whos had bad girlfriend problems???
22-08-2008, 12:45 AM
#83
sorry mate but thats not true if not married im afraid !!!
he will have to go to court JUST to be allowed to SEE hes kids, he will need 3 things, contact, access and parental guidence MIN
hes not married so wont get these, this is WHY we have fathers for justice,,, they are fighting this !!!!
the legal system sucks, the CSA ( though thats closed down now btw) will generally only fight the case for people on BENIFITS, when shes working they dont generally care,, its just to reduce benifit claims !!!!
BUT being a good father means it will be EASY and the kids will be asked too and that will help, will cost around 1500 quid to 4000 quid but will be cheeper than marrige AND divorce
he will have to go to court JUST to be allowed to SEE hes kids, he will need 3 things, contact, access and parental guidence MIN
hes not married so wont get these, this is WHY we have fathers for justice,,, they are fighting this !!!!
the legal system sucks, the CSA ( though thats closed down now btw) will generally only fight the case for people on BENIFITS, when shes working they dont generally care,, its just to reduce benifit claims !!!!
BUT being a good father means it will be EASY and the kids will be asked too and that will help, will cost around 1500 quid to 4000 quid but will be cheeper than marrige AND divorce
http://www.raisingkids.co.uk/preg/preg_dad06.asp
if your not on the birth certificate then make sure its corrected before you split up!!!
Yes the law is still biased towards the woman but having parental responsibility is key to making sure you have more rights with decisions that effect your child.
Just remember you can still be a good father even if you have left her.
Ginge is right though that for some reason a large proportion of woman turn into malicious nasty psychos using thier kids as a weapon just to get at the dad which is fucking wrong IMO as the only people who really suffer are the kids as they arent fucking stupid and when old enough they will see the truth and hate the mother for all the lies.
22-08-2008, 01:24 AM
#84
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dont need a spel checker, im just shit on a keyboard so i jus do it as quik as i can! an dont give a fuk how it looks or spelt
22-08-2008, 03:36 AM
#85
take her out for dinner so that your away from the house and in public so things cant get too heated. and tell her exactly how you feel and how shes acting/what shes doing etc. she may not realise quite how shes been acting and how its affecting you.
dont forget as soon as girls get comfortable (and yours clearly is!) they will start taking the bloke for a mug. the old saying treat em mean etc comes in. you cant always give them what they want and you clearly have. parhaps she just needs a wake up call?
i wouldnt jump to such decisions as to leave yet, same as dont go wrecking your head with thoughts of her cheating etc, as just because certain idiots are saying things on here doesnt mean its true!
hope your happy whatever the outcome is.
dont forget as soon as girls get comfortable (and yours clearly is!) they will start taking the bloke for a mug. the old saying treat em mean etc comes in. you cant always give them what they want and you clearly have. parhaps she just needs a wake up call?
i wouldnt jump to such decisions as to leave yet, same as dont go wrecking your head with thoughts of her cheating etc, as just because certain idiots are saying things on here doesnt mean its true!
hope your happy whatever the outcome is.
22-08-2008, 04:04 AM
#86
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its sounding like a really shite sittuation there nothing worse when kids are involed because in my opinion i could not go one day without my kids but also at the same time being with someone that long would be hard to go "fuck it i am off"because i would not like to see my mothers kid with someone else 
at times aswell my wife does my nut in i dont think she has been as nasty as that but i would agree saying to her right lets have a chat me and you get the kids minded and then both you sort the diffrences but thats up too you only if you feel deep inside that you would like to make things work?it must run through your head if i do this what do i do next and where do i go what about the kids and family etc etc?i would not do anything drastic before you have thought about this i would also say about the money and put bars on the phone for mobile number and then even put £10-"£20 in a mobile and say right this is your limit for the week i presonaly think that spending like that is mental i know because i have went through the exact same but now we try and aviod it and put the money in the kids bankys or go on days out thats another good thing if you want to make it work?going places doing things because thats where the prob might be lack of comunication and that will give you's something to talk about and also good too have the kids doing stuff they like
thats all i can really say let me know what you think buddyhope all goes well
at times aswell my wife does my nut in i dont think she has been as nasty as that but i would agree saying to her right lets have a chat me and you get the kids minded and then both you sort the diffrences but thats up too you only if you feel deep inside that you would like to make things work?it must run through your head if i do this what do i do next and where do i go what about the kids and family etc etc?i would not do anything drastic before you have thought about this i would also say about the money and put bars on the phone for mobile number and then even put £10-"£20 in a mobile and say right this is your limit for the week i presonaly think that spending like that is mental i know because i have went through the exact same but now we try and aviod it and put the money in the kids bankys or go on days out thats another good thing if you want to make it work?going places doing things because thats where the prob might be lack of comunication and that will give you's something to talk about and also good too have the kids doing stuff they like thats all i can really say let me know what you think buddyhope all goes well
Last edited by CRAIG HAYTER; 22-08-2008 at 04:05 AM.
