Excelso

I really need some help on relationships. I am in a relationship, I have 2 kids. In this relationship i have 2 children aged 10 and 4

I have met another girl and she is 9 years younger than me, but aside from that I really like her. I havnt slept with her, i really value her for a person that she is.

She has no kids, she works for me, and so far we have only kissed and spent 5 hours on the phone chatting. I love my missus but am NOT in love with her if that makes sense.

Aside from that theres a number of issues, that I dont want go into as other people i know may read this , hence my unique name, and there wont be any replies as i dont want to be known.

All I want is some honest views as to how anyone else has to offer if they have been through this ie mortgage , houses, kids and how to deal with this.

I have fallen for her in a big way and I want to be with her. Advice please people.

Thanks for reading, My heads really messed up.

Turbosystems

iTrader: (5)

sounds like a case of the little head ruling the big head
an erect penis had no concience

Physio

So your gonna throw away a long term relationship (kids involved too) for someone who you think your in love with?

Are you sure you dont just 'think' your in love with her because it's something new?

Good luck with whatever you do but the kids will be the ones who get caught in the middle of it all.

zippyobrien

iTrader: (2)

wake up man

my dad walked out on me, he is now a cunt, end of,

youve been with her 10 years and willing to throw that, and 2 kids away, for what is a potential fling,

sack her, go on a bender and forget the whole thing,

just my opinion

Karl

Your children are your biggest responsibility in life, and if you don't love your partner but still get on fine, then I would suggest you stay together for the sake of your children as they are the innocent victims here!

ProjectBobcat

TSM you beat me 2 it, i dont reckon it would last with this new girl, youre better off trying to rekindle things with your wife, esp since youve got kids.

Turbocabbie

think you should have a break from your missus and this other woman... it would be good to spend some time with yourself rather than shack up with the first bit of excitement in a skirt that gets the hormones raging.
To leave your missus for another woman is devastating and not fair on anyone including the new bint who will be seen as the man snatcher or the kids..

Personally speaking things like this rarely have a happy ending, you need to think about your position with the kids, if you intend to let them carry on living with the missus you will ultimately miss out on some of the growing up of your kids... and how will you feel if she meets another fella and takes them into the family home..

What happens if your young bit of skirt wants kids in a few years... how do you feel about that ?

Personally it sounds a bit midlife to me...... See you on Trisha

Fiddy

mate you might think this sounds daft, but is it not just a crush ? like something new because you have been with your missus for so long. how is your relationship with your missus, i know you said your not in love with her, but do you have a bad relationship in general, because imo, its the kids you need to think about, if you and your missus have a bad realationship, that aint good for the kids, so parting might be the rite thing to do, but if its just a case of your relationship has gone a bit stale, which most relationships do at some point, i wouldnt throw it all away for a crush.

good luck with whatever you choose.

Ginge !

mate get rid of the bird you like and then try a trial seperation,,,, if you aint in love with the missus another bird AINT gonna help that

id NEVER judge a person who wanted to end a relationship if there not happy asits the RIGHT thing to do ASLONG AS YOU HAVE TRIED TO SORT THINGS OUT !!!!

what you DONT want is you to loose your relationship with your kids and that WILL happen no mater what you think

but ffs give the other bird the elbow as its just a running away security you have found

you never know you may not like being without her or notice things she doies you never noticed before and may make you appriciate her

NEVER stay in a relationship if you aint happy,,, but ALWAYS work at the relationship as there was one at the start and something stopped it,,,, find what it was and see if it can be fixed its not like a car

the MAIN thing is doing it this way you will be able to look you kids in the eye and say the TRUTH that you tried and it never worked rather than you kids thinking you left THEM for another bird

Ginge !

karl you always give GOOD advice but thats the WORST advice ive seen

why should anyone put up with anything for there kids,, your kids deserve respect and not to be lied to,,,, thats just a lie all thats gonna happen is hes either gonna cheat on his missus or worse when they get older they break up and thats worse i think

tbh my parents are together out of convinience as they do NOTHING together anymore and always apart yet live together as they think marrige is a jail sentance ect


honesty with kids and hard work on relationships,,, if it dont work out then you know the answer but you tried all you can

Robski

more than likely what will happen is,you will leave your missus for this"younger" girl that is basically an ego trip for an ageing man,she will get bored as you are now "not with somone"(and the challenge is now dead) and dump you,saying something like"my feelings for you have changed...sorry!"and you are left in shit creak without a paddle....the old phrase"the grass isn't greener on the other side" has ALOT of substance!!

zippyobrien

iTrader: (2)

personally, even if you hated your misses,

you should stay in the same house till your kids are grown, or at least teenagers,

statistics say that children are twice as likely to become criminals, or commit crimes. become anti social, when thay come from a single parent house hold,

and i agree %100

buy a porche???
might cure it for a bit

Dan

Don't agree at all Karl!

If two people don't get on and arn't in love then you can't stay together for the kids! The atmosphere won't be great and theyll pick up on it!

My friend was in EXACTLY that position, him and his wife just fell out of love, they tried to stay together for 2 years but pretty much lead seperate lives, now they have divorced they are much better friends and the kids are fine!

Don't go fucking something you have up for something you 'think' you feel though mate!

