Paulo P

One of my mates split up with his wife a few years ago and things a bit messy between them.

He was paying her maintenance for the kids which was about £200 a month more than she was entitled to and the money wasn't being spent on the kids but she was always in new clothes, hair done etc. He decided to work out what he should be paying legally and has cut the amount he gives her and keeps the rest back for clothing his kids when he sees them.

This is where it now gets complicated. He wants to take his boys on holiday in the summer because she never takes them away (always goes away and leaves the boys with him) and she's now told him he can't have their passports until he pays her the rest of "her" money

In that situation what can you do?

Dicko&Vacant

iTrader: (3)

not a lot other than him claim for new passports saying the old ones have been " lost "

which would mean she cant use them if she decides to take them away as they are no longer valid.

Only way around it afaik

Paulo P

To get new passports he would need their birth certificates though and she won't release those either.

Surely it can't be legal to blackmail him like this?

Rick Astley

Nothing better than advice straight from the horses mouth!

http://www.ips.gov.uk/passport/contact-general.asp

Tim

alan12112

it's not legal and if he is paying her enough money (in the eyes of the law) whats her problem?

Get a solicitor involved and get all the extra money he has given her back off the bitch!

Whats the agreement with the kids? Is he allowed to see them once a week or something?

Sunil_FiestaRS1800

iTrader: (1)

Dont need birth certificates. I didnt when i got my passport renewed a month ago so would of thought it would be the same for a replacement

Paulo P

100% legal and he still pays her more than the minimum he is allowed to pay her. The problem is that he's not subsidising her lifestyle anymore. When they split he let her have the house but she squandered the equity and sat on her arse instead of working.

He has the kids one night per week and every other weekend.

Thanks for the link, I'll pass it on.

Paulo P

Wasn't that because it was a renewal though? In this case he would have to apply for new ones but I'd guess they would have to go to the ex's address anyway.

Stavros

Take them away in his hand luggage

Paulo P

LMAO I think they might be a bit big for that

I should also mention that this nice person stopped his parents from seeing them when they were over from Portugal recently They don't come over often so the kids were stopped from seeing their Grandparents and likewise Luckily they were still in the country the following weekend when he had the kids but had to travel back down south to see them.

alan12112

Blackmail is not legal mate no way and that was what I was saying is not legal

Nash_mr2

slap the b!tch and strangle her till she turns blue, then when she's just about to pass out, let her go...then when she comes back round, Slap her again and then strangle here again......repeat the process untill te desired items are aquired.

Paulo P

I know it's not legal but are the Police likely to get involved? At the moment the only way she will hand over the passports is if he gives her "her money"

Nash_mr2

take a dicta phone or a hidden cam, and get him to actually record her saying the words "i'll give you the passports if you give me XXX ammount of money" - thats extortion and it's illegal

if he is currently paying her a set ammount of money, determined by a court of law, she cannot, without legal backing, demand more money at will.

if he can get a recording, this would give him a great case to put forward to receive better custody of the boys.

Turbosystems

iTrader: (5)

phone trisha or Jeremy kyle

Nash_mr2

jeremy kyle LOL

"ure a bad father....get the faaackkkk ooffff my show!..........i'm jeremy kyle"

Dicko&Vacant

iTrader: (3)

ah yes, he will.

She sounds like a right cow

Nash_mr2

it's extortion....not blackmail

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/extortion

Paulo P

I gather that most of their communications are done by text or phone so that could be handy. When she discovered that he'd dropped the payment amounts he had 34 missed calls from her in his lunchbreak

Dicko&Vacant

iTrader: (3)

she sounds like a proper bitch, i would be tempted to drag her through the courts to see if he could get anywhere, as surely at least then she cant have him over a barrel like she has at the minute

JamesH

iTrader: (21)

Hope your mate gets it sorted!