22-08-2008, 04:59 AM
#88
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I was in exact same position.7 yrs together and 2 kids. Arguing all the time until a big one she chucked me out.Was upset at the time, mainly coz i was real close to my girls and couldnt think of being apart. Lived quite a few miles away from family and friends so apart from close family never really kept in touch.Stayed at my mums for about 2-3wks then managed to get myself my own place back where i used to live.Sorted maintenance and stuff (she tried to fleece me but csa was quite good, only took account of my minimum wage as most of my money made up from bonus and extras!).About 3 yrs down the line, see my kids every week and talk to them everyday.I have them over for a weekend once a fortnite.I have a girlfriend i live with ,been together about a year and my ex has got on with her life and at the mo all being well its worked out ok!!! Tho i do begrudge giving the ex money for kids when she spends it on herself!!!!
22-08-2008, 07:06 AM
#89
Children need your happiness, they need a dad, they need you to love them, nothing more, nothing less.
If your a miserable sod because of your situation, you will effect your children and that's not fair on you or your children
With regards to who gets the children, let your other half have them, they are not property.. it allows you to work hard to provide for them, save to give them access to university and a better start in life.
22-08-2008, 07:18 AM
#90
Cancel the contact for the mobile, use pay as you go, it's more than adequate and tell her to pay it herself. House phone, change to a cheaper provider and bar mobile calls. That should atleast save you some cash, but can't really help with the other stuff! Sorry!
22-08-2008, 08:03 AM
#92
it's true though rog.
here are some more
I don't mind living in a mans world as long as I can be a women in it
I'm all for equal rights I look forward to the day when men are classed as equal.
women quite happy to send all your money but none of their own
Marriage is nothing more than legalised prostitution
22-08-2008, 08:22 AM
#95
Super Moderator
why are the phone bills so high??
as said before sit her down and speak to her tell her how you feel and dont hold anything back tell her you are unhappy with how things are at the moment and you want things to change..
see if she can do it
but life is way to short to be somewhere where you are not happpy
as said before sit her down and speak to her tell her how you feel and dont hold anything back tell her you are unhappy with how things are at the moment and you want things to change..
see if she can do it
but life is way to short to be somewhere where you are not happpy
22-08-2008, 08:38 AM
#96
why are the phone bills so high??
as said before sit her down and speak to her tell her how you feel and dont hold anything back tell her you are unhappy with how things are at the moment and you want things to change..
see if she can do it
but life is way to short to be somewhere where you are not happpy
as said before sit her down and speak to her tell her how you feel and dont hold anything back tell her you are unhappy with how things are at the moment and you want things to change..
see if she can do it
but life is way to short to be somewhere where you are not happpy
22-08-2008, 08:54 AM
#98
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Communication is the key to things like this if the 2 of you can not comunicate then that is your biggest problem right away, once you can talk amicably then you can move forward.
Self esteem is a valuable thing though
Mike
Self esteem is a valuable thing though
Mike
22-08-2008, 09:44 AM
#99
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Sorry to hear your so down Roosie
Sorry but that kind of money on phone bills is extortionate! You've obviously tried to talk to her about it? She must be talking for hours to everyone, they clearly not wasting their phone bills phoning her. Tell her if she doesn't cut them down (and I think you can log onto BT and check all calls, should be the same with mobile) then you will have outgoing calls barred, cancel the direct debit on the mobile, if she wants a contract she can set it up, I am sure if there is an emergency when shes out a £5 on a pay as you go will suffice.
Sure she would probably want to use a car to take the kids about, if she keeps wrecking them get her a cheap shitbox, if she doesn't like it she can save up for her own car - seems she has lost the value of money as isn't spending her own.
