, certainly dont hassle her or keep calling texting her, leave it alone, it will shock her and make her wonder why, reverse pshycology often works in these cercumstance, make a plan and stick to it she may come back, if she wants you to shout and be angry do it, your a man not a mouse, maybe thats what she wants of you, deep down all women need a certain degree of it

 

Gutted mate you never know she may come back

 

999, Is spot on. Reverse pshycology is the key. I know how hard that will be for you, as the moment she realises you aren't so worried, she may be around you, but keep it going as Woman can easily turn it back around. These things take time.

Benni.

 

gutted for you mate.chin up

 

But then he wouldn't have had the 10 good years fella..........

 

Absolute wounder mate, horrible feeling to have it happen with no warning but havin bin in a similar situation a few years back (though nothin lke as long as a 10 year relationship) i can imagine how you're feelin. Horrible bein helpless but little you can do except give it time and see if she has a change of heart. Try and throw yourself into your car or somethin and keep busy

 

me and my missus were together 11 years....then split for 5 then back together for 4 and counting...who knows whatll happen next. youve just got to go with the flow.

 

Really sorry to hear this. I remember thinking you were a really happy couple from stuff you have said on here. Life can be brutal honey, you WILL feel better, it wont happen over night but in time you will feel much better than you do today just try and keep that thought in mind when you are feeling in despair and gain some comfort from it.

As others have said, play it cool and let her crack on. She may just need some space. We all need space from time to time and i certainley re evaluate my life regularly and change things that aren't working for me, but not every one is like that and sometimes people let things slide and carry on for a quiet life. I really think she needs some space right now so give her the space she needs.

I think she wants you to be angry at her and shout as it will make her feel better about her decision. As she will be feeling pretty guilty for hurting you right now and if your angry it makes things easier on her. Either that or she is after some kind of response from you to clarify that she is definately doing the right thing......

As said earlier men do find women complicated and i must admit we do make life harder than it has to be..........

I hope things work out for you buddy, i'm glad you have managed to talk about it here xx

 

al pacino in heat: "never get attached to something or someone so much that you cant walk away from them in ten seconds flat"

thats the way to live i reckon, women are headwrecking shit.

def play the reverse pshycology game, be a man about it.
and reading your first post you should def go into the love poetry buisness, that is some deep stuff!

 

Thanks for the kind words.

Right now my head is a total mess and I simply can't think straight. I don't know what I'm going to do from one moment to the next.

One minute I'm so calm it scares me and then next I'm having thoughts that would only cause pain to those that I love and love. I've gone over things in my mind so many times and I've cried so much today I just don't have any tears left to cry.

The numbness I'm feeling seems there only to try and protect me from what has happened.

Thank you all once more for your words, some even raised a smile of sorts.

 

Get smashed for a few nights in a row (safely of course ) then as has been said try and move on and have fun. You wont feel like it but it will do you good to keep busy and go out with mates etc rather than sitting in miserable mulling it over and asking questions only she can answer but probably wont!!

Oh and ignore the suicide shit it your head. Shes not worth it and you WILL feel better eventually.

 

Sorry to hear whats happened to you Steve, been through very similar myself.

Chin up.

Paul