Oranoco

My first night alone in our home since she fucked off.

Fuck this hurts like hell, I wish I could find the words to describe what I'm feeling. My friends and family have been so good to me but I just can't see anything forward for me right now.

2 weeks ago I was sat at the top of a multi story car park sat on the top floor on the wall trying to thing of a reason why I shouldn't put an end to everything.

I've never felt anything as unpleasant as this. It hurts so fucking much. I love her so much and it's killing me. I'm an empty shell of the person I used to be. I want to take Gary Fairhurst and show him the pain I'm feeling. I have morals and one of those is not to get involved with a person in arelationship.

I stand to lose everything. My woman and my home. What else do I have to lose?

I'm waffling and I apolgise for that but I find it easier to type than talk. The thought of going to our bed alone is a serious head fuck. I keeo expecting her to walk in any moment and yet know it isn't going to happen. My life has been taken from me and I just can't see any way forwards.

Suicde seems like a fucking good option right now as it won't hurt me any longer. The tears I cry hurt more and more with every hour that passes. I'm leaking more than a rusty old Ford.

What the fuck do I do ? Really? Time is a healer I keep hearing. Not where I'm sitting it;s not as I imagine her with Him. My lady with him. The thought alone haunts my nightmares.

clarke5700

not realy that good with this sort of thing tbh mate but i have been through the same thing about 5 weeks ago and IMHO the best way to get over some one is.................. to get under some one else.

ive now got a star of a gf its gonna sound harsh but you do need to just move on mate... the less you want her the more she will want you.

The Youth.

iTrader: (1)

come on fella you really need to be speaking to professionals to help you through this and you will get through it, think of all the good things you have in life she was one small part you really do need to look ahead smile and move forward..

steve

Lambchop

iTrader: (1)

wirralphil

Takes time mate, nice cuppa tea few biscuits then get your head down. In the mornin go to town with a few mates, buy some new gear.

Go out on the town and start trying to smash some new ladies, you never know you might meet a cracker.

Oranoco

I don't think th ebottle and a half of red wine has helped.

I never realised I could feel so low and worthless and I certainly didn't know the woman I loved with my whole heart and being would be the one to do this to me.

mechanic28

iTrader: (5)

i kind of know what ya going through although i never actually went out with her so not as bad as it is for you mate!but i was well down as had lost my job etc!they do say time is a healer i sometimes still struggle and its been nearly 2 months!

But why give her and him the satisfaction of doing something to you when you have done nothing wrong!I also found it easier to post up on here then talk to people so you just keep posting away we are all here to help

Oranoco

Cheers, I'm not a talker. Alcohol has mae me a typer and I'm just bashing out what' son my mind

Ellie

People say it gets better in time, because it does. Everything does. Even if its only because the shock and surprise passes and you get used to it, it still gets easier to handle.
You may not be able to see a life without her or beyond your pain but there is one. Dont give up. its not fair to yourself and its not fair to leave someone with the guilt.
The first everything will be the hardest, the more you sit here thinking about going to bed alone the worse its going to be.
Just get by one day at a time, and dont sit around dwelling. The black hole just becomes bigger. Make plans, even if you dont want to. Im sure theres nothing remotely interesting or anything you feel like doing, but plan something to do. somewhere to go, a mate to meet, family etc. Find something else to focus on other than her.

wirralphil

Thing is mate it is NOT all your fault.

I've been in exact the same situation last year. Worst thing was she done it when i was at risk of losing my job.

As I said above go out and smash the fittest bird you can.

Alan_D

Don't do anything stupid. A lot of people have been in the same situation as yourself. It's really a shame for the ones that couldn't hang on in there for a bit, and see that things do get better with time, because they've thrown their life away for nothing.

Eventually you'll start resenting, and even hating her for what she's done. Then you'll just realise how much of a bitch she has been, and wonder why you were even bothering about her.

Things WILL get better. Absolutely 100%. You've just got to give it time.

In the mean time: cry, shout, do whatever you think you need to do. But don't go doing something daft!

mechanic28

iTrader: (5)

i tend to disagree with the find a bird and smash her theory some it works for but for me it would i much rather get myself sorted and i am trying to get her out of my system which is going to take some time as i still have strong feeling for her before i think about moving on and finding another girl

mechanic28

iTrader: (5)

what he says

daveandhelenturbo

iTrader: (1)

i sort of know what your feeling, i was with my ex for 3 yesrs thought it was going well till new years eve when she walked out of the house!!!!! i was gutted and didnt want to talk to anyone, and i couldnt see a way forward! that was 4 years ago now, and now i've got the best gf i could wish for and a 2 year old son, so things do get better but it does take time.


dave

burnzy

i think your best bet mate is to not stay at home and dwell on things you'll just feel worse i saw your first post about breaking up, and now guessing by your last comment she is already seeing someone, well if thats the case your worth more than that, if she loved you as much as you loved her she wouldn't of started to see someone else so quickly, so atleast you no before you got married and made things soo much worse, i'm sorry i don't mean to seem harsh but women are nasty pieces of work, you should of gone out with mates tonight and it would of made you remem how good single life can be .

