Your fave BS stories....
#1
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I think my fave one was the guy in the pub car park with his XR3i,
Me:"Thats quote tidy, how long you had that?"
Him:"Yeah man I got it last year."
Me: "So have you done anything to it?"
Him: "Yeah man, loads, got it up to 300bhp!"
.....
Me: "er....
300bhp."
Him:"Yeah man, its fuggin well rapid!"![Content](https://passionford.com/forum/images/smilies/content.gif)
Me:"So what ya done to get it to 300bhp?"
Him:"Well its got a zorst, filter, chip, cossie head on it....
and he went on for about 5 mins like this talking utter shite
untill I got bored and said,
Me: "So with all that power you must have changed the box on it, what one are you using the BS3453 box?
Him:"Yeah yeah man I got that one!"
Me:"Well thats interesting, cus I just made it up...."
Me:"Thats quote tidy, how long you had that?"
Him:"Yeah man I got it last year."
Me: "So have you done anything to it?"
Him: "Yeah man, loads, got it up to 300bhp!"
.....
Me: "er....
![Confused](https://passionford.com/forum/images/smilies/icon_confused.gif)
Him:"Yeah man, its fuggin well rapid!"
![Content](https://passionford.com/forum/images/smilies/content.gif)
Me:"So what ya done to get it to 300bhp?"
Him:"Well its got a zorst, filter, chip, cossie head on it....
and he went on for about 5 mins like this talking utter shite
![Rolling Eyes](https://passionford.com/forum/images/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif)
Me: "So with all that power you must have changed the box on it, what one are you using the BS3453 box?
Him:"Yeah yeah man I got that one!"
Me:"Well thats interesting, cus I just made it up...."
#2
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Funniest one was my mate with his really tuned up Rover 620Ti, He kept telling me it would roast my shitty RS Turbo. He then got made to look like a total dick when the missus beat him in her XR2i
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#3
DEYTUKURJERBS
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how in gods name did your mrs do him in a 2i? even as std itd do a 2i? and with a zorst and a bar of boost they proper quick taxis
or is this one of them bs stories madmac was on about?
or is this one of them bs stories madmac was on about?
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#5
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Originally Posted by Itsmeagain
how in gods name did your mrs do him in a 2i? even as std itd do a 2i? and with a zorst and a bar of boost they proper quick taxis
or is this one of them bs stories madmac was on about?![Surprised](https://passionford.com/forum/images/smilies/bigcry.gif)
or is this one of them bs stories madmac was on about?
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I'm well aware of how good a well fettled one is as I've seen some of the time laid down.
#7
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What steve was trying to say (and I was there when his mate was bosting about this to) is that this guy was going on about "My car is so modded to the tits it will kill yours."
Infact it turned out to be a piece of shite with a dump valve
Infact it turned out to be a piece of shite with a dump valve
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#9
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Originally Posted by Paul J
Because his highly modded car
the only cash he spent on it was to add a dumpvalve.
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#10
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Mine has to be this joker i was arguing with on a minimoto forum!!
I posted about my stage 1 NMS cossy and its 290 bhp.......
Shortly after i went to Karl for the Stg 3 + stuff so i posted on there for somthing to do...
Anyway this dude basicly told me i was talking shit and no cossy can go over 400 bhp without blowing up every fives mins, ive had it out with him afew times now.
Aparently if i knew anything about cossys id know the reyland escort is the fastest cossy ever and there is no way i could go from 290 bhp to allmost 350 without an engine re-build.
Aparently us cossy owners are very good at making out our cars have big bhp when really we have flock all!!!
I want to smash his face in if im honest, he talks utter crap
I posted about my stage 1 NMS cossy and its 290 bhp.......
Shortly after i went to Karl for the Stg 3 + stuff so i posted on there for somthing to do...
Anyway this dude basicly told me i was talking shit and no cossy can go over 400 bhp without blowing up every fives mins, ive had it out with him afew times now.
Aparently if i knew anything about cossys id know the reyland escort is the fastest cossy ever and there is no way i could go from 290 bhp to allmost 350 without an engine re-build.
Aparently us cossy owners are very good at making out our cars have big bhp when really we have flock all!!!
I want to smash his face in if im honest, he talks utter crap
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#11
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i get it all the time..........i work in a car accessory store/performance parts sales
last ones were-350bhp on 4x4 std blue injectors (x2)
430+bhp on greens and a t34
o how im gonna laugh once mine is fixed....think il start sayin ive got 500bhp
last ones were-350bhp on 4x4 std blue injectors (x2)
430+bhp on greens and a t34
o how im gonna laugh once mine is fixed....think il start sayin ive got 500bhp
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#12
Formerly know as Puss
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my one was a builder who came round to do an estimate on some building work and i had to move my bruvs e36 m3 evo
Me. "hold on mate i will move it for ya"
Him. "Ok cheers. like these car these proper shift"
Me. "yeah the are quiet rapid have you got one?"
