How do you cope with work stress?
27-11-2009, 02:40 PM
#42
Stu,
the very fact you are waking up in the night thinking about work tells me that the cycle of stress/depression/anxiety is already turning its wheels. You need to talk to your boss or you need to talk to the doctor. Both if possible. Sooner rather than later as well
the very fact you are waking up in the night thinking about work tells me that the cycle of stress/depression/anxiety is already turning its wheels. You need to talk to your boss or you need to talk to the doctor. Both if possible. Sooner rather than later as well
27-11-2009, 03:00 PM
#43
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ive been there done that mate and i couldnt sleep at night, thats the start of depression mate i let mine go on for months and ended up sleeping 1 hour a night going in to work knackered, did this for about 3 months not realising i had depression.
Got up one morning after no sleep at all made myself a cofee then something just snapped in me coffee went up the wall, couldnt stop shaking, crying and started mumbling shit to myself.
Straight down the docs and he diagnosed me with depression, gave me a weeks worth of sleeping tablets and signed me off for a month of the sick.
I never went back and jacked it in but took me ages to sort myself out just because of a poxy job i was stressing over, sort it now mate because if you crack it takes you ages to pull back to normality and it aint nice
Got up one morning after no sleep at all made myself a cofee then something just snapped in me coffee went up the wall, couldnt stop shaking, crying and started mumbling shit to myself.
Straight down the docs and he diagnosed me with depression, gave me a weeks worth of sleeping tablets and signed me off for a month of the sick.
I never went back and jacked it in but took me ages to sort myself out just because of a poxy job i was stressing over, sort it now mate because if you crack it takes you ages to pull back to normality and it aint nice
27-11-2009, 03:14 PM
#46
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27-11-2009, 03:50 PM
#47
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Stu,
the very fact you are waking up in the night thinking about work tells me that the cycle of stress/depression/anxiety is already turning its wheels. You need to talk to your boss or you need to talk to the doctor. Both if possible. Sooner rather than later as well
the very fact you are waking up in the night thinking about work tells me that the cycle of stress/depression/anxiety is already turning its wheels. You need to talk to your boss or you need to talk to the doctor. Both if possible. Sooner rather than later as well
27-11-2009, 04:12 PM
#49
PassionFord Post Whore!!
Guys, mental health is a real issue - especially among young men - and I would like to thank everyone on here who has been so honest about their experiences and everyone else who has responded seriously and without taking the piss.
If people are willing to talk honestly about stuff like this it will hopefully eradicate the unfair stigma that mental illness has had in the past, and aid the realisation that these problems are just as real as any physical ailments.
If people are willing to talk honestly about stuff like this it will hopefully eradicate the unfair stigma that mental illness has had in the past, and aid the realisation that these problems are just as real as any physical ailments.
27-11-2009, 06:04 PM
#50
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Unfortunately if you say 'FUCK EM' in the kind of trade he is in they will quite happily tell you to 'FUCK OFF' so it swings roundabouts. We have some people at my company (investment bank) who work silly hours (not in my team), they dont get paid overtime but are very career driven, want results etc. For me though 8-4 / 9-5 all the way!!
I dont mind doing the time, but I do mind the fact the blatantly there is more work than we can cope with. If I stayed late and got some extra work done to get results then I would love it! But doesn't matter how much I work, it will never be enough to clear whats been done
and thats whats doing me in.I spoke to my boss today about it. And she said she noticed the team was getting stressed out. I explained that we had 6 weeks worth of work to do in 4, she said do your 9-5, if you can't get it done, its not your fault but there isn't anything you can do.
Not the answer I wanted, so unless I find something else to do I am going to have to put up with it.
Cheers for the response guys, I'm glad to know I ain't being silly.
28-11-2009, 06:14 AM
#53
Ultimately youve done your duty by highlighting it to "command" then when they dont meet thier work targets they cant say they didnt know so will have to swallow the responsibility themselves and hire more help to get it done or accept lower targets.
In that sense the UK is going backwards compared to say 20 years ago. Could you imagine kids these days growing up "in touch with thier emotions"
theyd get shit kicked out of them and bullied to hell in the school playground and on the streets. And thats getting worse not better!! Some of the schools the mental health charity i work with goes to has kids that refuse to go to nutter support groups on the school site because if its "known" then they will get even more hassle and abuse by other kids.
Ironically the poorer the area the school is in the worse the mental health of the kids is and ironically the less able the charity is to hold groups on site despite the need.
