BM08

Could you/or have you watched a family member die? mainly meaning in hospital or something.

My nan just passed away lastnight, we saw her the evening before but some of us didnt want to go when they told us she didnt have long left.

Part of me felt like a proper cunt because i wasnt there, but the other part feels like i just dont want to see that, so thats why i didnt go.

turbochild

i held a child at an accident once as there mother was been attended too by someone else she died that's the closest i've came wasn't nice i'd rather not be with a family member given the choice but i would if i needed to be

Luketehpro

i was only young when my grandad died, and i insisted on being there it was only me my nan and there kids but i wanted to go and they couldnt stop me

Lambchop

iTrader: (1)

Sorry to hear of your loss.

Not sure i'd like to be there at the final moment.

I spent time with my granda in hospital before he died and also the wife's grandma.

Not nice

JamesH

iTrader: (21)

What choice do you have in that situation? Surely you'd want to be there?

Ryan_3

about 4 years ago, my grandad was at the hospital, died there and saw him. Glad I was there tbh

pani_k

iTrader: (1)

July 14th hospital called us at 12.10am that my grandad's condition had deteriorated and only had a matter of hours. Was by his bedside until he died at 6.20am. Died peacefully just kind of died in his sleep. No drama just kind of a shutdown. Left me feeling empty is the only way I could describe it. No upset or distress...just emptiness.

BM08

Cheers.


Nope not nice at all

Cragrat

iTrader: (4)

My grandad passed somw years ago,he saw my brother and I and our families in the same day then passed away in his sleep that night

Kind of got the feeling he wanted to say bye that day as he seemed at peace with himself that day

Not sure how I feel about it sort glad he saw us and sort of sad he was alone

Don't think I could have been there at that timeto see him go as he didn't to be too ill

When my nan passed I would have liked to be there but she went 5 minutes before we got to her room following a call just before

Mixed feelings about her last few days as we had some realy nice conversations just before she took a turn for the worse

Do regret seeing her laid out though as that's not how I remember her

dojj

iTrader: (3)

whats done is done now

sorry for your loss

when my gran pased away a few years ago, the whole family were there by her bedside and when it came to the last few moments, we left and it was just my mum and my uncle who were left there

sierrsteve1980

iTrader: (7)

Everyone deals with it in different ways fella, dont feel bad for not being there.

I very rarely ever visited my grandad when he was in a special hospital for alzthema.

Sometimes it is better to remember them for the how they were not how they were when the pass away.

All you can do is be strong for yourself and the rest of your family.

BM08

Cheers dojj and steve

cabriolet

four grandparents both my parents my brother in law who also was my best friend getting olders a bastard sorry for yr loss fella and regardless what anyone says it dont get any easier my mum been gone ten years tomorrow still miss her [mum /mate/ best friend /scrapyarder u name it she did it

vernam616

Sometimes it can be the best way...... remember them as you wish, you wouldnt want a last memory being a dieing one, well i wouldnt anyway

YOREVOL

sorry for your loss
i watched my dad poorly for 48hrs untill doctors turned off his ventilator and he just slowed down his breathing until 16hrs later his breathing just stopped.i wouldnt wish my experience on anyone.
dont regret what is done because you cant change it now, but remember the good things.

st3v3

watched my mum go down hill from a "routine" opp, 12 hours later with 14 drips of various types pumping stuff in to her, she died right there in front of me, bro and dad they had to almost fight me out of the ward, 9 years this November 3rd at 12.05 am.

Major, MAJOR screw ups at the hospital from results being lost 3 times, yes 3 times, so the time taken from test to actual opperation was prolonged by about 9 month, mum was getting worse by the day, she then was admitted to hospital for the routine opp on the wednesday, Thursday morning was the opp, thursday night was bad so they thought they had left some equipment inside her, where they found nothing, after that she never regained consiousness and simply died on the Friday night.

Hospital would accept no responsibility on no accounts, didnt even get a sorry from them.

it took me a good 3 years before i could actually think about my mum before i could do it with out tears, was all so fucked up, where the NHS just couldnt get this one right.

It's Czech Mate

Been there at the final moments 5 times so far. Its not nice but its kind of comforting, and it must be nicer not to die alone or with strangers!

Rsmat

iTrader: (2)

i sat there and watched my grandad die in hospital..even tho i felt happy for him because he was at peace and no suffering i also felt empty and lost...im a strong minded person as most will know on here but things like family or some 1 close can bring ya down to your knee`s no drama.

vaughant

iTrader: (1)

Was with the old man at home when he finally died after a week of agony really(brain tumour).he didn't really bother much with me and my old girl and I didn't particularly get on with him,I don't really know why,I didn't cause them any particular trouble or anything I just think he felt the grass was greener elsewhere,although he never actually left.

These people that he felt were so beneath him ( me and mum) nursed him at home throughout the entire illness (6 months and 1 week,pretty accurate these docs), and did absolutley everything we could for him,as much as he'd pissed me and my old girl off during our lives,you have to put those things to one side sometimes.

There's no right or wrong answer to your question,it's up to you really.my sister didn't visit my father once while he was ill instead claiming she "couldn't cope" and went off to India for three months leaving me and the old girl to do everything,whilst I had to keep a full time apprenticeship going as if I'd been off on the sick I would have fallen too far behind.

After he'd "passed" as they say,he looked a bit wierd,almost angry,but he seemed a lot smaller somehow?we phoned the ambulance who said max 1hr then never even turned up so the funeral director sorted it out,got there within 1/2hr.I told the old girl not to go back into see him after he'd been gone an hour or so and she did unfortunatley and got really upset as apparently he looked terrible,she told me afterwards that she wished she hadn't.

Cos I'm on my I phone I can't see the name of the poster above who said about his mum being his best mate,coming to the scrappy with him etc which made me smile as that's just what my mums like,she's helped me drag engines out of cars,helped with all my diy,climbed up trees to cut branches off and she's still at it now,at 68!!!I have no idea how I'll cope when she goes,although on current condition it could be a long long while yet!!!

mick

iTrader: (1)

i watched my father go from a strong proud man to a dependant 90 year old in 5 months, at the end i missed his passing at the hospital by about 10 minutes. i sat with my dad for about an hour before my mum persuaded me to take abreak. he wasn't alone at the end but i wasn't there and i still regret this .after the funeral i was sent to saudi arabia to prepare for op granby , human life seemed to be worth nothing anymore. we went into kuwait and saw things you shouldn't see even in nightmares.

i am no stranger to death in my lifetime i have seen friends , family and strangers pass, yet it never gets any easier. my sympathy to all that have lost and hope that the future lessons the pain and anguish you must be feeling...............................

Danwood79

When I was about 15 my nan went into hospital, they did not know what was wrong for a couple of days and me and my twin brother went in with my mum 2 days after she went in,
I could not handle seeing her there she did not look like my nan she had a drip and air mask on, me and my brother burst out crying and left, we was going to see her the next day once we got it together but she past away that night so never got to see her again, I always look back and regreat not staying abit longer.