Him. " No a mate of mine used to have one thow"
Me. "Oh cool he's only had it a few months"
Him."yeah he had to sell cause it was to quick when the turbo's spun up"
Me. "Oh right"
Me. "hold on mate i will move it for ya"
Him. "Ok cheers. like these car these proper shift"
Me. "yeah the are quiet rapid have you got one?"
Him. " No a mate of mine used to have one thow"
Me. "Oh cool he's only had it a few months"
Him."yeah he had to sell cause it was to quick when the turbo's spun up"
Me. "Oh right"
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#15
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Originally Posted by Nath
Had a funny one at the Berks meet when I was sat with Rob & Phil ..some numb nut said his 320 BM'er would kill all the dagenham dustbins outside
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and we had a div in from a local car dealer who had a ax gt bored out to 150 bhp
i just looked at him like he was fucking insane, which he thought was cool.
fucking jackhammer
#16
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Originally Posted by edd
Originally Posted by Nath
Had a funny one at the Berks meet when I was sat with Rob & Phil ..some numb nut said his 320 BM'er would kill all the dagenham dustbins outside
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and we had a div in from a local car dealer who had a ax gt bored out to 150 bhp
i just looked at him like he was fucking insane, which he thought was cool.
fucking jackhammer
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#20
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Originally Posted by SimonT
Me: "So whats happening with the cabby?"
Him: "I'm streanghing the chassis and building a 400bhp zetec turbo engine"
Me: "Oh...."
![Surprised](https://passionford.com/forum/images/smilies/bigcry.gif)
Him: "I'm streanghing the chassis and building a 400bhp zetec turbo engine"
Me: "Oh...."
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Oit shut it
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I would have done it if I had the money
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#21
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Went with my daughter to a car showroom in my Cossie. The attendant noticed my car & said that he once owned the Cossie that had made 585bhp at the wheels & appeared in a mag as the fastest Cossie , went off the clock real easy. When i asked a few more questions it had a T4 & 4 Greys, standard box & Diff, when i told him that it was unlikely to make more than 400 at the fly he said that he had sold the proof of Power with the car & i didnt know what i was on about. No point in argueing cos he believed it big time. The Sports car we went to look at was nice, but we didnt buy it .
Rod
Rod
#25
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one of the many was a lass from work brought her boyfreind out on a nightout, he said i hear you have a cozzy etc, got chatting about our show at croft and he said 'oh i have done a trackday at croft last year with my boss in his aston martin, he said yeah it was mint we left everythin, we hit 210mph down the straight
at this point i made my excuses and didnt talk to him for the rest of the night
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#26
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dont fucking blame ya
listened to lots in my time but seems that the minute you mention having a cos or esc turbo all the wankers come out to haunt ya with tails of woe
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listened to lots in my time but seems that the minute you mention having a cos or esc turbo all the wankers come out to haunt ya with tails of woe
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#27
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Funny one I remember was at Headingly a few weeks back, queing to get a burger and heard a group of 20somethings
talking about how rapid scoobies are, bigging them up etc, I just smiled and left
Best thbing is I proberly know alot more about performance cars just by reading info from this site
Although at the moment, I can't afford to; buy,run, or insure a cossy
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Best thbing is I proberly know alot more about performance cars just by reading info from this site
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#28
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Years ago I sat and listened as the barman of the pub we were in (pulled up in my mates new ish Gsi Cavalier) driveling on about his 1.8 16valve Belmont (no such thing!) that did 150 mph and regularly went off the clock!
Some people are too stupid to bother arguing with!
If anyone asks me what I drive - i just reply "an old sierra!" and they leave me alone!!
Some people are too stupid to bother arguing with!
If anyone asks me what I drive - i just reply "an old sierra!" and they leave me alone!!
#30
DEYTUKURJERBS
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Originally Posted by SimonT
Me: "So whats happening with the cabby?"
Him: "I'm streanghing the chassis and building a 400bhp zetec turbo engine"
Me: "Oh...."
![Surprised](https://passionford.com/forum/images/smilies/bigcry.gif)
Him: "I'm streanghing the chassis and building a 400bhp zetec turbo engine"
Me: "Oh...."
![Surprised](https://passionford.com/forum/images/smilies/bigcry.gif)
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Nail bang on the head
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Dont forget the 1-off carbon trim
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Makes the "just get a S14a 200sx you fookin fool and stop wasting cash on FWD nails" idea seem bad dont it
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#31
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Originally Posted by ballin
Originally Posted by Itsmeagain
how in gods name did your mrs do him in a 2i? even as std itd do a 2i? and with a zorst and a bar of boost they proper quick taxis
or is this one of them bs stories madmac was on about?![Surprised](https://passionford.com/forum/images/smilies/bigcry.gif)
or is this one of them bs stories madmac was on about?
