Did I overstep the mark?
#1
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Did I overstep the mark?
Right as many know I split from my fiance back in May, now I know she had been messing about behind my back and always suspected who it was but was always talked out of doing something.
Thursday evening I found out from a mate who married her sister that IT and the guy I suspected (Gary Fairhurst) are now dating. Despite the time that has passed it still hit me like a ton of bricks. Despite my mates best efforts to defuse things with me that evening it sat badly with me and I didn't sleep.
Friday morning I got up and drove to the office she works at with the other bloke and proceeded to write "CHEAT", "LIAR" and "BITCH" over all the windows of her car with a chalk pen.
A result of this was I got arrested 4 hours later for causing criminal damage.
Now I thought my payback was extremely mild and even the police involved were extremely sympathetic and one even shook my hand and congratulated me on my work and said I should have smashed the windows instead. But a couple of people have said I was really out of order for doing it (yet one of these people hailed a woman who smashed up her cheating husbands car and threw paint all over th einside as being a heroine). 10 years together, a mortagage and an engagement destroyed I thought I was pretty fair considering the blind rage I was in.
So I am interested to know if anybody else thought my actions wereover the top?
I don't want a load of abuse or an arguement to start here just interested in peoples views
Just to add my intention was never to damage the car only cause them both embarrasment.
Thursday evening I found out from a mate who married her sister that IT and the guy I suspected (Gary Fairhurst) are now dating. Despite the time that has passed it still hit me like a ton of bricks. Despite my mates best efforts to defuse things with me that evening it sat badly with me and I didn't sleep.
Friday morning I got up and drove to the office she works at with the other bloke and proceeded to write "CHEAT", "LIAR" and "BITCH" over all the windows of her car with a chalk pen.
A result of this was I got arrested 4 hours later for causing criminal damage.
Now I thought my payback was extremely mild and even the police involved were extremely sympathetic and one even shook my hand and congratulated me on my work and said I should have smashed the windows instead. But a couple of people have said I was really out of order for doing it (yet one of these people hailed a woman who smashed up her cheating husbands car and threw paint all over th einside as being a heroine). 10 years together, a mortagage and an engagement destroyed I thought I was pretty fair considering the blind rage I was in.
So I am interested to know if anybody else thought my actions wereover the top?
I don't want a load of abuse or an arguement to start here just interested in peoples views
Just to add my intention was never to damage the car only cause them both embarrasment.
Last edited by Oranoco; 08-09-2009 at 06:13 PM.
#3
PassionFord Post Troll
I personally think that you reacted calmly. Yes you did the writing on her car, but there wasnt any damage done. I would have done a lot worse.
Did you overstep the mark, I dont think so.
Andy
Did you overstep the mark, I dont think so.
Andy
#6
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In that situation I would probably have done far worse.
I have printed off naked pictures of an ex and put them under her dad's windscreen wiper when his car was in his work's car park before
I know its easy for me to say, but you need to forget the past and look forward to the future mate.
I have printed off naked pictures of an ex and put them under her dad's windscreen wiper when his car was in his work's car park before
I know its easy for me to say, but you need to forget the past and look forward to the future mate.
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#11
I think the only person you're embarrassing is yourself fella. I know it's been hard for you but where do you draw the line eh????
The main thing is you never caused any serious damage, so well done anyway for showing a little bit of restraint.
The main thing is you never caused any serious damage, so well done anyway for showing a little bit of restraint.
#12
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i knwo its very very very difficult not to say/ do anything
i dont know if you still love her or not; but by doing nothing is ALWAYS the best way
i'm not saying you were wrong by writing in chalk, but IMO doing nothing is always best.
do i think you overstepped the mark? only you can answer that
i dont know if you still love her or not; but by doing nothing is ALWAYS the best way
i'm not saying you were wrong by writing in chalk, but IMO doing nothing is always best.
do i think you overstepped the mark? only you can answer that
#13
I've found that life I needed.. It's HERE!!
Good on you mate. It must be a real kick in the teeth, no doubt she has denied it heavily that there was anything going on and they have just been friends etc etc...
It was perhaps a little juvenile but would certainly have sent her a clear message and humiliated her a little in front of her colleagues.
It was perhaps a little juvenile but would certainly have sent her a clear message and humiliated her a little in front of her colleagues.
#16
Too many posts.. I need a life!!
I wouldn't have given her the satisfaction that you care so much.. get her out of your head, numbers deleted etc and go find another lass
Hopefully you dont have a house together because I was in the same situation and had to sell a house but twas pre housing boom and sold in a few weeks.. was still a nightmare though
Take it easy
Matt
Hopefully you dont have a house together because I was in the same situation and had to sell a house but twas pre housing boom and sold in a few weeks.. was still a nightmare though
Take it easy
Matt
#17
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Joint mortgage, she's fucked off, I have the property. She left her keys when she left and I have since changed the locks. In the process of getting her off the mortgage
#18
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i would of gone to town on the car mate sack the pen if your gonna get nicked get nicked for something good. few slaps for the fella let facebook no whats been going down ........ hmmmmmmmmmmm i think im a twisted person inside but hey revenge is sweet
#19
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#20
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you tock it a little to well mate, my miss's no's i ever find out she's cheeted her and the guy are going off the opersite sides of the nearst towerblock (opersite sides is so theres no chance of the first one breaking the seconds fall and them liveing)
i kid you not i have told her that
why havent you tied them to the back of the car and draged them up the road and back?
i kid you not i have told her that
why havent you tied them to the back of the car and draged them up the road and back?
