Whats the most random text you have had recently?

Got one this morning from my ex g/f of 2 g/fs ago,asking when we last had sex?! Bearing in mind I split up with her 2 years ago!

I replied simply with "dont have a bloody clue" to which she sent me a text back saying "well shows how fucking much the relationship meant to you then if you cant remember" fucks sake get a grip woman it was 2 whole years ago and im onto my 2nd g/f since

 

Sounds like she been to the g.u.m. clinic to me. Tell her to fook right off!

 

Man you was in there and you blew it

 

Just what I was thinking

My sister sent me a text the other day saying "are you on your mobile in a phone box?" , confused the fook out of me as was recovering from a bender

Bri.

 

The reply from you should then have been 'Sorry but it was that shit my brain blocked it out, so i cant remember. You up the spout or something?'

 

So are you going to nail it again.

 

Not with the fucking reply he sent

 

Trust me I wouldnt go there again im well happy with my current girlie plus this ex is a psycho depressive bitch and the thought of her naked acctually makes me want to spew (i started to realise this when I was with her which resulted on me cheatin on her with my boss who was 15 years older than me )

Edit: Not to mention shes piled the beef on since we split as well shes HUGE now compared to when I was with her

 

Ahh but a blowjob is a blowjob mate

or you dont look at the mantlepiece when your poking the fire as my dad says when you've shagged a munter

 

Just noticed your local, got her number