Also every time someone axe murders someone or does some horrific killing or something, the media ALWAYS looks for something to "blame" thier behaviour on be it mental health, beaten by thier dad, call them a "monster" etc. They do this to demonise the person and make them "not like us" or different.
That way ignorant working/middle class can sleep safe at night in the knowledge that all these nasty things are done by people not like them!! The reality that we are all capable of doing nasty evil things is not very comforting to most people, in the same way so many people need a religion and a belief system of a life after death so they dont worry so much.
But what this means is that 9 times out of 10 when it comes to funding mental health, they loose out to physical illness! mental health is just as serious as cancers, and various other physical illness but the public just dont get it. Depression is the WORLDS 4th largest health problem!!! And thats NOW. in 2020 its set to be no 2!!!
Even in this country with its "free" NHS, the only realistic resource for most people if you become mentally ill is charitys or private therapy at your own expense!!! Its actually very hard to to get admitted to the nut house, even if your actively suicidal or self harming badly. There just arent the bed spaces!! To get counselling on the NHS can take over a year on waiting lists just to get assessed and then can be another 6 months to a year for actual treatment.
Makes you wonder if its all a cynical policy where if they leave it long enough, some people will get better and some will kill themselves.
28-11-2009, 06:40 AM
#54
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I would take some time out if I was you, its your managements responsibility to make sure your team can cope if your a man down, if they cant cope then its bad management and not really your fault.
sounds like your so engrosed in your work your not thinking straight and cant reflect propley about your situation.
You obviously care about you work which is commendable, however if your private life and health is suffering as a consiquence then I would have to think twice about it.
28-11-2009, 07:45 AM
#55
How about using the time after 1730 when you would have worked to go to night college to retrain into a less stressful career?? Lets be honest its not going to get any better EVER in your sector, so you have to question what you want in life and if its worth it???
At least that way your working the extra hours with an end and target in sight where as in your job at moment there is no end in sight
28-11-2009, 08:51 AM
#56
Your creating this situation yourself.
Your personal perfection standards are making you not realise that there is too much work to be done. Lift your head up above your pride and have a look.
Your manager even gave you the get out clause.
You are currently hiding the problem by 'managing' to do the work. So in head office, they currently think that your 6 or 7 staff or whatever it is, is adequate because you are getting the job done. Only when they see a benefit of getting another person in, will they. So if you slow down your processing hours, they will suddenly realise the back log and recruit appropriately.
I work for RBS in their world HQ - my views are my own - nothing to do with RBS.
RW
Your personal perfection standards are making you not realise that there is too much work to be done. Lift your head up above your pride and have a look.
Your manager even gave you the get out clause.
You are currently hiding the problem by 'managing' to do the work. So in head office, they currently think that your 6 or 7 staff or whatever it is, is adequate because you are getting the job done. Only when they see a benefit of getting another person in, will they. So if you slow down your processing hours, they will suddenly realise the back log and recruit appropriately.
I work for RBS in their world HQ - my views are my own - nothing to do with RBS.
RW
28-11-2009, 09:00 AM
#57
as sai dbefore fella's, because there is a load on your personal shoulders, you feel responsable for making sure everyone who is in a situation that you can fix, is dealt with
there are 2 sides to this
there is your side and there is there side, if you have a "don't give a fuck, it's only a job" attitude then you go home at end of hours
if you have the "i take pride in my job and peole depend on me" attitude then the company are going to fuck you one way or the other
bottom line is that the company you work for make money from your hard work, so you've got to show them what you are worth, you've just got to figure out a way to show them
if it was your own business then things would be totally different
there are 2 sides to this
there is your side and there is there side, if you have a "don't give a fuck, it's only a job" attitude then you go home at end of hours
if you have the "i take pride in my job and peole depend on me" attitude then the company are going to fuck you one way or the other
bottom line is that the company you work for make money from your hard work, so you've got to show them what you are worth, you've just got to figure out a way to show them
if it was your own business then things would be totally different
29-11-2009, 11:39 PM
#58
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Well this week, I have been doing my 9-5.
Tried out the whole getting into the routine thing, I ditched the computer an hour before bed, TV off, cup of tea, proper wash and then off to bed. I had my first decent nights sleep on thursday. Actually woke up feeling refreshed for once in the last 3 months. Thanks guys the advice has helped out at lot. My boss has taken a step back and let me crack on with the work I have rather than always giving me more.
Still, I am going to look for something else within the group to do. The stress is destroying all enjoyment I got out of my work, and I am sorry, but they don't pay me anywhere near enough to warrant me stressing out this much about it. I certainly don't get any bonuses that make it worth it (even before credit crunch time).
