MadMac

I think my fave one was the guy in the pub car park with his XR3i,

Me:"Thats quote tidy, how long you had that?"
Him:"Yeah man I got it last year."
Me: "So have you done anything to it?"
Him: "Yeah man, loads, got it up to 300bhp!"
.....
Me: "er.... 300bhp."
Him:"Yeah man, its fuggin well rapid!"
Me:"So what ya done to get it to 300bhp?"
Him:"Well its got a zorst, filter, chip, cossie head on it....

and he went on for about 5 mins like this talking utter shite untill I got bored and said,

Me: "So with all that power you must have changed the box on it, what one are you using the BS3453 box?
Him:"Yeah yeah man I got that one!"
Me:"Well thats interesting, cus I just made it up...."

Oranoco

Funniest one was my mate with his really tuned up Rover 620Ti, He kept telling me it would roast my shitty RS Turbo. He then got made to look like a total dick when the missus beat him in her XR2i

Stavros

how in gods name did your mrs do him in a 2i? even as std itd do a 2i? and with a zorst and a bar of boost they proper quick taxis

or is this one of them bs stories madmac was on about?

R4N SS

iTrader: (6)

i got a 500bhp cossie

Oranoco

Because his highly modded car was a sack of crap that hadn't been maintained and had been mistreated since the day he got it. The only cash he spent on it was to add a dumpvalve. Rachels 2i was far from standard and had been looked after and maintained right up to it being twatted by some blind knobber

I'm well aware of how good a well fettled one is as I've seen some of the time laid down.

Paul J

make ya mind up

MadMac

What steve was trying to say (and I was there when his mate was bosting about this to) is that this guy was going on about "My car is so modded to the tits it will kill yours."

Infact it turned out to be a piece of shite with a dump valve

Oranoco

He was claiming it was highly modded and was claiming loads of work. When in fact all it hadd seen was the addition of a dumpvalve.

Beach

Mine has to be this joker i was arguing with on a minimoto forum!!

I posted about my stage 1 NMS cossy and its 290 bhp.......

Shortly after i went to Karl for the Stg 3 + stuff so i posted on there for somthing to do...

Anyway this dude basicly told me i was talking shit and no cossy can go over 400 bhp without blowing up every fives mins, ive had it out with him afew times now.

Aparently if i knew anything about cossys id know the reyland escort is the fastest cossy ever and there is no way i could go from 290 bhp to allmost 350 without an engine re-build.

Aparently us cossy owners are very good at making out our cars have big bhp when really we have flock all!!!

I want to smash his face in if im honest, he talks utter crap

Dave McB

i get it all the time..........i work in a car accessory store/performance parts sales

last ones were-350bhp on 4x4 std blue injectors (x2)
430+bhp on greens and a t34

o how im gonna laugh once mine is fixed....think il start sayin ive got 500bhp

Puss2

iTrader: (5)

my one was a builder who came round to do an estimate on some building work and i had to move my bruvs e36 m3 evo

Me. "hold on mate i will move it for ya"
Him. "Ok cheers. like these car these proper shift"
Me. "yeah the are quiet rapid have you got one?"
Him. " No a mate of mine used to have one thow"
Me. "Oh cool he's only had it a few months"
Him."yeah he had to sell cause it was to quick when the turbo's spun up"
Me. "Oh right"

Nath

Had a funny one at the Berks meet when I was sat with Rob & Phil ..some numb nut said his 320 BM'er would kill all the dagenham dustbins outside

Greg Shepherd

edd

did anyone smack the twat nath?

and we had a div in from a local car dealer who had a ax gt bored out to 150 bhp

i just looked at him like he was fucking insane, which he thought was cool.

fucking jackhammer

diesel dog

nath didnt but i did a few days later

SimonT

Me: "So whats happening with the cabby?"
Him: "I'm streanghing the chassis and building a 400bhp zetec turbo engine"
Me: "Oh...."

diesel dog

would of smacked him as well bud unless he turned up with a long wheel based version of it

ballin

iTrader: (1)

pmsl, exactly what i was thinking

MadMac

Oit shut it


























I would have done it if I had the money

Anonymous

Went with my daughter to a car showroom in my Cossie. The attendant noticed my car & said that he once owned the Cossie that had made 585bhp at the wheels & appeared in a mag as the fastest Cossie , went off the clock real easy. When i asked a few more questions it had a T4 & 4 Greys, standard box & Diff, when i told him that it was unlikely to make more than 400 at the fly he said that he had sold the proof of Power with the car & i didnt know what i was on about. No point in argueing cos he believed it big time. The Sports car we went to look at was nice, but we didnt buy it .
Rod

James

lmao at that Rod!

