Shandy-Ade

Just been told i'm in court tomorrow

I'm trying to have extra time with my son, all i have now is 5hrs every fortnight, i said i want 10.30 - 6.30 then overnights in time, Ex said no 10 - 5 no overnights as he suffers from ADHD.

Thing is he dont know i'm his dad, thanks to the Ex and her hubby they've drummed it in to him that his step dad is his dad and i'm nobody.

Been asking for school details for over a year as well to no avail, will see what happens in the coming months through court.

rickbartlett

good luck mate.hope u get what u want

Ginge !

your ex OBV has the best interest of her child,,,, by lying to him all hes life

kids need there parents, there REAL parents not some guys who claim to be parents cause there shagging mummy

sorry but i hate women like this, down side is court will be a bastard too

3 things you wanna get, contact ( which you sort of have), access ( means you get to take yiur child out places) and parental responsibility that way you get a say about what they want but the reason you claim you need it for is incase hes injured when you got him so you can take him to hospital

bet the ex managed to remember your the real father on the CSA claim forms !!!

Shandy-Ade

Thanks Rick

Ginge - Yeah makes my blood boil that she's lying to him, i can handle it as i know but it's my son i feel sorry for.

I already have PR but getting any info from her is impossible like the school details, i've been asking for well over a year just to keep getting fobbed off, same as his ADHD, she reckons he's been seen by psychiatrists who have diagnosed him, but i haven't seen the report, neither have i witnessed his behaviour in the time i have had him.

Getting the court to believe that is another matter tho

Since she cheated on me and claimed DV to get me out of her life i have been suffering from depression, so dont pay CSA as i'm on benefits, i have set up a bank account for him tho that he has when he's 18

rog

iTrader: (2)

Lol @ Ginge he's right about the forms!
Mate of mine is going to go this way, I can see it coming a mile off....!

doctor stavros

Mate, I really feel for you, Im going through the same at the moment.

Weve been split up for two and a half years now, and at first I had to go and stay at hers for my days off to spend time with my son, then she became pregnant by another guy and she let me have my son overnight but we had to go back to hers during the day. After her new child was born, I finally put my foot down, and finally just picked him up, had my two days then dropped him off. Job done..... Or so you would think

Obviously, because she is my ex, we dont get on very well, and since I got made redundant a few weeks ago, the arguments got worse (ie her running aroud saying I had got the sack - not true) she moaned at all the jobs i am applying for (she doesnt understand that in this climate, beggars cant be choosers - a result of her getting every benefit under the sun and living quite comfortably)

A result of this arguing, and my job loss, is that I have not been allowed to have my son for 12 days and counting.... Once again this morning, I woke up, text her politely to see if I could have him, to which she replied 'NO'.

She says if I want to see him, then I am welcome to go round to her house and sit there. Surely you lot agree this is unacceptable?

I have asked her for a proper reason, and she cannot give one. I am getting more and more depressed about it, as if not having a job wasnt bad enough (worries of mortgage payments, bills, supporting my child etc - as she will still be collecting my maintenance payments no doubt.)

Im gutted

Ginge !

well just mention it in court as it will not be a real court but a informal room usually with a family judge tosser person who makes the desision

i done it with my first kid, she came out with LOADS of lies and even more shite and the judge swallowed it, the next time we went back though she forgot her lies and tripped her self up as she wanted my flat and so all the stories about saftey of the flat and scared of me hence shes relocated to essex,,, 4 weeks later shes claiming shes got no where to live if she kicked out of the flat and dont wanna move into a hostel with her child,,, i had to remind the judge that i was still living in my flat and SHE was currently living in a hostel, THROUGH HER OWN CHOICE

judge still sort of sided with her,,, gave her the flat and me to pay the morgage on it CUNT !!!! but he did give me half custody which she agreed as i got her friday to monday so she was thinking " i can go out the weekend and have a babysitter" but she fucked up when she tried to make a claim to CSA,,, i put a claim back towards her and also claimed half the child benifit too as i had her half the time

Ginge !

you can claim legal aid to sort out the court shite FOC whilst you aint got a job, its alot cheeper than paying for it like i had to !!

get on RIGHT NOW, pick up yellow pages and get the ball rowling !m get the free legal aid to see your kid RIGHT NOW !!!!

once thats sorted she HAS to agree to the court order and cant ignore it, its easier if shes given you access before and now stopped for no REAL reason,, apart from money

go for it !!!

Shandy-Ade

Thats shite! but as Ginge says get the yellow pages ring around a few solicitor's and ask if they offer legal aid, this is what i done years back and although there is a court order in place for my 5hrs she hasn't missed one.

You need to do it mate otherwise she will take you for a ride

Shandy-Ade

Thats quality

doctor stavros

She hasn't even stopped for money reasons, I have a few quid in the bank, Im getting a redundancy payment, and I have loaned her £600 recently, which she is repaying in lieu of child support payments (£100) per month.

How much would the courts cost normally (as I have a few hot job prospects so may not be on JSA for more than a week or two) and how long does it take to initially get the ball rolling?

