life changing decision....
#81
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theres complications that mean it will get bitter. we have a joint loan, she has just started self employment as a registered childminder from home so earns pennies. the fixed mortgage deal comes to an end in january and somehow doubles and on her earnings she cant afford that or she wont get a remortgage. i signed my half of the house over to her for the kids sake last year.
if i have to get another house i cant afford to pay for that, the joint loan and help with her mortgage meaning shes likely to lose the house eventually and guaranteeing her hatred and bitterness toward me will result in her keeping the kids from me and me being the biggest bastard ever...
such is life.
if i have to get another house i cant afford to pay for that, the joint loan and help with her mortgage meaning shes likely to lose the house eventually and guaranteeing her hatred and bitterness toward me will result in her keeping the kids from me and me being the biggest bastard ever...
such is life.
Last edited by fuzzy; 24-11-2009 at 08:15 PM.
#82
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for sure. im very thick skinned and can handle anything life throws at me.im a survivor. i dont care about her anyway. its the kids wellbeing i care about and thats all.
#83
just finding my feet
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theres complications that mean it will get bitter. we have a joint loan, she has just started self employment as a registered childminder from home so earns pennies. the fixed mortgage deal comes to an end in january and somehow doubles and on her earnings she cant afford that or she wont get a remortgage. i signed my half of the house over to her for the kids sake last year.
if i have to get another house i cant afford to pay for that, the joint loan and help with her mortgage meaning shes likely to lose the house eventually and guaranteeing her hatred and bitterness toward me will result in her keeping the kids from me...
such is life.
if i have to get another house i cant afford to pay for that, the joint loan and help with her mortgage meaning shes likely to lose the house eventually and guaranteeing her hatred and bitterness toward me will result in her keeping the kids from me...
such is life.
also go to court and let them decide what you have to pay NEVER MAKE A OFFER and then what happens is your payment will be taken out BEFORE TAX !!!
little things like that you will learn by spending a few hundred quid on a solicitor,,,, though i aint bothered doing that even though ive been advised too pmsl
#84
#85
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im not bothered about cost and getting my share of anything. id happily give what ive got for my kids and walk away but if ive not got it to give im stuck.
#87
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completely agree ,me and the ex bitch split but i was determined to see my kids,they never forget your the dad,and the other half will get tired of calling you and slagging you off to the kids,it is hard but you will be a better dad in the long run as you will devote more love and happy ness to them,no one can take away the fact that you are and always will be there dad,just stay close i moved 150 miles to get away from my ex but still manage to see the kids twice a month
#88
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The thing is mate if you guys are seperating she has to realise that she is now on her own and might have to or will have to if she cant afford it - downsize the current house she/you are living in.
you break up you cant afford to pay for her life aswell as your own, this is where you have to be selfish and set yourself up with somewhere secure be it on the council or whatever.
you break up you cant afford to pay for her life aswell as your own, this is where you have to be selfish and set yourself up with somewhere secure be it on the council or whatever.
#89
Carbon Crazy
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I think in a legal sense, signing the house over straight away was a mistake. as thats now hers. She will still be entitled to take most of what you have left
even if at the moment thats nothing, im sure in a few years once your settled down youll have house, car etc and she'll rape your ass for that lot too.
You forget that shes only entitled to half the house, regardless of the kids. The difference is kids obviously need a roof over head until 18. Then once the kids were grown up you could have forced her to sell up and give you half.
Obviously in a divorce settlement you could have used the tied up money in the house as bargaining point for later on or to keep your current assets.
You have to remember your responsibility to pay Child support is different to the split of assets as a result of divorce.
The way id look at it is (depending on equity in house) youve got a tied up lump of money until the kids are adults. Now obviously until they are 18 thats tied up in property providing a roof over thier heads, but later on you could have set it up so the wife has to sell the house and give you half. You then could split this between your kids to help them pay off student loans or as a deposit on thier first homes etc.
Where as i think youve now screwed yourself by signing house over. In effect youve got to claim half off her now
which is making it harder for you where as the other way round you have to come to a joint agreement.
The CSA are a bunch of cunts and you could in theory give her a £10million lump sum as "final settlement" to look after kids etc, yet the very next month she could still legally fuck you over via the CSA.
I know you want to do best by your kids, but bending over and taking it up the arse with a 10" dildo from your ex is not the best way IMO.
