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Maths Through The Ages

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Old 27-09-2009, 06:27 PM
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as355f1
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Default Maths Through The Ages

1. Teaching Maths In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80.
How much was his profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths In 2005

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

6. Teaching Maths In 2009

A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his Chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something.. He has used the Chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target. When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a leaving BBQ of squirrel and pheasant and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting. The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.

Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?


7. Teaching Maths In 2010

A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prime mortgages in Alabama and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses.
The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry however, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it.
Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master.
The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonuses are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances.
You do the maths.

8. Teaching Maths 2017

أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تكلفة الانتاج من
الثمن. ما هو الربح له؟

Old 27-09-2009, 06:44 PM
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Maria.
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Very Good!
Old 27-09-2009, 06:50 PM
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Haha
Old 27-09-2009, 06:50 PM
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Thats bloody funny
Old 27-09-2009, 06:55 PM
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So funny.. But so true!
Old 27-09-2009, 07:01 PM
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Coldo
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Quality Too true though, as ever.
Old 27-09-2009, 08:56 PM
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made me laugh

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Old 27-09-2009, 09:00 PM
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pmsl! very good
Old 27-09-2009, 09:28 PM
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Old 27-09-2009, 10:52 PM
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superb
Old 27-09-2009, 11:12 PM
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lol
Old 27-09-2009, 11:47 PM
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fantastic
Old 27-09-2009, 11:49 PM
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Will monkeys be able to do Maths in 2017?
Old 28-09-2009, 02:10 AM
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Originally Posted by Rick Astley
Will monkeys be able to do Maths in 2017?
That's abit racist :P

Political correctness is the root of all evil in this country..
Old 28-09-2009, 03:23 AM
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why do you lot have to be racist to all of us muslims not all off us do stuff you don't like so why you picking on us for even if it is a joke
Old 28-09-2009, 03:39 AM
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FFS where was the joke offensive to muslims??? muslims were merely used in the joke as an example of a religious minority group!!!!!
Old 28-09-2009, 06:34 AM
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Chris Honeywell
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Originally Posted by warrenpenalver
FFS where was the joke offensive to muslims??? muslims were merely used in the joke as an example of a religious minority group!!!!!

Exactly although i am waiting for all the gypsies to come on here and camp out in protest
Old 28-09-2009, 06:50 AM
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FPMSL^^
Old 28-09-2009, 08:31 AM
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very good!
Old 28-09-2009, 08:59 AM
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Originally Posted by Umi
why do you lot have to be racist to all of us muslims not all off us do stuff you don't like so why you picking on us for even if it is a joke
WTF?

Can you point out where that joke is offensive to a muslim, cause I can genuinely see no reason for any muslin being offended by anything there?

If its racist against anyone its against the Gypsies surely?
Old 28-09-2009, 09:45 AM
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Originally Posted by Ryan_3
FPMSL^^
+1
Old 28-09-2009, 07:39 PM
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Funniest joke on here for a while!

I see no offence caused to Muslims.
Old 28-09-2009, 08:03 PM
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i swear muslims are touchy, they get worked up so quickly about things.
thats a very funny joke.

how many cathlic jokes are there. or blonde jokes. are these racist ?
Old 28-09-2009, 08:16 PM
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That's one to print out and keep
Old 28-09-2009, 09:05 PM
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Originally Posted by m4tt274
i swear muslims are touchy, they get worked up so quickly about things.
thats a very funny joke.

how many cathlic jokes are there. or blonde jokes. are these racist ?
how are blonde jokes recist?
Old 28-09-2009, 09:17 PM
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The ironic thing is if we keep going the way we are, it won't be far from the truth....
Old 29-09-2009, 03:48 PM
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Originally Posted by dojj
how are blonde jokes recist?
i dont think u got my point. if a muslim sat there a told blonde jokes is he been racist? No, i dont think so.
if a muslim told a catholic joke would u be offended and treaten him. No i definatly woulnt
so if a brit says a joke, and even mentions a muslim, why do muslims always pull the racism card? just jokes have a laf
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