Agggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Right, we have a 5 yr old girl. She is one of the top of her class in reception at school, and is in general polite and well behaved.

At school recently she has been doing "silly" things and getting told off, Eg Ripped up a display letter (alphabet on the display board) which was at the same time teacher was telling kids about looking after things etc, Pushing children in playground, pulling hair etc. Nothing bad but the teacher keeps mentioning it to "stop things progressing".

Have done the no treats or snacks after tea once home, no tv etc..

This week we have been pulled aside and told she has poured Glue in another girls hair.... Went mad and give her a good telling off, straight to bed and no TV for a week. She cried herself to sleep (around 2 hrs!!) and thought good she is realising the consequences.

Today she has Bit another girl.... Was sent to the headmasters which supposedly scared her witless, yet when the childminder picked her up after school and went home with her, she tried to bite her little boy ten minutes later!!! Why did she do it??/ "Dont know, they were annoying me"

In bed again, took her DVDs, Showed her the 12ft paddling pool i had just cunting filled up today and said it is going down and made a point o telling her our friends are coming tonight who she loves and that she cant stay up for a "Gemma night". She is now hysterical in bed. Tommorrow im thinking she can stay in her room till dinner so she realises things are not forgoten the next day....

Doing my head in as you speak to her and she really doesnt seem to give a shit and just says "dont know" to any question. Missis just screams at her till she is blue in the face which gets her nowhere, but shes a numbty and wont listen if i tell her so she can carry on lol.

Before she turns into a devil child, any parents any ideas other give her a good hiding lol.


PS............ Can this method work on the missis when she is tosser?????.

And Breathhhhhhhh

 

Well at least youre trying mate... cant see what else you can do really?

although in my day if i bit someone my parents would probably have bitten me to see how liked it!! lol

 

I'm not a parent but it sounds to me like she's seeking attention for some reason or she's worried about something and acting up to get attention

 

you know what mate, i really want to, thing is if i mark her, id obviously id get shot and i dont want her to think that if ppl do wrong, you do it back to show them its not nice etc..

I think she will learn, but we need to carry punishments over more than a day religously and not just let her go back into the normal cause of a good day or 2 at school (which we have done in past)

 

mine is 5 and goes to the next class up and is way ahead and has been gettign bossier and recently called a class helper fat, is isnt actually fat? weird

neways we get told hes been bossing/straight with teh other kids

i tell her to straighten up and she always says sorry when pulled up and wrote a nice sorry letter to the 'fat' person

i dont want to make her soft as shit and not able to express herself tho as you are either the boot or the mat huh

neways shes pretty good, if your lil un is playing up
bad i would expect something is doing her nut in, maybe she got told off for something she didnt do or something

give her a box of chocs to share with the class, maybe make everything that may have 'been' pass



imo

 

Thing is, i think it may be bordom with her being quite a bit "futher on" than others. She is 1 of 3 kids who are not onlt reading a book the same as the others but a harder one also. I just dont want to do the whole "My daughter is an angel and it your fault/other kids fault" when they may be more into it. With it being the Childminder picking her up daily we rarely get to see the teacher personally and when we have and she has said things neer no weather she is holding stuff back, ie she has been a proper little shit but she just says she has been "a bit silly"

 

also telling em off doesnt seem to make any difference in the long term, i can use withholding parties and stuff for the short term but not long after that gets forgotten



i think manipulate the system and give basic out the ordinary treats, if you take something in for everyone to share they willl all love it, the kid that brings in treats is a legend

i do similar things at work, every now and then i take a couple of boxes of icecreams in and it buys me a massive amount of slack with those who can may my life easier, for Ł2 now and then its well spent,

 

Yeah the last thing i want is her to not stick up for herself and end up being bullied, but she cant go round cracking skulls... so auckward. She has in the past been told off for something she didnt do and pleaded her innocence to me... to be fair if she has done wrong she always admits when asked and very very rarely does she lie.

Did consider just catching the teacher next week as im on the school run and just finding out more of what she is like in general, the kids she knocks round with etc and see if something stands out

 

That sounds like a good idea to me

 

is it possible she is retaliyating to some thing that has happened at school or else where? maybe another child bullying her at school or in a playground or something?

 

dont know mate, going to have a chat with her tmoz and see. Just need to be careful that she doesnt click that she can blame it on another kid and get away with things. will see ...

 

You need to sort the other half out first, she's copying what adults do, screaming misbehaving etc.
A tanned arse is often the answer, but also put "off" punishements to a time of your choosing, that's what I had to do, just when he thought great we're going swimming etc, he has to stay at home, sounds cruel, but works and what harm does it do.
The first time I had to tap me lad on the legs I cried in the kitchen more than he did, felt so guilty and bad, but for thier own good, just my thoughts, best of luck.
If she is being singled out for praise in the classroom it can also do this, as she feels she can do no wrong, and teacher won't mind etc.
tabetha

 

Does she realise what she's doing is totally unacceptable? Perharps sitting down with her and talking about it calmly and openly may help, flying off the hand and having flaming agruements is not going to sort the problem out. Like above theres more than likely a problem deep down. My miss's has just said that its very likely thats she's been bullied/hurt by another kid and has turned into the bully.