![Surprised](https://passionford.com/forum/images/smilies/bigcry.gif)
You forget that shes only entitled to half the house, regardless of the kids. The difference is kids obviously need a roof over head until 18. Then once the kids were grown up you could have forced her to sell up and give you half.
Obviously in a divorce settlement you could have used the tied up money in the house as bargaining point for later on or to keep your current assets.
You have to remember your responsibility to pay Child support is different to the split of assets as a result of divorce.
The way id look at it is (depending on equity in house) youve got a tied up lump of money until the kids are adults. Now obviously until they are 18 thats tied up in property providing a roof over thier heads, but later on you could have set it up so the wife has to sell the house and give you half. You then could split this between your kids to help them pay off student loans or as a deposit on thier first homes etc.
Where as i think youve now screwed yourself by signing house over. In effect youve got to claim half off her now
![Surprised](https://passionford.com/forum/images/smilies/bigcry.gif)
The CSA are a bunch of cunts and you could in theory give her a £10million lump sum as "final settlement" to look after kids etc, yet the very next month she could still legally fuck you over via the CSA.
I know you want to do best by your kids, but bending over and taking it up the arse with a 10" dildo from your ex is not the best way IMO.
#90
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i signed the house over a long time ago as a a security measure to safeguard my kids home.i dont care about possession of anything. i travel light. anything else she wants she'll need to find first as ive got a couple of bank accounts, one foreign and and another not in my name.
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Last edited by fuzzy; 26-11-2009 at 08:18 PM.
#91
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just thinking though, if shes going to loose the house anyway as she cant afford it then signing it over to her doesnt help your kids.
Plus youve now no control over what happens to any equity from the sale, ie she could blow it on herself and it not benefit the children.
Whereas with you having a stake in the house you have a bit more legal control and could for example invest your half of the settlement for the kids future etc.
Obviously if theres no money in the house then its irrelevant![Surprised](https://passionford.com/forum/images/smilies/bigcry.gif)
Its just with these things its never as simple as just handing stuff over.
Plus youve now no control over what happens to any equity from the sale, ie she could blow it on herself and it not benefit the children.
Whereas with you having a stake in the house you have a bit more legal control and could for example invest your half of the settlement for the kids future etc.
Obviously if theres no money in the house then its irrelevant
![Surprised](https://passionford.com/forum/images/smilies/bigcry.gif)
Its just with these things its never as simple as just handing stuff over.
#92
no more Granada's for me
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Mmm.. hate to say this but i'm in the same position as you mate, there's nothing there anymore, an i can't bare to leave my kids. trouble is partly i don't want to be a part time dad but it will have to be that way really. i've been feeling like this for 2 or 3 yrs now, an just feel in a rutt
#94
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Can I just ask a question?
If your mortgage is in joint names.... how have you managed to sign the house over to her? Do the Land Registry and the your mortgage lender know this?
In fact, in order to transfer the property to her sole name, she would have had to have bought you out or proved to the mortgage lender that she could pay the mortgage and then taken the whole debt on herself.
So how have you possibly managed to sign it over?
If your mortgage is in joint names.... how have you managed to sign the house over to her? Do the Land Registry and the your mortgage lender know this?
In fact, in order to transfer the property to her sole name, she would have had to have bought you out or proved to the mortgage lender that she could pay the mortgage and then taken the whole debt on herself.
So how have you possibly managed to sign it over?
Last edited by XRdodgybird; 27-11-2009 at 01:25 AM.
#95
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Can I just ask a question?
If your mortgage is in joint names.... how have you managed to sign the house over to her? Do the Land Registry and the your mortgage lender know this?
In fact, in order to transfer the property to her sole name, she would have had to have bought you out or proved to the mortgage lender that she could pay the mortgage and then taken the whole debt on herself.
So how have you possibly managed to sign it over?
If your mortgage is in joint names.... how have you managed to sign the house over to her? Do the Land Registry and the your mortgage lender know this?
In fact, in order to transfer the property to her sole name, she would have had to have bought you out or proved to the mortgage lender that she could pay the mortgage and then taken the whole debt on herself.
So how have you possibly managed to sign it over?
but at the time (2 years ago) she was eployed full time on a good wage . now she is a self employed registered childminder working from home opn crap wages.
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