Much as I enjoy changing wheels for dickheads who are too lazy to do it themselves or explaining to people that their car wont start because it hasnt seen a mechanic since its warranty expired 10 years ago...I'd far rather go to Alton Towers instead


although the plus side of my job is sniggering at people when I inform them that their car has cut out because the cambelt has snapped and they're gonna need really really deep pockets



so I need a sicky excuse for tomorrow, I used the trusty old 'must have been something I ate' last time so need something a bit better!
preferably something that could run over to 2 days if I feel lazy on monday morning too!!

was thinking of pulled muscle in back or similar unless someone can think of a better one for me?

ta

UH

 

Toe got stuck in bath tap?

 

back pain, the shits is a good one too, food poisoning, G/F's ill,cars fucked, pets died, mates been rushed to hospital (hope no one does btw)

 

he'd tell me to hacksaw my foot off then come into work if I said that!!

 

Say you have the 'shites'.

will be too embarrassed to ask you anymore about it. lol.

a bit but it works.



Dave.

 

the bastards where I work aint too embarrassed to ask about anything

they'd also take the piss for evermore if remotely possible!!


back pain is looking ok at the moment though. Its got to be something they cant prove as they will know im not realy ill whatever I say!

 

Say u have come out in a rash and need to see docs!!

Then when u go in say the rash was in personal areas so he cant tell

 

i used this along time ago it worked 110%and the secretary never asked about it nor did my boss the next day , say you were getting out the bath and slipped and crushed ya bollocks big time, in loads of pain, cant walk, etc
if you work with a load of blokes like you prob do you gunna get piss ripped big time though, but it works

 

good one that! lol.



Dave.

 

i remeber coming home from a birthday meeting and phoned up my work and was trying to tell them i had diarrhea being very dunk my other half said yeah verbal diarrhea ...that was it...being drunk and haveing the balls the size of bouncing bombs thats what i was goin to tell them!


luckly for me no one answerd the phone!

 

if i told my current boss that i had crushed my nuts he would laugh in my face the c*nt

 

my jobs wicked, if i ring in sick i jus selct an ailment from a list on a telephone machine thing

 

yeah, u got infectious rash in lower regions

note *infectious*!!!!

youll get a week off !

 

what a fucking day off .

i havent had a sick day in 8 year's no and this is not a lie.

 

cant you tell them youre just going to man the car parks??

lol or you want me to ring up and break down at towers? and it will take about 24 hours to fix it?? lol

been there today and it pi55ed down like a proper cooont!! took a really nice woman with me though so wasnt really arsed!! in fact i couldnt tell you even what i went on musta just been staring at her all day a lost fooking puppy!!