Some of you met Ste but most of you didn't so I hope you don't mind me posting this.

The lads from the local bike club are holding a charity night in memory of my brother Ste on 27 November 2009 to raise money for the MS Society.

Ste passed away at 9:30 on May 28 2009 and if you read further down you can see why the lads thought this night was warrented.

The charity evening will take place at St Patrick's community centre on Cranworth Street, Thornaby-on-Tees.

The night will consist of a band, bingo and a raffle, amongst other things, and the tickets are £3 each - please drop me an email if you want some (you can also pay on the door).

As Ste rarely wore anything other than combats, camouflage and leather please feel free to turn up in any combination of them but it's not compulsory

If you cannot attend but still want to make a donation please use this page to do so, and thank you - http://www.justgiving.com/SteDargue

Also, if you would like to donate any prizes for the raffle, again please let me know.


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On May 24 my 39 year old brother Ste was taken into the Emergency Assessment unit at the local hospital with a suspected chest infection, however, 3 years earlier he had been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and it had not been kind to him and was very aggressive so by this point he was virtually bed bound. So, being too weak to fight the infection it progressed to full blown pneumonia and he was admitted into hospital and then a day later into intensive care.

He was making good progress and on the Tuesday afternoon the nurses were actually looking to discharge him back to the ward but at 5pm he started to deteriorate and by the time I arrived back at 6pm things were not looking good at all. Ste was very poorly and unresponsive.

On Wednesday morning were we told that we was not responding to treatment and that the ventilator was now keeping him alive rather than just helping him so we should make arrangements for any family and friends to come in as soon as possible.

Now, Ste knew that this was coming, although not so soon, so he had made his preparations - he was a registered organ donor and had also specified that the relevant tissues be donated to the MS Society for research. This meant that we had to set a time to withdraw treatment and give the surgical team the best chance to make use of the organs and tissues.

We agreed that treatment would be withdrawn at 9pm on the Thursday night (28 May).

On Thursday morning I arrived to find Ste a lot more alert, but obviously still very ill, so I sat with him and went through what would happen at 9pm and reassured him that everything he wanted had been set up and that the surgical teams were on standby. He again confirmed that this is what he wanted to happen.

Most of the family and friends were able to come and say their goodbyes throughout the afternoon and evening.

Ste had already told us that Nothing Else Matters (S&M Live version http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goap1EZDbC4) should be played at his funeral, although as I said he didn't expect that to be anytime soon.

He also asked for this to be playing as we turned off the machines etc.

At 9pm I set the CD to repeat and my mum, her sisters and I gathered round the bed as the ventilator was turned off. Ste passed away within half an hour, quickly and with no pain, hand in hand with me and with Nothing Else Matters playing in the background. The words were so fitting, possible too fitting

I have to give maximum respect to Ste for the way he conducted himself throughout - I thought I knew him well but he surpassed all of my expectations and I only hope I can be half as brave when my time comes.

All of the nurses, orderlies, consultants and donor co-ordinators where hugely impressed with his bravery as usually these things are pre signed and not something that is further discussed with the actual donor on the day.

As you can see from the photo's I had the coffin custom painted by Jacko (at Blueovalgarages) and a number of the lads attended the funeral on their bikes to give Ste a proper send off as did Mr Kell in his Cossie. You may also notice that my Mk1 used to belong to Ste and he was one of the people who helped me restore it.

I hope this conveys why we feel this night is deserved so please come along or give what you can and thanks again.

Love you bro and glad you've gone on to a better place - Respect mate

Andy

 

I hope you get a good turnb out mate. Got a bit choked reading that so god knows what it was like typing it

 

thats a real sad story


but what a strong person he was.
good luck with the fund raser and will have alook within his website

 

I'm happy to donate to this cause, please pm me details address etc, of where to send cheque, my mum has MS, though fortunately not very bad yet, so sorry to hear of your sad loss, but as you said took some balls to remain in control like he did.
tabetha

 

Wow im nearly in tears.I love that tune by metalica.He has gone to a better place for defanate.

 

Very sad to read, had the tune playing just to remind me of what it went like! (not that I know any metalica tunes!)

As said, hope you get a great turnout!

 

im sure me and the lads from the unit will attend mate


let us knwo the detaisl when u pop in nxt ,

beef

 

i hope you get a fantastic turnout m8 and my heart goes out to you and your family

 

thats a strong boy indeed, ive just registered as a doner for the lot, anything they want that will do any good, i have a dnr on my records so wen its time its time.

 

Andy I don't know who was stronger there.

I didn't know Ste but definitely recognise him, he put tyres on my cossie for me years ago, and he was always about at Croft and so on - I never twigged that you two were brothers.

Such a sad story

Neil.

 

Cheers lads, I thought the story deserved telling and if it raises some more money for a good cause then all the better

There's a few people who never twigged we were brothers Neil, we didn't look that much alike when Ste had the beard and the mohawk/shaved head as he usually did

Beefy, it'll be on the 27th of this month but I'll be over the unit tomorrow to see how you're getting on with stuff so I'll see thee then

Oh and I forgot to say that there are a couple of ladies who are now enjoying a much better quality of life thanks to Ste donating so generously

 

A good cause as you say, hope the money comes rolling in!!