Fair enough you earn more and she is looking after the kids, so its probably fair that you would pay the majority of the household bills (we pay our car insurance through our joint account, and as both working full time (if me on lesser wages) and put practically 50/50 each in the joint account to cover bills) with the cost of everything going up you can't afford to be frivolous (well you aren't she it) maybe you should write down everything that has to be paid out, the latest tv's and sky hd + etc etc are luxuries, you can't afford EVERYTHING.
Regardless, how is your actual relationship, if she can realise that there isn't an never ending supply of cash, how is she to YOU? Is she loving, affectionate, does she 'look after' you (i.e when she doesn't have to work does she make sure you have a dinner made for you after work, do the ironing, housework etc?)
Is it worth working out? (although I like the suggestion about making HER leave and you keeping the kids etc!)
Z
Sorry but that kind of money on phone bills is extortionate! You've obviously tried to talk to her about it? She must be talking for hours to everyone, they clearly not wasting their phone bills phoning her. Tell her if she doesn't cut them down (and I think you can log onto BT and check all calls, should be the same with mobile) then you will have outgoing calls barred, cancel the direct debit on the mobile, if she wants a contract she can set it up, I am sure if there is an emergency when shes out a £5 on a pay as you go will suffice.
Sure she would probably want to use a car to take the kids about, if she keeps wrecking them get her a cheap shitbox, if she doesn't like it she can save up for her own car - seems she has lost the value of money as isn't spending her own.
Fair enough you earn more and she is looking after the kids, so its probably fair that you would pay the majority of the household bills (we pay our car insurance through our joint account, and as both working full time (if me on lesser wages) and put practically 50/50 each in the joint account to cover bills) with the cost of everything going up you can't afford to be frivolous (well you aren't she it) maybe you should write down everything that has to be paid out, the latest tv's and sky hd + etc etc are luxuries, you can't afford EVERYTHING.
Regardless, how is your actual relationship, if she can realise that there isn't an never ending supply of cash, how is she to YOU? Is she loving, affectionate, does she 'look after' you (i.e when she doesn't have to work does she make sure you have a dinner made for you after work, do the ironing, housework etc?)
Is it worth working out? (although I like the suggestion about making HER leave and you keeping the kids etc!)
Z
Last edited by cabrio zo; 22-08-2008 at 09:46 AM.
22-08-2008, 12:11 PM
#100
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My missus and i have been together 7 years and tbh its been shit for last 3 years.She has bled me dry money and making me really down. Got a quartly phone bill today at £580 from bt and last week had her contract phone bill through for £311. im forever paying out everything for her, fair enough we have 2 kids so she can only work 15 hours a week but she smokes 20 a day that i pay for ontop of her £20 fuel a day her car insurance every month for her to see all her mates!
i think tonight really topped it off i said "I cant afford to keep paying all your bills" and she replied "If you aint got no money what use are you too me?"
Im in a well paid job and we have a lot of luxerys she wanted ie sky HD,Internet,50 plasma,Blueray,ps3.
she also keeps ruining all the cars i buy for her dont look after them.
Ive never been so unhappy in my life but feel if i leave i would have wasted 7 years. obviously im going to have to walk out on the boys as now mother usually always get them.
anyone been in my position and just thought fuck it just start a new.
i pay over £300 week in bills.
Just want to get out
Sounds a total nightmare
22-08-2008, 12:14 PM
#101
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other than that - glad to hear you came through it ok
22-08-2008, 12:22 PM
#102
just finding my feet
I know nowt about this lark but that sounds a piss take. Can you not via the CSA suggest she is spending money on herself and instead pay in vouchers for places like mothercare, woolies, sainsburys etc? At least then she cant fook off down the pub and get wankered with her new bloke on your hard earned.
other than that - glad to hear you came through it ok
other than that - glad to hear you came through it ok
hence its NOT about funding the kids but ALSO funding mummy till she gets a job,,,, who WONT get a job cause shes happy to be at home for 10 years claiming off daddy
REASON we know this is WHAT EVER she gets off daddy,,,, she LOOSES in her benifits
she gets 100 quid a week, she gets her benifits dropped by 100 quid a week
its NOTHING to do with paying for the kid !
