Originally Posted by
Oranoco
Right now I would cheerfully crush it to have my Rachel back.
Apparently she decided to leave me about a month ago but didn't want to spoil the wedding as I was an Usher and we share so many friends.
I feel stupid, hurt and empty. Her parents knew and yet let nothing on. I don't hate them for this or feel any ill feeling towards them at all. They were looking after their daughter as best they saw fit.
You can't force somebody to love you no matter how hard you try. I can only hope that she will allow us the chance to respark what we had and make things work. If she doesn't I just don't know what I will do. I can't see my life without her. She completes me and has made me a better person than I ever was on my own.
I can relate to what you've being put through here mate although my ex wasn't with me for that long a period but it still hit me hard. She just broke it off with me after a while after saying she didn't feel the same and thought it was best for both of us. She was unhappy about it but wanted it to be that way. She left me distraught, heartbroken and a shell of my former self for a while. She wouldn't even give me the opportunity to meet with her after a while she was happy speaking but no more. It still gets to me now when I think of what I had and how much I loved her and still beat myself up over it about how it was somehow my fault.
I'm still here though mate, I've had a shit year, been through all sorts of crap, and to top it all off fallen out with a good friend when I was smashed out my face. I gave myself a bit of thinking time and slowly picked myself back up and starting to become OK again. I get bouts of depression from time to time also. Keep your mates close to you but also give yourself some time and space away from things. Try to get a good balance of keeping close with your mates and giving yourself some of your own time alone.
Chin up mate.