I actually have the pleasure of working on a IT support desk - and so far today its been "An invasion of poor english speakers"

Now don't get me wrong - old dorris calls up about her pc problem, 99/100 its something simple but usually gets resolved in no time! Why? Because I can understand what she's saying!

We arn't a world or european wide company - just sell to the UK and it seriously winds me the f**K right up when we get these fookers who can hardly speak english.

"OK goto the start button"

"eh?"

"Click on the start button"

"eh?"

"CLICK ON THE START BUTTON"

"Star bufton?"

We should play a pre-recorded message to people before there call gets connected:

"please understand that our helpdesk is based in England. The guys only speak english (with the exception of a small about of German and Hindi) if you can understand this pre-recorded message press 1 now to avoid being disconnected.....................otherwise your fucked!"

Ah well another day another dollar...

 

Try ringing Dell then mate
Or PC World helpdesk.

Usually the other way round.

 

thats what you gotta expect on the helpdesk im afraid.

Try winding the customers up on the line and when they start swearing just tell them you will not be spoken to like that and end the call

or put them on loud speaker when they are really going off on one.

 

I know what you mean mate. Companys that base a helpdesk in a country / or employ people who cant speak english - and the target customers are in England - this just seems sheer lunacy!

 

Done that before Ran!

And after it all the guy even fax'd in to say how much of a great help i was!! Classic!

 

mate i feel for you, i manage a computer system and have a helpdesk to manage as well, and the fookin calls we get is unreal, and sometimes its sooooooo hard to understand people, but what really really winds me up is the user asking "what I have done to their computer? when they lock them selfs out or pull the mouse out or havnt plugged it in etc

 

Any one seen that Tech support call which went on for ages. But it turned out she could not see the back of her PC as it was dark and could not turn her lights on as their was a power cut.

 

is that the one where the guy has said pack the pc up and send it back as you are too stupid to own a computer

 

yeah i know that one lee! the guy got sacked for telling her shes "too fucking stupid" to own a pc!

I just had a classic call just now (100% truth!)

"My Icon for my OyezForms software has gone!"

"you sure? What was you doing prior to it disapearing?"

"Making lunch!"

"No I mean with the PC"

"Ok I thought I'd tidy up my desktop and put everything in the recylce bin"

"was your icon on the desktop?"

"Yes it was"...........

Bin-fucking-go! Some people!

 

Im gonna have to hunt it out

 

all I get on our help desk is cocky up them selves Lawyers who are fresh from a "widening" at law school

 

pmsl

 

done that one works a treat when the manager is sitting with you

 

should have passed it onto the manager and say "earn your money bitch"

 

9 time out of 10 with that situation, you'll hear "it's my husband's pc, i don't know how to work it, can you just send a man round to fix it"

 

Dan - my response to that would be well we can only talk to the account holder. AS you are obviously not the account holder (its your husband) im sorry but we can thelp you - goodbye

 

we actually do use the UTFS code sometimes to be honest, damm old but still piss ourselfs when we use it

 

we had one yesterday saying

"Ive ordered a 256k broadband connection from you, but all im getting is 100mbps"

I'll let you guys think about what she had done

 

My personal favourite, this woman phones up in a panic...

Her: "I'm just about to go into a meeting crucial to a new multi-million pound deal, and the Powerpoint presentation I need has disappeared from my laptop!"

Me: "When did you last see the presentation on your laptop?"

Her: "Well, that'd be last night, just before I let my 4 year old daughter have a go on my laptop".

Me: "Okay..."


No shit

 

i just spat out my tea!!! pmsl@this idiot

 

sad but true!

My favorite is

RTFM

 

Read the Fucking manual. Works a treat dont it.

You ever been a real tosser and said I dunno something along the lines of.

mmmmm, THink your gonna need a new flux capacitor on that mate.

 

no but everyday I wanna say:

"OK to solve this problem restart your machine in dos mode. Then at the promt type in:

format c: /u"

 

Usually when i call some support its the other way around ie they speak worse english then me.

Called Symantec Swedish Support but the line was so busy the pre-recorded voice suggested hitting 2 for english support. Im pretty sure I hit option 2 but somehow I ended up in India.