 

Been going through this for 4 years now with my stepson mate

I really feel for you

My motto is kick fuck out the wee cunt

Stepson was a cunt at nursery and has been a bigger cunt at school, will be going into primary 3 after summer.

He has been pulled for everything and nearly every day or other day we were pulled aside by the teacher

Last time was serious about 3/4 months ago where he was kicked out of school at the age of 7 for stabbing a lad in the face with a pencil ..... Why beacuse said lad sat on his seat FFS, I leathered his fucking arse for that, me and the missus were both at work and were given 1 hour to get him collected and away from the school.

Its all been quiet for 2/3 months now at school but still a little bellend at home.

Nasty to say but theres times i could really really fucking harm the little cunt.

Hope to fuck my son doesnt follow in his brothers steps


Seriously, Kids who would have them, if i got a second chance in life i wouldnt have any, just fucking wouldnt


Edit to add, we have tried every route off taking things away, no dinner (that does affect him as he is a greedy fuck) Kept in his room, even stopped him going to his dads at the weekend (he thinks life is better there cos his dad feeds him cheap asda sweets to shut him up)

 

She's being like that because she wants your attention because your not giving her enough. She knows that if she does bad things, she'll get your attention.

My ex's youngest was a terror but its not about punishing them. Thats what they want you to do. They want to get on your nerves to a point where you get angry and when you do, thats what they want.

Take a different approach. Sit her down talk to her and ask her questions about why she did what she did. See what she says and tell her its wrong. Don't keep getting angry at her cos she'll be getting worse every time you do.

Also it comes down to how much time you spend with her and how much you do with her. Cos my ex's kids dad wasn't about she was just out of hand and it took me a few months before i could actually stop her from doing naughty stuff. Eventually, once i started paying more attention to her and doing activities with her (painting pictures, cutting and gluing etc), she mellowed out and became a right angel.

Its down to you, if you keep telling her off, your giving her wants she wants. Number one cause of bad child behavior is strictly down to the parents.

 

Mate some kids aint predictable like others

We have tried every single route with the stepson including pro help and he still choose's the hard life

I hope the little un isnt but some kids are just BAD buggers and NOTHING helps.

 

my little sister is a complete nightmare shes nearly 6, shes very bright and she got bored at school and spoke to teachers and they gave her harder work and this seemed to help as she had more to concentrate on.
also does she go to any after school clubs? i know some are expensive but something like st john ambulance badgers is only a couple a quid each week, they have to work towards different badges and get a uniform, i was in from when i was 6 untill 17. does give you a sence of achievement.
also well done for sticking to the punishments but just make sure her achievements dont go un noticed, even the simple things like sitting still on a chair eating dinner ect tell her well done and thank you for being good, a cuddle and a smile, it will take time but she will relise how much nicer it is when shes not being punished.
Also talk to your partner make sure you areboth on the same page with how to deal with the situation.
Good luck with it all

 

ah the joy of kids try a bit of reverse phycology

 

Bite her and ask how she liked it

 

oh yeah the hair pulling, biting ect. i did it back to my daughter and i felt horrible for it but she stopped it and when she now goes to bite me she looks at me then looks at her arm and stops. i never left a mark on her it was more of the shock that scared her.

 

if u aint a parent dont comment....cos u really dont know how much pressure/stress they can put u through some people have great/easy going kids some have nightmares.....(i'll show our lass this thread)......but i know where ur coming from fella

 

My sons 5 years old and a delight to be around so placid and nice to others it's un true, a real little joy.

My daughters 11and ben a pain in the fuckin arse for 11 years, total oposite to yours though. She's an angel at school and top of her class but at home a right mouthy git and doesnt shut up for a minute, seriously doesnt stop for breath. I understand she has a very inteligent brain and try to keep her ocupied but my god it's wipes me out man.


I know not as many issues as yours kids but thanks for all your posts, makes my life seem so much better

 

Tbh mate,and this may sound a little harsh,but you mentioned that a childminder picks her up from school everyday which suggests to me you both work full time?I think you may find that this is the problem,your probably not doing a lot wrong but she may be getting wound up by other kids saying shit like "your parents don't love you,cos they never get you from school"etc.you know what kids are like,there's plenty on here!!It might be worth you both taking a day off work one day and both turn up to get her,I bet she'll be landed.think about what she's doing,all things that she knows will get attention,YOUR attention!!Some kids paint pictures and make you pretty things but your princess is probably a bit too bright for that and knows by hurting/breaking things she gets the desired effect far quicker.things like biting the child minders kid,perhaps so the child minder would refuse to get her,therefore mummy and daddy or even granny or grandpa would have to come and pick her up then,see where I'm going?The world has changed so much since I was a kid,I used to hate my mother coming to get me from school,couldn't think of anything worse,but nowadays I even see kids being picked up from comp!!!I'd have fucking died if my old girl had turned up in that smoky cortina,ten years after it should have scrapped!!Have a good chat and explain it's unnacceptable to bite anyone,hit teachers etc,kids all need to respect rules/authority but again be able to stand up when they feel it's right to,it's the same in adult life.it'll be nothing major I'm sure and although some punishment is required,I think a really long chat,cuddled up in bed or sofa perhaps will reveal far more.