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#33
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Originally Posted by Oranoco
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#34
Regular Contributor
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Originally Posted by Oranoco
Funniest one was my mate with his really tuned up Rover 620Ti, He kept telling me it would roast my shitty RS Turbo. He then got made to look like a total dick when the missus beat him in her XR2i ![Surprised](https://passionford.com/forum/images/smilies/bigcry.gif)
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I used to have one of these about 2 years back and they're quite rapid to be fair. I mean they do come with 200Bhp as standard. But to be beaten by a 2i means he must have really abused that example up! Mine was standard but a well looked after example, and for that it could stay up with quite a few things.
However, as it was my 1st turbo'd car i kicked the shit out of it to such an extent where i went through 2 engines in as many weeks! But then that break up from the missus really didnt help!!!
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#35
Regular Contributor
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Oh ......... and the best 1 i used to get about my 620Ti is from a pratt down the road who "knows everything about everything" ....... well apparently there's no such thing as a Ti according to him, Rover only made the TDi engine.
Prolly funnier than that was the fact that he stuck to this claim even AFTER seeing my engine!!! FFS!
Prolly funnier than that was the fact that he stuck to this claim even AFTER seeing my engine!!! FFS!
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#36
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Originally Posted by phil4x4saph
Years ago I sat and listened as the barman of the pub we were in (pulled up in my mates new ish Gsi Cavalier) driveling on about his 1.8 16valve Belmont (no such thing!) that did 150 mph and regularly went off the clock!
Some people are too stupid to bother arguing with!
If anyone asks me what I drive - i just reply "an old sierra!" and they leave me alone!!
Some people are too stupid to bother arguing with!
If anyone asks me what I drive - i just reply "an old sierra!" and they leave me alone!!
that loose most peoples interest
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#37
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why is it every time someone comes over to chat about your cossie, be it in a petrol station/car park/pub etc, they ALL know MORE about your car than you do, and they ALL have got mates/uncles/work colegues who have had/got an RS 500 that runs 500BHP???
I think there must be about 67,000 RS 500s in the country
Oh and a completly random story, I had to work a few weekends ago at the RAF cosford air show, as I was doing a course there at the time. So, we sat in our tent watching the airshowm, helping dozy punters to find thier kids/ car etc and these 4 girls come walking past, chatting away. Girl one goes to her mate "so how do those gliders work then, as they havn't got engines??" her mate replys, "I'm not sure really, but I do know they rely on thier wings "
NO SHIT SHERLOCK
(and yes, belive it or not she WAS blonde
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Oh and a completly random story, I had to work a few weekends ago at the RAF cosford air show, as I was doing a course there at the time. So, we sat in our tent watching the airshowm, helping dozy punters to find thier kids/ car etc and these 4 girls come walking past, chatting away. Girl one goes to her mate "so how do those gliders work then, as they havn't got engines??" her mate replys, "I'm not sure really, but I do know they rely on thier wings "
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NO SHIT SHERLOCK
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#39
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RWD_cossie_wil, Thats fooking brilliant mate
You in the RAF I take it, what rank and job do you do? Currently in the process of joining, just waiting for a "trade window" to open
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You in the RAF I take it, what rank and job do you do? Currently in the process of joining, just waiting for a "trade window" to open
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#40
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imagine this, Me and Ian Howells (Racetek) are stood chatting at Santa Pod with our Escort Cossies beside us, geezer(we'll call him Terry) and his young lad come over
Terry "What is it, a V8?"
me, "No mate, it's an Escort Cosworth"
Terry"What is it, front wheel drive? My Escort convertible gonna be rear wheel drive"
Little lad "That's better for burn outs int it Dad"
Terry"Yes son"
me "hmmmmm"
Ian "
"
Little lad "You've got a dump valve havent you dad"
Terry"Yes son, and one day we're gonna have a turbo fitted too"
I kid you not, It was embarrassing to be there, then off they went , not even bothered to look at £80k+ worth of Escort Cossies,
Child abuse.
Terry "What is it, a V8?"
me, "No mate, it's an Escort Cosworth"
Terry"What is it, front wheel drive? My Escort convertible gonna be rear wheel drive"
Little lad "That's better for burn outs int it Dad"
Terry"Yes son"
me "hmmmmm"
Ian "
![Rolling Eyes](https://passionford.com/forum/images/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif)
Little lad "You've got a dump valve havent you dad"
Terry"Yes son, and one day we're gonna have a turbo fitted too"
I kid you not, It was embarrassing to be there, then off they went , not even bothered to look at £80k+ worth of Escort Cossies,
Child abuse.