and don't take your own life no woman is worth that much ever and no matter what they have done. and think of all the other people you would leave behind that really do love you no matter what happens, like your family they would be devistated, i had a mate kill himself over a woman and i still think of him as a coward for taking the easy option out and honestly will never forgive him for the heartbreak he gave me.

honestly though i no it must be hard if you really liked her but like everyone that say's it and has probably been in your shoes before you should and will move on and probs come to realize what a mistake and annoyance she might of been in the first place.

my misses used to get beaten up by her ex and she always used to blame herself it's taken a while but she has finally realized what an arse hole he is so i'm sure time will be your healer you'v just gotta get over the painfull part then enjoy your hole life ahead of you

Psycho Warren

iTrader: (5)

your not worthless.

Your relationship with ONE woman is over!!

Yes you feel shit and low but feelings are not always fact. Your worth loads to your family etc. Suicide aint the answer.

You need to get on with your life so you have direction and something to focus on.

Yes i might be sounding direct and a bit harsh but you need to stop focusing on the negative and look at what you do have still. yes you might have to sell house, but family may be able to help and you might get new batchelor pad!!

I wouldnt go on rebound personally!!

bigchez

I know how you feel, I sold my cossie 2 weeks ago.

Seriously dude if you've had a drink sleep it off and you'll feel much better in the morning.

dovboy

feel for you mate,a reply would be nice to let us know your ok!

dovboy

oh and look at it this way.. if she loved you as much as you loved her there would be no him,its a lucky escape for you mate.

Ollie.

Without trying to sound a bit short here but fuck sake its only a bird and your wanting to kill yourself. Get a grip and get out and find another one. If shes with someone else shes not worth it.

Oranoco

Still here mate. Onto the apple juice and the cigarettes. Running out of steam slowly so wil head to bed in a bit.

Alan_D

That is harsh.

It's difficult to tell whether that is your attitude, or if you've never experienced what he's feeling?

Ollie.

Thats the way i view it mate. If shes away with someone else then shes not worth it no matter how special you thought she was or how long it lasted. Thinking about ending your life because of a relationship is just silly. Pure attention seeking... sorry people just my views.

I think Oranoco really needs to look at the big picture here... you only get one shot at life... move on, forget about her and make his life count.

Benni

You make it sound so simple. You can't just turn your feelings off over night and start again. You adjust to life with this person. The smallest of things can bring back happy memories. It takes time.

I wish you all the best mate.

Benni.

Alan_D

I know where you're coming from, but wasn't really what I was asking. For e.g I've got a pal who's almost 22. He pulls loads of birds, but he's never had a girlfriend. He's never loved a woman in his life so he wouldn't know what this was all about.

Rab

Steve, you have friends on here and in real life. It WILL get better. I know you hate hearing this right now but chin up mate. It's going to get better.

If you want to come to Portland and go on the absolute piss mate, feel free. I'll put you up on my ship. PM if you need to.

carlfiesta999

Love is giving someone the power to destroy you and then trusting them not to..

Sad fact that, though suicide may not always be the answer, the instant feeling of regret, hurt, shame, sadness, it is only natural as a human being to seek revenge, or seek an end to the pain and suffering, for suicide is the cowards way out, it is the easy way out, and trying to end my life 3 times has prooved to me, despite have grey hair at the age of 24, and trying to kill myself over different things, it is a cruel thing to do, you have to sit and think of your parents, family, friends you will cause suffering to in the long run, why should someone else suffer with the pain of loosing you because you couldnt suffer with the pain of loosing someone else? yes she was someone you loved, and she has left you on bad, cruel and selfish terms, if she had died or something had become of her that wasnt her own doing and you were both still in love, then i could see your point, but all i recommend now is seeking help, alcohol and drugs do not help, alcohol is a depressant in the wrong frame/state of mind, try and be around people as much as you can, socializing is a great healer, go and see the doc, but don't shove the first pills he gives you down your throat if you do, because they dont always work, i wish you well and hope you pull through this. Please don't do anything silly. Things get worse before they get better.

johnandhissaffy

iTrader: (1)

all the best to you mate we all have ups and downs everyone takes them differently but at the moment you dont see a future but belive me there is mate

dovboy

i agree 100% but sugar coat it bro!

XRT_si

iTrader: (2)

Mate, Ive been through by far the worst few months of my life ever with 2 situations relating to ex birds/mates/current birds/mates and honestly can relate to what your saying. I had never felt so low, or so depressed about things.

But as stated above, time IS the key, FACT. I found it easiest to detach myself from that person as much as possible, dont let yourself think about her. After some time it will evenutally start feeling just a little better.