22-08-2008, 01:04 PM
#104
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jesus - what a fucking shambles.
Id be playing the card that if she cant afford to suport the kids herself they should come and live with you card. Shocking state of affairs. Maybe Ranjster has a point ^^^^^
Id be playing the card that if she cant afford to suport the kids herself they should come and live with you card. Shocking state of affairs. Maybe Ranjster has a point ^^^^^
22-08-2008, 07:42 PM
#106
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Take the phone away and anything she can run big bills up with thats a start tell her to pay for her own cancer habit if she dosent like it show her the door , been there showed her the door boy did she change !!!!
22-08-2008, 10:42 PM
#108
If it were me and i had my own kids id probably take the ex shopping weekly as shes unlikely to drive on benefits so theres reasons of practicality as well as knowing the money goes in the right place, plus making things up with costs such as clothing, kids toys, furniture etc.
Flaw with that is having a civil relationship with your ex seems to be uncommon these days.
22-08-2008, 11:04 PM
#109
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:I was in a relationship for 13years (met him at 13,engaged at 17 married at 21) i walked away last year after 13years of being together for the near on same reason except it was my husband that did the running up of bills etc etc then the cheating started im not gonna steal your thread but you can see where its all going
you have to do what is right for you but i really do think you need to bring it to her attention as others have said and see where that gets you might be a sharp enough kick up her back side to realise...
22-08-2008, 11:22 PM
#110
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yeaa yeaa u ramble on ya fat ugly stinkin twat face! if ya didnt poke ya nose in other peeps bizz! ud ov seen it was her that started all this bollox! fukin dingy go fuk ya self! oh sorry forgot u cant u havnt seen ur own lil nob for years ya fat fukin hairys cammels 4skin
22-08-2008, 11:38 PM
#111
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yeaa yeaa u ramble on ya fat ugly stinkin twat face! if ya didnt poke ya nose in other peeps bizz! ud ov seen it was her that started all this bollox! fukin dingy go fuk ya self! oh sorry forgot u cant u havnt seen ur own lil nob for years ya fat fukin hairys cammels 4skin
22-08-2008, 11:47 PM
#112
Too many posts.. I need a life!!
yeaa yeaa u ramble on ya fat ugly stinkin twat face! if ya didnt poke ya nose in other peeps bizz! ud ov seen it was her that started all this bollox! fukin dingy go fuk ya self! oh sorry forgot u cant u havnt seen ur own lil nob for years ya fat fukin hairys cammels 4skin
Have some respect.
22-08-2008, 11:53 PM
#113
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works the same for finding the wrong male to:
I was in a relationship for 13years (met him at 13,engaged at 17 married at 21) i walked away last year after 13years of being together for the near on same reason except it was my husband that did the running up of bills etc etc then the cheating started im not gonna steal your thread but you can see where its all going you have to do what is right for you but i really do think you need to bring it to her attention as others have said and see where that gets you might be a sharp enough kick up her back side to realise...
:I was in a relationship for 13years (met him at 13,engaged at 17 married at 21) i walked away last year after 13years of being together for the near on same reason except it was my husband that did the running up of bills etc etc then the cheating started im not gonna steal your thread but you can see where its all going
you have to do what is right for you but i really do think you need to bring it to her attention as others have said and see where that gets you might be a sharp enough kick up her back side to realise...Benni.
22-08-2008, 11:57 PM
#114
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23-08-2008, 12:04 AM
#115
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yeaa yeaa u ramble on ya fat ugly stinkin twat face! if ya didnt poke ya nose in other peeps bizz! ud ov seen it was her that started all this bollox! fukin dingy go fuk ya self! oh sorry forgot u cant u havnt seen ur own lil nob for years ya fat fukin hairys cammels 4skin
this guys a legend.....
roosie just think, its not all bad, lucky you aint this dude. altho he is a legend
23-08-2008, 12:19 AM
#116
PassionFord Post Whore!!
23-08-2008, 02:20 AM
#118
DEYTUKURJERBS
23-08-2008, 06:20 AM
#119
cheers for all comments guys. had a little talk with her last night i think she maybe seeing sense but then again it just feels like de ja vu she will be ok for a few weeks and then she will start moaning again. ive told her to do more hours at work if she wants luxerys and im deffo not paying for fags anymore.