I know a few people like that, a standard S4 which does 0-60 in three seconds!

i know they're quick but..

luke89

iTrader: (1)

at some of thses storys
i was at a local cruse when to people my mate was with started talking bout cossie's when one turns round and says " yeah im going ot get me one of them rs500 ! 500 bhp standerd "

xr_craig

iTrader: (2)

the other night me and graceland were parked in a pub car park and some pissheads thought our cars where scoobies

the strut brace

one of the many was a lass from work brought her boyfreind out on a nightout, he said i hear you have a cozzy etc, got chatting about our show at croft and he said 'oh i have done a trackday at croft last year with my boss in his aston martin, he said yeah it was mint we left everythin, we hit 210mph down the straight at this point i made my excuses and didnt talk to him for the rest of the night

david

dont fucking blame ya

listened to lots in my time but seems that the minute you mention having a cos or esc turbo all the wankers come out to haunt ya with tails of woe

Chipperx2

Funny one I remember was at Headingly a few weeks back, queing to get a burger and heard a group of 20somethings talking about how rapid scoobies are, bigging them up etc, I just smiled and left

Best thbing is I proberly know alot more about performance cars just by reading info from this site Although at the moment, I can't afford to; buy,run, or insure a cossy

phil4x4saph

Years ago I sat and listened as the barman of the pub we were in (pulled up in my mates new ish Gsi Cavalier) driveling on about his 1.8 16valve Belmont (no such thing!) that did 150 mph and regularly went off the clock!


Some people are too stupid to bother arguing with!

If anyone asks me what I drive - i just reply "an old sierra!" and they leave me alone!!

Daviet

just read fast ford

Stavros

FPMSL

Nail bang on the head

Dont forget the 1-off carbon trim

Makes the "just get a S14a 200sx you fookin fool and stop wasting cash on FWD nails" idea seem bad dont it

Oranoco

The whole point was that it was claimed to have had everything done when in reality it was a dog. God this site can be hard work at times

Chipperx2

Oranoco Ditto, its some peoples inability, at certain times at night, to read between the lines

MadMac

yep

W4SIM

That must have been one SHITE Ti!!!

I used to have one of these about 2 years back and they're quite rapid to be fair. I mean they do come with 200Bhp as standard. But to be beaten by a 2i means he must have really abused that example up! Mine was standard but a well looked after example, and for that it could stay up with quite a few things.

However, as it was my 1st turbo'd car i kicked the shit out of it to such an extent where i went through 2 engines in as many weeks! But then that break up from the missus really didnt help!!!

W4SIM

Oh ......... and the best 1 i used to get about my 620Ti is from a pratt down the road who "knows everything about everything" ....... well apparently there's no such thing as a Ti according to him, Rover only made the TDi engine.

Prolly funnier than that was the fact that he stuck to this claim even AFTER seeing my engine!!! FFS!

AlexF

I say an old mini lol

that loose most peoples interest

RWD_cossie_wil

iTrader: (9)

why is it every time someone comes over to chat about your cossie, be it in a petrol station/car park/pub etc, they ALL know MORE about your car than you do, and they ALL have got mates/uncles/work colegues who have had/got an RS 500 that runs 500BHP??? I think there must be about 67,000 RS 500s in the country

Oh and a completly random story, I had to work a few weekends ago at the RAF cosford air show, as I was doing a course there at the time. So, we sat in our tent watching the airshowm, helping dozy punters to find thier kids/ car etc and these 4 girls come walking past, chatting away. Girl one goes to her mate "so how do those gliders work then, as they havn't got engines??" her mate replys, "I'm not sure really, but I do know they rely on thier wings "
NO SHIT SHERLOCK (and yes, belive it or not she WAS blonde

Anonymous

was told 440bhp was limit on greys LOL...


2.5 bar on a T4 says not

Chipperx2

RWD_cossie_wil, Thats fooking brilliant mate

You in the RAF I take it, what rank and job do you do? Currently in the process of joining, just waiting for a "trade window" to open

andyescos

imagine this, Me and Ian Howells (Racetek) are stood chatting at Santa Pod with our Escort Cossies beside us, geezer(we'll call him Terry) and his young lad come over
Terry "What is it, a V8?"
me, "No mate, it's an Escort Cosworth"
Terry"What is it, front wheel drive? My Escort convertible gonna be rear wheel drive"
Little lad "That's better for burn outs int it Dad"
Terry"Yes son"
me "hmmmmm"
Ian " "
Little lad "You've got a dump valve havent you dad"
Terry"Yes son, and one day we're gonna have a turbo fitted too"
I kid you not, It was embarrassing to be there, then off they went , not even bothered to look at £80k+ worth of Escort Cossies,
Child abuse.