Right now I would cheerfully crush it to have my Rachel back.

Apparently she decided to leave me about a month ago but didn't want to spoil the wedding as I was an Usher and we share so many friends.

I feel stupid, hurt and empty. Her parents knew and yet let nothing on. I don't hate them for this or feel any ill feeling towards them at all. They were looking after their daughter as best they saw fit.

You can't force somebody to love you no matter how hard you try. I can only hope that she will allow us the chance to respark what we had and make things work. If she doesn't I just don't know what I will do. I can't see my life without her. She completes me and has made me a better person than I ever was on my own.