Nash_mr2

i'd make copies of the TXT's and i'd record the calls - she wouldnt expect that at all - she doesnt care, all she wants is the money.

he's definately got a case for the CSA if he can get evidence of her demanding money

Paulo P

She's not a nice person by all accounts. I've never met her but I have heard from people that have.

I think the best way to resolve this is to go through the courts and she was threatening that but I don't think that will happen before he is due to take the kids on holiday. I can't believe a Mother can treat her kids like that It is not like he is an irresponsible father either, I could understand that. This is all about the money.

By the way forgot to mention the reason he started looking into the payment amounts was because she repeatedly threatened him that if he didn't pay more, pick the kids up & drop them off etc and meet her demands he wouldn't ever see them It's when he looked into it and what his kids were dressed in that he decided to take some action and he is still paying her more than he is legally entitled to give her.

Smiggy

Take them to Skegness.

Nash_mr2

thats a sure fire way to make a child never want to see either parent ever again...

take them to Pria de Luz..........

Paulo P

lol. The flights are already booked for the holiday

Nash_mr2

how old are the kids?, why doesnt he say to them "this is what a passport looks like *show passport*, you know where mummy keeps them dont you?.......well if you go find them, daddy will take u on holiday"

Markb_s1

i fucking hate women that do stuff like this!

Dicko&Vacant

iTrader: (3)

i dont understand how someone could be so spiteful towards their kids by depriving them of time with their father, she doesnt deserve them with an attitude like that

Mrs T

i would maybe start taking legal action on her to let her know he is not going be messed around anymore

Markb_s1

that'd take a while though i imagine. might not help on this occasion but could do in the future.

Smiggy

No so good. Got a mate going through a similar situation. She drops the kids off regular at his at the drop of a hat so she can go out on the piss with her pals. Gives him no notice. Even if he's already got plans he cancels to look after them as he just wants as much time as possible with them. Yet when he asked to take them away for a long weekend she dragged her heels and made things impossible for him. Then to rub salt in the wounds, the weekend that he had planned to take them away she turned up on the friday night dropped the kids off, said she'd pick them up in the morning and never appeared until the sunday night. No phonecall/text nothing. My mate and the kids were tied to the house the whole weekend as they couldn't get a hold of her and were scared to leave as she'd kick off if they weren't there when she arrived. He could of had them away the weekend.

He was paying her extra money as well, but he's stopped now.

Paulo P

The kids are 5 & 8 I don't get how anyone can treat their kids like this over money

That would be so funny and a big fuck you if the kids did find the passports She would have nothing to use then.

Paulo P

It will happen and it will help out in the long run but they are going away at the end of August so time isn't on his side now.

Paulo P

That sounds very similar, I wonder if she has a sister down south

DazC

iTrader: (1)

I'd try and encourage the kids to find them while their mother isn't watching them!! If they know there is a holiday in it, they will find them if they have to. Kids won't care if they benefit..

Billabong

But then she'll probably say he's absconded with the kids....

markk

iTrader: (2)

this happened to a friend of mine/my wifes. got permission of his childs mother to bring his son to mauritius with us when we got married for two weeks, flights where late on the way back by 8 hours so she called the police to say he had run off with him - fookin bitch.

Ginge !

i know its hard but theres fuck all REALLY you can do, its not fair on the kids but they WILL know the truth in the future

hes gonna have to loose the holiday and just wait till there old enough, tell him to put a bit away "hidden" then when he can tell her hes taking them to somewhere in europe but take them to australia,,,, women are proper cunts when they have kids im afraid,,,,, its the ONLY way they can fight

LOADS of guys go through this, my mate had to get back with hes missus to see hes fucking kid belive it or not,,,,,, that was HER rules too even though SHE threw him out on to the street,,,, she discovered life is hard without money

tell him to get on with it best as he can and NEVER slag there mum off infront of them,,,, when they are older they will SEE the truth,,, NEVER lie to your kids then you never have to explain yourself

sorry to hear this though

indycos

iTrader: (2)

give her a fuckin slap sounds like she really does deserve it. equal rights and all that