#21
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I dont think you should have after the time that has passed. She's out of order for what she did, but to do that 4months later is more of an embarrassment to you.
#25
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It's not really achieved anything, but I can understand how much of a bitch she is and she probably deserves a lot worse. In your eyes it will be like she's got her cake and is eating it. People like this shouldn't get away with it. It would be good if there was some way you could think of to legally fuck her relationship with this guy up so that she isn't happy...but maybe you're not as petty as me. Lol
#26
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Before finding a new girl I need a stable head again and I'm not there yet.
#28
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may i sujest findout the name of guys last fling, then get a girl to pretend to be her and phone him up and say shes been diagnosed with aids, and he needs to get cheeked, that should fuck them up for a few weeks lol
Last edited by 666; 08-09-2009 at 06:47 PM.
#30
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No mate it happened to me too i just walked away i know its hard but i felt like that too sometimes its hard but you have to be the bigger man. As for what you done dont think its that bad my ex kept horses too so i felt like getting rid of that cause she showed it more affection than me but well done on the restraint!!
#32
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She's already been on to some of our old joint friends with a tale of woe and that they only just got together and nothing was going on before. Funny how the same friends seem rather shocked when I list the mountain of evidence against them. One even sounded quite pissed off saying "she neglected to tell us that"
Before finding a new girl I need a stable head again and I'm not there yet.
Before finding a new girl I need a stable head again and I'm not there yet.
as for the new girl, i said you need your nuts in, not to get married
best of luck Steve
#33
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I dont think you went over the top. When i split with one of my ex's a few years back i threatened to stab her with a kitchen devil she ran down the road screaming and the next thing i know i had the armed police and dog patrol banging on my door... i was lucky in the fact that the coppers who arrested me were good to me and helped me see what a cock i had been, my advise is hold ya head high and get on with your life and dont let a women fcuk u up.
#34
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I would of done alot worse, probably went round and tried to smash his head in.
In reality, its probably a good job you didnt do worse, is she worth getting into a load of shit for? Nope.
In reality, its probably a good job you didnt do worse, is she worth getting into a load of shit for? Nope.
#35
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You need to be more careful. Smash the car up as you wish, but don't write 'Cheat' and things as you're asking to be nicked. Just smash it up and then claim you had nothing to do with it. All you have done here is cause her little aggro' in removing the chalk, and you're probably worse off being arrested. Do it properly, and don't make it obvious it's you, if you want to do these things.
Benni.
Benni.
Last edited by Benni; 08-09-2009 at 07:11 PM.
#36
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Good luck with that, i looked into taking the gf off a while back for other reasons (nothing bad) and due to me not earning enough to cover the mortgage on my own they wouldnt do it, and i couldnt even get anoter motgage even with my dad on it and he earns as much as me!!
#37
Too many posts.. I need a life!!
Mate you did not over step the mark by a long way as what you did was rather restrained mind you if you had found out sooner i think you might of done more.
I properly trashed a so called best mates cossie when i found out he shag my then girlfriend behined my back and tried denying it, after she admitted it to me, so one night i met up with him and let him say his side of the ever changing story, and then grabbed his car keys out the car and lauched them so he would have to get out of the car and face up to me, but after about 20 mins of waiting i decided to have some fun, and lets just say he needed a new bonnet, a complete roof (as it was a little dented) tailgate and a few other bits . he even lied to people how the damage was done as a mate had great pleasure telling his work colleage the truth when one came into his shop.
I properly trashed a so called best mates cossie when i found out he shag my then girlfriend behined my back and tried denying it, after she admitted it to me, so one night i met up with him and let him say his side of the ever changing story, and then grabbed his car keys out the car and lauched them so he would have to get out of the car and face up to me, but after about 20 mins of waiting i decided to have some fun, and lets just say he needed a new bonnet, a complete roof (as it was a little dented) tailgate and a few other bits . he even lied to people how the damage was done as a mate had great pleasure telling his work colleage the truth when one came into his shop.
#39
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I think you were restrained!!
Although being arrested for criminal damage for using easily washable chalk pen is a bit harsh. did you get charged???
Most people would have done something like this:
and why is it woman can usually get away with it where as blokes cant???
Although being arrested for criminal damage for using easily washable chalk pen is a bit harsh. did you get charged???
Most people would have done something like this:
and why is it woman can usually get away with it where as blokes cant???