I'm not having this one job ruin my personal life, and I am not going to let it ruin 4 years of hard graft working for this company or 8 years of building my career in the industry.
Once again, thanks guys, this thread has helped me put a bit of perspective on things.
Tried out the whole getting into the routine thing, I ditched the computer an hour before bed, TV off, cup of tea, proper wash and then off to bed. I had my first decent nights sleep on thursday. Actually woke up feeling refreshed for once in the last 3 months. Thanks guys the advice has helped out at lot. My boss has taken a step back and let me crack on with the work I have rather than always giving me more.
Still, I am going to look for something else within the group to do. The stress is destroying all enjoyment I got out of my work, and I am sorry, but they don't pay me anywhere near enough to warrant me stressing out this much about it. I certainly don't get any bonuses that make it worth it (even before credit crunch time).
I'm not having this one job ruin my personal life, and I am not going to let it ruin 4 years of hard graft working for this company or 8 years of building my career in the industry.
Once again, thanks guys, this thread has helped me put a bit of perspective on things.
30-11-2009, 12:52 AM
#60
Wahay!! I've lost my Virginity!!
watched a great inside sport special last wed evening on the bbc. subject was depression in sport, re-opened a few avenues for me and drove home some issues too. worth a watch when it goes to the i-player thingy.
btw i dont mind saying i've been there and got the sponsered by loony tunes t-shirt.
now i will not let anything get to me enough to trigger the real lows.
anything is do-able it just needs to be broken down and tackled in due course, which you have sussed quite early, so i reckon you'll be alright.
imho having a routine, getting enough sleep + eating right are very important and often neglected when we get busy...
also only imho again but re-read steven rw comment a few posts above he's got a point
btw i dont mind saying i've been there and got the sponsered by loony tunes t-shirt.
now i will not let anything get to me enough to trigger the real lows.
anything is do-able it just needs to be broken down and tackled in due course, which you have sussed quite early, so i reckon you'll be alright.
imho having a routine, getting enough sleep + eating right are very important and often neglected when we get busy...
also only imho again but re-read steven rw comment a few posts above he's got a point
30-11-2009, 09:17 AM
#61
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Yep, they can very easily replace me, especially as there are hundreds of people clamoring for commercial banking jobs.
I dont mind doing the time, but I do mind the fact the blatantly there is more work than we can cope with. If I stayed late and got some extra work done to get results then I would love it! But doesn't matter how much I work, it will never be enough to clear whats been done and thats whats doing me in.
I spoke to my boss today about it. And she said she noticed the team was getting stressed out. I explained that we had 6 weeks worth of work to do in 4, she said do your 9-5, if you can't get it done, its not your fault but there isn't anything you can do.
Not the answer I wanted, so unless I find something else to do I am going to have to put up with it.
Cheers for the response guys, I'm glad to know I ain't being silly.
I dont mind doing the time, but I do mind the fact the blatantly there is more work than we can cope with. If I stayed late and got some extra work done to get results then I would love it! But doesn't matter how much I work, it will never be enough to clear whats been done
and thats whats doing me in.I spoke to my boss today about it. And she said she noticed the team was getting stressed out. I explained that we had 6 weeks worth of work to do in 4, she said do your 9-5, if you can't get it done, its not your fault but there isn't anything you can do.
Not the answer I wanted, so unless I find something else to do I am going to have to put up with it.
Cheers for the response guys, I'm glad to know I ain't being silly.
I work sometimes 18/20 hrs days when we are busy and have regually done 24+hr days but l ensure that the people for me are always allowed to over balance it with more time back to them, l enjoy my job and can see the direct results of doing a good job so for me working later is not really a massive issue,
Mike
30-11-2009, 09:42 AM
#62
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If you can't handle your current job (and it sounds like you can't) get another job or talk to your boss and or your HR dept about changing depts internally.
Lifes too short to be unhappy.
Lifes too short to be unhappy.
30-11-2009, 12:24 PM
#64
As someone else who is self employed, I can work an average week of 60-100 hours a week, sometimes feeling there is nothing I do other than work - however I do have my routine which I use to make sure I get as much unbroken sleep as possible!
I simply switch off from work with some Sky TV repeat I have seen so many times I know them word for word and do nothing. I also make sure I do as little work on weekend daylight hours to allow me time for myself to do what I want - which is usually working on the car or spending time with my wife
I simply switch off from work with some Sky TV repeat I have seen so many times I know them word for word and do nothing. I also make sure I do as little work on weekend daylight hours to allow me time for myself to do what I want - which is usually working on the car or spending time with my wife
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