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Somethig All The PF Woman Should Sign?

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Old 05-07-2009, 05:03 PM
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Benni
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Default Somethig All The PF Woman Should Sign?

Please sign,
I, THE UNDERSIGNED, AGREE THAT...

1. In the unlikely event of my not having an orgasm after you’ve drunkenly rolled on top of me and pumped away for five minutes, wheezing like an old man with emphysema, I shall politely fake one.

2. I fully understand that a woman’s main role in any relationship is to take the blame. So when you stub your toe in the bathroom or your football team lose, I agree that - by some complex scientific equation incomprehensible to woman - it will be my fault. Even if I wasn’t there.

3. Whenever my friends and I get together for a girlie chat, I will tell them that you are better hung than a large-balled Himalayan yak.

4. And I will also mention this to YOUR friends. A lot.

5. After sex, I will not expect you to cuddle me for hours till your arm goes dead. Nor will let my hair annoyingly get in your face.

6. I will never, ever give your penis a "cute" nickname.

7. In bed, I will be as keen as mustard to try any novel sexual position you fancy. Especially ones where I do all the work and you just lie there, grinning.

8. After we split up, I will never sleep with any of your friends or colleagues. Or anyone else you have ever met. Or may one day meet. And if men attempt to chat me up, I will solemnly inform them that you have "ruined me for other men".

9. I understand that mechanical objects like cars, computer games, and remote control devices are beyond the comprehension of women. I will only make a fool of myself if I attempt to operate them, so you’re in charge of the lot. Except for the iron and the washing machine, of course.

Signed ____________________________________

Date ______________________________________

Benni.
Old 05-07-2009, 05:08 PM
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Rob..
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FPMSL!!!!!!
Old 05-07-2009, 05:09 PM
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Cragrat
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should be law that
Old 05-07-2009, 05:09 PM
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Very Good!!

What the fuck is an orgasm though?
Old 05-07-2009, 05:11 PM
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quality printing a copy now
Old 05-07-2009, 05:13 PM
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Printing a copy as well. This is going to be a laugh! Lol Either that or my face is going to be smashed.
Old 05-07-2009, 05:16 PM
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life would be great if they signed it
Old 05-07-2009, 05:17 PM
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just took it down stairs and said sign this babe and she launched remote at me
Old 05-07-2009, 05:19 PM
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I've mailed it to my GF and asked her to print it out and bring it home signed.

I gaurantee you all that she signs it, the daft bitch
Old 05-07-2009, 05:24 PM
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Benni
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Originally Posted by saph4be
just took it down stairs and said sign this babe and she launched remote at me
The remote she would never have had in her hand, had she already signed it. It's a vicious circle. I think you are allowed to sign it on her behalf, before she endangers your life anymore.

Benni.
Old 05-07-2009, 05:26 PM
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Sinead needs to read this
Old 05-07-2009, 05:28 PM
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Old 05-07-2009, 05:30 PM
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Benni
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FPMSL!!!!!
Old 05-07-2009, 05:30 PM
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No one signed up then
Old 05-07-2009, 05:31 PM
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Haha you've got her told.
Old 05-07-2009, 05:37 PM
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Originally Posted by doesntbelong
DUDE!!!! What the hell??? Thats some serious Pussy control you have!!!
Old 05-07-2009, 05:40 PM
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Originally Posted by stillbornhq
DUDE!!!! What the hell??? Thats some serious Pussy control you have!!!
Yeh she is VERY well trained!

But seriously she just knows me too well and knows I am very warped. She'll bring it to me signed by Donald Duck or some shit probably.
Old 05-07-2009, 06:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Its Dave
No one signed up then
Nikki is...
Old 05-07-2009, 06:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Benni
Nikki is...
She hasn't shown up yet so maybe I am single now?
Old 05-07-2009, 06:53 PM
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Originally Posted by doesntbelong
She hasn't shown up yet so maybe I am single now?
Lets hope she don't turn up with your mates cum seepin out of her
Old 05-07-2009, 06:54 PM
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Originally Posted by wirralphil
Lets hope she don't turn up with your mates cum seepin out of her
If she does he can come round and clean the hallway floor!!! It's brand new flooring on there!!

Old 05-07-2009, 06:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Its Dave
No one signed up then

I wont be signing anything
Old 05-07-2009, 07:00 PM
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Originally Posted by doesntbelong
If she does he can come round and clean the hallway floor!!! It's brand new flooring on there!!

Old 05-07-2009, 07:03 PM
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dear oh dear oh dear.....
Old 05-07-2009, 07:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Cossie Helen
I wont be signing anything

Worth a try
Old 05-07-2009, 07:12 PM
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QUALITY FELLAS fotfpmsl not that brave tho wanna wake up tomorrow
Old 05-07-2009, 07:17 PM
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LOL at that!
Old 05-07-2009, 07:49 PM
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Benni
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Originally Posted by Cossie Helen
I wont be signing anything
Don't make Dave get nasty. Put your foot down with a firm hand Dave.

Benni.
Old 05-07-2009, 08:10 PM
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Well i showed it to Sinead and she'd sign as long as i'd sign one of hers, with HER RULES on it
Old 05-07-2009, 08:15 PM
  #30  
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my wifes looking over my shoulder & she says im not allowed to print it off ffs.
Old 05-07-2009, 08:18 PM
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Originally Posted by andy escos
my wifes looking over my shoulder & she says im not allowed to print it off ffs.
I'll print it and send you it as a private letter ROTF
Old 05-07-2009, 08:20 PM
  #32  
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Lol cant see many signing that lol
Old 05-07-2009, 08:23 PM
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Your a funny man Benni lol.
Old 06-07-2009, 05:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Benni
Don't make Dave get nasty. Put your foot down with a firm hand Dave.

Benni.

No chance shes the boss, l just do as she says


Anything for a easy life
Old 06-07-2009, 11:20 AM
  #35  
Pardeep
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Originally Posted by Its Dave
No chance shes the boss, l just do as she says


Anything for a easy life
LOL Thats as easy as it will get for any bloke. Just shut it and do it lol
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