Also, out of interest (I dont know how true this is) I have heard that if a mother now defaults on a court based child arrangement, that she can be arrested?

panelbeater

good luck with the courts dude i think we'll all agree you'll need all the luck you can when it comes to the courts!

Ginge !

the thing that REALLY pisses me off is that the child is gonan be affect by this, the lies that the bitter women will spread about there dad over time, the self confidence it will affect of the child and all cause a women wants to be a cunt to make HER feel better,, when i went to court i was told " a child should be with there mother",,,, thats bollox imo, BOTH parents should be looked at as options and should BOTH prove there worth as parents as single mums dont seem to be the "best" parents in most cases,,,,, as they tend to shack up with another bloke and collect the cash of daddy,,, then get daddy to spend even MORE money on hes child

the judge should FORCE people in a room, make a desision BEFORE its taken to court,,, THEN once thats sorted out as reasonable make it a court order to follow, giving the judge to make a desision should be a LAST resort, but its not as the judge ALWAYS sides with the mum so they got NOTHING to loose unless mums a junkie

my ex said lies about me and reported me to the police about threatening her with a knife,,,, the TRUTH was she was cheating on me and so i left, came to see my child and found the bloke sitting in MY front room, on MY sofa, playing MY playstation and drinking MY stella,,,,,, this was 3 days after i moved out as i didnt know she was cheating on me,,i just knew we had issues and needed to sort them out or it would go bad

i lost it with him,,, i threatened him ill admit but she called he police after i left OFF MY FUCKING PHONE MIGHT I ADD and the came to arrest me, with no fucking proof either !!

TurboShed

Shandy, damn I hear so many stories like this. Always the fucking same. They believe everything she says, and not a word the bloke says. Well good luck with it, hope it works out well. Got too many mates with fucked up lives due to CSA etc.

Edit: Ginge, your last post says it all eh!

Ginge !

took me 2 months to get sorted and final belive it or not, from the point i was arrested for refusing to give my child back,,,,, ok ill explain my situation

we split up, she was with another bloke, i scared him when i threatened him he ran away to southend and she went with him with my little one,,, i get a call on christmas day " if you wanna see your kid then come and collect us, dont want no trouble you get her christmas day and take us all back boxing day

i agreed,, never heard from her till jan 3rd where she came to collect her child !!!, yes she left her own child for a week !!!

anyway i refused,, she went to police and they came to the door, i asked if i close the door can they kick it it, he said "no but" when i heard "no" i closed the door,, following day police turn up with a statment from the court, a court order i ask again and i get told "no" so, again i close the door

following day they turn up, i answer the door, before i say a fucking word the cunt cuff me for failing to adhear to a court order,,, little one is taken off em and shes already started legal stuff to stop me going near my ex due to the threats of before and loads of opther bollox, i borow money from my old man and sister to get legal help, february we first go to court,, get told what to try and see what works blah blah and he basicaly flirts woth my ex, stroking her fucking hand saying " dont cry sweet heart, blah blah" and we get told to come back in a month by march we go back, she adds new lies, forgets the old ones and trips her self up soo fucking much its unreal,, then get ruse to the judge too who sides with me, he makes hes desision and it was all sorted out and i had half custody all sorted

then a few years pass and things change that i wont go into on here as its not relevent anyway, the main point was it took 2 months to get sorted,,, though the over all bill was 7k with the barristers fees and letters and just general greedy cunts of soliciters who LOVE taking peoples money,,,, 175 quid per HOUR was what i was charged, most places didnt wanna take it on too as i was only 21 at the time and said " grow up and sort it out before you pay alot of money" at the time i took it as they thought i couldnt afford it ( which i couldnt tbh) but they was trying to SAVE me money when they seen it was such a sloppy case that usually the mum wins or blokes dont follow through to the end anyway

Shandy-Ade

Just got back.

A court cafcass officer called both me & Ex into a room before we went before the judge to see if we could sort it amicably.

We both to an agreement but then she dropped the bombshell!!

She said she is going back to work and her husband is going to stay at home, therefore he would like PR in case of any emergency, i already have PR awarded by the courts in 2006' i told her that i will speak to my solicitor, i briefly spoke to her today and she said that's a definate NO, i know when i pick the boy up tomorrow it's going to be asked, and i feel if i say no it will cause problems, on the other hand there is no way i want him to have PR

Ginge !

its a tough one,, you have to think whats in the best interest for your kid though mate, i would ask for proof of her going back to work and then see look into it after that, explain why you are uncomfortable and FFS get in the court, that room bollox is fine but can be broken at any time !!!! court cant !!

Shandy-Ade

All got stamped by the courts mate

I'm wary as they already call him there married name opposed to my name on his BC, think this will be just to either adopt as he talked about this in the past, or change name by deed poll

Ginge !

against whats the best interest for you child is whats important, the name thing i dont get as hes name is diffferent so how does that work ?

addoption will have to be agreed by both parents i thought too ?

but most important, ask your child what he thinks, if he looks at him as a parent too,,,, then whats the real answer fir your child ( you have to take away the anger/hate and think of your child first !!!)

orion turbo

good luck with that . should never lie to a child bout who parents are it fucks em up