Also a strong believer and live my life with these statements in mind, I find it helps you understand or at least finds a means to a reason for bad tings that happen;

1. Everything happens for a reason.
2. Look for good in EVERY bad situation.

Ive found over the last few months who my REAL friends are and just how many people are REALLY there to help me through these times and prove what they mean to me.

Those things alone should be a MASSIVE comfort to you.

Hope at least some of this helps in some tiny way.

155lee

iTrader: (10)

like what has been said already,it does hurt but life goes on.no woman is worth ending your life for especially 1 who does that to you.the same happened to my friend,got screwed over by his then fiancee but he got married to a brilliant girl 3 weeks ago whos a bit younger than him and imo well out of his league so i would say he got the better end of the bargain.you need time to get your head around it and get back in the game.moping about the house or going out chasing slags wont cheer you up either i dont think.

SS1

iTrader: (3)

Stay clever bud..get your head down for a kip

Them pesky birds will be chirpping at 4.40am

Things will look better tomorrow HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF

Elvis

iTrader: (1)

Know how you feel mate.

After my second daughter 3 months old, i was left with my 2 daughters, whilst she fucked off to live aborad with another bloke, leaving me alone, with 2 kids, one being a 3 month old baby.

I met another woman, we got married 3 years ago, that ended recently, i felt like jumping off a bridge or something. but no woman is worth that mate.

Dont just go out and smash some other birds back doors in, i did this and made me feel worse in the end. I would talk to mates, even think about seeing a professional, as it really does help just to speak to someone.

If you want to talk, add me on msn mate.

R5FORD

iTrader: (1)

As stated above.. love is giving a person the power to destroy you.. And you trusting them not to..

Obviously she wasnt trust worthy so move on mate..she can only destroy you if you let her?? How can a man come to the low depths of thinking about suicide over a woman??

Maria.

Theres some good advice here honey......

And you are FAR from worthless!!!

SHE is the one in the wrong! And yes it hurts right now, but youve got to muster up as much hatred as you can, to move forward.

Glenn_

iTrader: (1)

I know its hard bud but it will just take time.You find the right woman for you one day.Keep your chin up fella and be strong.

Harris.

No one is right and no one is wrong, its life ! You will meet someone else who will make you feal great again. And when you do let us all know mate

Chin up and avoid the bottle ,thats not the answer !!!!

Charlie Chalk

iTrader: (1)

Steve chin up mate, and what ever you do, don't take your life.

My friend did when his girlfriend left him and he wasn't aloud to see the kids.. It hurt me alot when he did. Think of the others, shes not worth the pain you'd cause if ever you done something

Time is a healer as you say. Have you got many hobbies other than cars? Or many close friends to go out with, ask them.. I'm sure they wouldn't mind.


Hope your ok.

nickscunny

iTrader: (1)

Havent read what others have put but I scanned a few replies......

I felt abit like this 6 years ago when my ex was cheating on me while pregnant with our son. Fucking hurt like fuck, my world had stopped. First thing I did was get some time out and went and stopped at a mates in Durham till I was ready to go back and face reality (which was about 6-7 months). When I got back I approached her regarding visiting our son. Wasnt easy and tbh I was gutted. But 6 years on and I am better than ever, better off without her. It isnt easy, I cant comment on your relationship because I dont know anything about you both. But speaking from my experiences, I am much better off without her.

I know have a new girl whom I have been with for nearly 5 years, a nice house, 2 cars and good job and a brilliant son. I wouldnt have any of those if I was still with her.....


Keep your chin up the future will get better....

Steven_RW

Mate, this is not good. Everyone has put down all the sensible points already so i'll just get straight to the point.

1. You are like a rat sitting in a dark trap at the moment. You can't see a way out. That is why you are talking about all the jumping off a building etc. You can't see the solution

2. For a FACT in 'a period of time' you will NOT feel as badly as you do. That I can guarantee and I am sure that everyone on here can do to. This will be like getting released from the cage, you will see other opportunities and possibilities as the 'grief' lifts' and then you will think, 'wasn't it strange that I couldn't see those when I was stuck in the darkness'

3. You are a man, you CAN deal with feeling down for a while. We all have to and some people take longer than others. The way out is NOT to top yourself. Another quick analogy, You were lewis hamilton last year, on top of the world, all going great, feeling good, clearly defined future ahead of you. You are now lewis hamilton this year, things look SHIT, you can't see ANY chance of it getting better. Option 1, give up like a softie with no backbone, Option 2, man up, talk to your mates, keep your head screwed, cry it ALL out, keep posting up here till you have got every last bit of it out, and then buckle down to think about next years title.

That is all we can really say. It hurts like hell, you ARE strong enough to get through it, you WILL see more clearly once this hurt lifts. You will, without a doubt, have a great future ahead of you and that can be impacted by your attitude to life.

I can only wish you the best, but what you are not excepting is that you cannot see a bright future right now, but there IS one out there. You just have to paddle up a shit stream for a while till you can see your way out.

I hope you appreciate all the daft analogies.

It WILL get better, the future WILL look bright again.

Good luck

RW