 

the kiddie is attention seeking and the only way she knows that works is by being naughty.

Shouting and screaming does nothing but gets the parents worked up, then the kiddie crys, then you think she listerned, but she didnt because she dosent understand why mummy and daddy are shouting at her,only that they are.

A calm firm manor spoken clearly so the kiddie understands might help, but it means mom and dad both being united and no one giving in and like Tabetha said, give out the punishment in your own time, when youve had time to think about it and also so she's had time to think about what shes done.

I did a "star chart" for my kids, ie:naughty no star on the chart or one taken away, be good and get one put on, let the kiddie put it on her self, a sence of achievement if you wish, then when she gets to say 7 (7 good days of behavour) treat her, let her choose the treat, give her the option of say 3 that are affordable to mom and dad, this way it dont get silly.

As for the school thing, tell her that (and only if she likes the school) that they wont let her back till she stops being naughty and if she's not carefull she will have to move school and have to make all new friends, tell her that youve been called in by her favorite teacher and this is what youve been told.

BRB
wife needs me.

 

by the way and this is what counts ....i've just carried both my kids upstairs to bed...put them in and kissed them........love that

 

Pete i never knew you had kids.I cant wait to have kids of my own,we are still gonna wait a few years still.

 

Yeah we do both work full time, so maybe that is part of it, she reads her school books regulaly to us and we tkae her to bed and do kisses and cuddles daily etc. Star chart ive thought of doing as not only is it giving her something to work to but its something she can do with us and she can be proud of and show off to mummy and daddy.

Like i said im going to have a chat with her again in the morning and see what can sort out, im actually doing the school run all next week so might treat her if shes good and take her somewhere, although when its not the childminder picking her up, she tends to get in more trouble than normal!!!

 

Theres a "path" you have to steer your kids along as they grow up and most parents manage that,dont automaticaly feel its your fault if something dont work one day, cos it might work the next.

My 2 girls are now 21 and 16 1/2 and by god it wasnt easy by any means.

Just remember matey, Rome wasnt built in a day

 

....yeh fella 2 girls/terrorists........coming up 6 and 4.......it's the best.......but can drain u sooooo much aswell

 

I've got a 6 and 3 year old daughters. The 6 year old can be very strong willed, but she's never out of hand and is always contrite when told off - but kids do anything to seek attention, yet don't always distinguish between good and bad attention.

Your wife shouting, and you imposing harsh penalties are big displays of attention. You're effectively feeding her craving, and you will make it worse.

In my experience when punishment doesn't work, turn it into a reward. Have a big chat and find out what 3 things she really wants, and say she can have those 3 things if she's good at school for 3 weeks.

There's definitely more going on than her being naughty because she's a bad girl. How much time do you spend with her? How often do you do family things together? How much do you praise her for good behaviour?

Finally (and not directed at OP) Anyone who thinks kids can be taught with violence doesn't deserve to have children.

 

spot on mate

 

i couldnt cope with children.i know its wrong but id find it very hard not to leave my hand print on her bum.i get wound up with my nephew and nearly threw him across the living room when he punched me in the nads thinking he was funny.

 

What he said. No if's, no but's.

 

I didn't want to sound a twat mate,hope I didn't.I'm sure this is something she'll grow out of as it seems your really trying and I bet she's a top kid.as parents these days we try so hard to do everything for the kids and often forget about ourselves ,I certainly don't remember my parents generation spending so much time with their kids,pretty sure mine and yours couldn't wait to See the back of us!! It's great your taking an interest and not burying your head in the sand as so many others do,hate those parents whose kids can do no wrong,usually the ones who are little bastards!!!

 

Poor you in a house with 3 females i pitty you lol.Loads of people said they can nacker you out so much.

 

this is why im not having kids

 

I'd say there is an underlying problem, this is why she's behaving like it, not just cos shes a "naughty child" or whatever!

Just gotta try and work out/get out of her what the problem is!

 

...........no that's cos ur mental..................

 

I don't agree, lot's of kids go through stages and there never always a cause of it, it's part of pushing boundries imo, learning etc

Don't always go looking for an underlying issue as there may not be one, physco analysing everything a child does isn't healthy for them or the parent.

If it doesn't work try something else, most kids arent damion no matter how much we think they are.

And if I can only offer one tip that works for me, do not shout, I try to never shout, as said my daughters 11 and sons 5, both of them have only ever heard me shout a couple of times cause we all have done it at some point when returning home from work tired etc but it just isnt worth it, doesnt get you anywhere.

 

i say dont worry about it, your highlighting the fact that shes doing wrong and punishing her which is great but she is only 5, my daughter is nearly 5 and has good weeks and bad weeks ... sounds to me as tho youu expect to much from her, do you remember being 5 or having a bad day at work and doing or sayin something you regret
also having read some comments such as does she realise its totally unacceptable... imean c'mon she's bein a pain in the arse but i think you maybe bein to harsh.
p.s my daughter isnt a shit and often get compliments on how well behaved she is but sometimes like your daughter she plays up