FTAO: Everyone Who Is Good With English, Please Help.
27-10-2008, 02:49 PM
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FTAO: Everyone Who Is Good With English, Please Help.
This is a piece of work I have written for my English Lesson, and as you are all blatantly arse holes who will pick at the faults, I thought I best post it. 
Please point out any mistakes, etc.
Benni. 
Please point out any mistakes, etc.
Originally Posted by Benni
Dear Sarah,
I have received your letter and I am pleased to hear from you. It’s nice to know you and the girls are doing well and keeping in high spirits. As always, send them my love and well wishes. I would like to tell you all is well, but I shall not lie to you darling, as I find the only thing that keeps me going, is our trust, honesty and companionship. Times are hard at the moment; close friends of mine are being killed all around me. Soon there will be more rats than men, and they seem to be growing bigger as the days go on as they are feeding off the bodies of soldiers, who have sadly been killed. There has been an endless amount of rain fall, which in turn has caused the trenches to flood. The rain fills up the trenches and water seeps in through the sides leaving us up to our knees in thick, stinking mud which makes any movement difficult, and very limited. It can take weeks to months before the rain dries out, and usually by then more has been and flooded. The rain is diseased, because of lice infestation. This has killed many people in itself. The food is usually cold or late; I find myself, like all soldiers living off the tin foods you send me, which brings great comfort to what is a life of unpleasantness.
The trenches require constant building and repairing, which is hard work, and can be just enough to send some soldiers over the edge. Trench life is tedious, hard work and I hope and pray daily that I do not end up with a disease which is being spread by the maggots and flies feasting on the decomposing corpses. Our outfits, although very helpful in saving our lives, weigh more than the world itself. The helmet alone is heavy enough, and the rest of the clothing doesn’t bare thinking about. The boots fill with water, and you daren’t take them off, which has led to a disease, commonly known as trench foot. This is a lot worse than it sounds, people have been severely injured, some even crippled. It’s colder here than I could have ever imagined, close friends of mine have suffered from frostbite, exposure and they are bravely carrying on, like the heroes are to become.
Although times are hard, and I am suffering, I still feel I am one of the lucky ones, as some are shell shocked, which means they have been killed, as ignorantly this disease has not to be regonised, which means it is being mistaken and instead they are being shot, as the cowards they most certainly are not. I carry on, using the photograph I have of you and the girls, who help me, continue on this horrendous journey. We are more likely to die of a disease than in the battle itself, which is very bizarre really but also very close to the truth.
Speaking of the battle, things have changed dramatically for the worse, there has been no action for weeks, and although this can only be a good thing, it has led to sheer boredom. People are snapping at their friends, and it has left an unpleasant atmosphere amongst the troops. You have to be very careful when you sleep, as the rats are so big they will eat through your boots and clothes, which would be highly unpleasant. Just last week, we where gassed which has left many men wounded, slowly dying, and there is really nothing anyone can do for them, other than pray. I miss you and the girls, and would give all I had to spend Christmas with you, as a family. This is looking less and less likely, so for now I shall spend my time here, proudly fighting for our country.
I hope this letter is received, and my honesty is respected. Nobody knows when the war will end, which means I can not tell you when I will be home. However, I will keep as safe as possible, and hope for a safe return. Take care my darling, and look after yourself and the kids. Please remember, my love for you is strong, and growing daily. For it is you that keeps me going. I hope this letter reaches you in good time, if at all.
Yours sincerely,
Ben.
I have received your letter and I am pleased to hear from you. It’s nice to know you and the girls are doing well and keeping in high spirits. As always, send them my love and well wishes. I would like to tell you all is well, but I shall not lie to you darling, as I find the only thing that keeps me going, is our trust, honesty and companionship. Times are hard at the moment; close friends of mine are being killed all around me. Soon there will be more rats than men, and they seem to be growing bigger as the days go on as they are feeding off the bodies of soldiers, who have sadly been killed. There has been an endless amount of rain fall, which in turn has caused the trenches to flood. The rain fills up the trenches and water seeps in through the sides leaving us up to our knees in thick, stinking mud which makes any movement difficult, and very limited. It can take weeks to months before the rain dries out, and usually by then more has been and flooded. The rain is diseased, because of lice infestation. This has killed many people in itself. The food is usually cold or late; I find myself, like all soldiers living off the tin foods you send me, which brings great comfort to what is a life of unpleasantness.
The trenches require constant building and repairing, which is hard work, and can be just enough to send some soldiers over the edge. Trench life is tedious, hard work and I hope and pray daily that I do not end up with a disease which is being spread by the maggots and flies feasting on the decomposing corpses. Our outfits, although very helpful in saving our lives, weigh more than the world itself. The helmet alone is heavy enough, and the rest of the clothing doesn’t bare thinking about. The boots fill with water, and you daren’t take them off, which has led to a disease, commonly known as trench foot. This is a lot worse than it sounds, people have been severely injured, some even crippled. It’s colder here than I could have ever imagined, close friends of mine have suffered from frostbite, exposure and they are bravely carrying on, like the heroes are to become.
Although times are hard, and I am suffering, I still feel I am one of the lucky ones, as some are shell shocked, which means they have been killed, as ignorantly this disease has not to be regonised, which means it is being mistaken and instead they are being shot, as the cowards they most certainly are not. I carry on, using the photograph I have of you and the girls, who help me, continue on this horrendous journey. We are more likely to die of a disease than in the battle itself, which is very bizarre really but also very close to the truth.
Speaking of the battle, things have changed dramatically for the worse, there has been no action for weeks, and although this can only be a good thing, it has led to sheer boredom. People are snapping at their friends, and it has left an unpleasant atmosphere amongst the troops. You have to be very careful when you sleep, as the rats are so big they will eat through your boots and clothes, which would be highly unpleasant. Just last week, we where gassed which has left many men wounded, slowly dying, and there is really nothing anyone can do for them, other than pray. I miss you and the girls, and would give all I had to spend Christmas with you, as a family. This is looking less and less likely, so for now I shall spend my time here, proudly fighting for our country.
I hope this letter is received, and my honesty is respected. Nobody knows when the war will end, which means I can not tell you when I will be home. However, I will keep as safe as possible, and hope for a safe return. Take care my darling, and look after yourself and the kids. Please remember, my love for you is strong, and growing daily. For it is you that keeps me going. I hope this letter reaches you in good time, if at all.
Yours sincerely,
Ben.
27-10-2008, 03:18 PM
#2
and usually by then more has been and flooded
The rain is diseased, because of lice infestation
The food is usually cold or late
I hope and pray daily that I do not end up with a disease which is being spread by....
Our outfits
like the heroes are to become
Although times are hard, and I am suffering, I still feel I am one of the lucky ones, as some are shell shocked, which means they have been killed, as ignorantly this disease has not to be regonised, which means it is being mistaken and instead they are being shot, as the cowards they most certainly are not.
- "some are shell shocked, which means they have been killed" ??? killed how, mentally?
- RECOGNISED.
- Last bit doesn't make sense.
I carry on, using the photograph I have of you and the girls, who help me, continue on this horrendous journey
which is very bizarre really but also very close to the truth
Speaking of the battle, things have changed dramatically for the worse.....it has led to sheer boredom
we where gassed
I hope this letter is received
my honesty is respected
look after yourself and the kids
growing daily. For it is ....
I hope this letter reaches you in good time, if at all
27-10-2008, 03:36 PM
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27-10-2008, 03:42 PM
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