Robski

another point.....NEVER stay in a realtionship"just for the kids"....children arn't stupid,they can see the friction in an unsettled relationship.....if its that bad,then you should move on.......but tread carefully!!

Turbosystems

iTrader: (5)

u having a mid life crisis then

Robski

one last thing,does this new girl feel AS STRONGLY as you do?...you may feel like shes the bee's knees,but....does she feel the same?......i wish you luck in whatever path you choose!

Ginge !

bollox my missus parents grew up apart and she had a rough time due to the issues of it,,, shes law biding,,, my one of my mates is a full time drug dealer and his mum works as a nurse in a hospital and his dad is a caretaker and owns 4 houses he rents,,,,

may parents live together and well ive been bad in my youth


infact the stats are bollox and the reality is bad parenting is what makes criminals,, people who have kids yet dont make time for them and the reality is people who dont make time for there kids also dont make time for relationships due to no interest in there kids so thats where the stats are made out to be correct

take time to listen and be with your kids and you wont be a criminal

hell one of the people i grew up with his old man was a drug dealer and used to arrange illigal raves ect,,,, he got his mum pregnant as he was shagging her but they was never together,,, hes a football coach in the states for kids with special needs,, hes dad done right by his son and when we all got nicked for the first time hes old man nutted his kid infront of us and pinned us up against the wall,,,,, we was too scared to let him do anything bad incase he nutted us next time

zippyobrien

iTrader: (2)

the ones who have said dont stay together for the kids,

i assume your parents are still together,
having been a child in the position, its fucked, i dont even talk to my dad now, as far as im concered hes dead, pure cunt.

think about it, lots.

when your son or daughter cant look at you in the eye, or tells you they wouldnt even come to your funeral, will it have been worth it ?

Benni

My girlfriends dad walked out on her when she was 7 so I kind of know how you feel mate. The letters I have seen that she wrote to him have broken my heart. She tells me 10 years on she is well over him but she is not and it shows alot and it breaks my heart everytime. Luckily now she has a step dad who she calls dad and he treats her like she is an angel.

mark

dont stay with ya misses for the kids

dont just give up on things for a quick bit of fun

zippyobrien i have never met my dad he left when i was one i have a famly now and if i wasent happy id leve to but id make sure the kids was ok

Ginge !

mate no offence but i dont actually like my parents,,,, my old man kicked me out when we kept having rows and i got stabbed cause of him fronting the local kids

did your dad make time for you or just leave and fuck off

HUGE difference, my best mate has 2 kids with 2 seperate girls, hes a better dad than i am and hes closer to his kids than i am,,,, and im VERY close to my little girl but they treat him like hes star all the time when they see him

spend time with your kids and they will turn out right,,,, ignore them and they may turn out ok in the end but they will make more mistakes than they should and hold them back

Robski

WRONG!!!! MY PARENTS SPILT WHEN I WAS LIKE 7......and even then,i knew someting wasn't right....and i dont talk 2 my dad or will go 2 his funeral,,,,for one reason......when they split,he couldnt give 2 f**ks about seeing me,it all seemed a chore to him.......but still i will say,NEVER stay for the sake of a kid.....i was far happier when my dad left and the tension in the house ceased!

zippyobrien

iTrader: (2)

im lucky to have had a good step dad,
and hes been fucking brilliant, and whiped my arse at every oppertunity to keep me on the straight and narrow (sorta fucked that up recently,)

id tell my mum it doesnt bother me, but i supppose it does,
the only time it bothers me is when some one says, you look just like your father

rather saw my own cock of witha butter knife than be affiliated to that prik

zippyobrien

iTrader: (2)

i must admit im biased, as in my situation, my dad walking out was kind of the last time he evered bother to see me properly, this was about, oo 13 years, im 17 next month

if its genuinly that bad with your wife and youve tried the marrage thearapy and all that shit,then leave, but not to run off with the secratary or what ever she is, will make your kids hate you, and then its game over

Robski

mate,think about it.....instead of hating when someone says you look like your father.....just think to yourself"i'll NEVER be like you(him)"...thats what i've done,and always will do....and hence why i can hold my head up high!

Charlie Chalk

iTrader: (1)

Play the game, stay with your missus AND fuck the other girl....


I would!

Benni

You have to watch that the mum don't stop you from seeing your children and poison the children into believing that you have left and don't care about them anymore. Alot of the time the children are used to get one over on the other half and to score points etc. Whatever happens your children should always come first no matter what.

Benni.

Ginge !

lots of people do and the guilt improves there rrelationship ive heard

but this aint in the kids best interest and you ALWAYS get found out in the end

Robski

a rather immature response,i think....the truth ALWAYS come out eventually!!

Charlie Chalk

iTrader: (1)

Lighten up....

Robski

its someones future.....its not a joke!!

Charlie Chalk

iTrader: (1)

I never said it was a joke....

Ginge !

radders has a point even if i dont agree with it,,,, its another idea but its risky but LOTS of people do that


heres another question,,, how do you feel about another man being with your wife,,,,, think of it that way too

Charlie Chalk

iTrader: (1)

If your seeing the other girl too, at least you can get to know her inside out (litterally! ) before you make the big move of splitting with your wife..

Give it a go...

zippyobrien

iTrader: (2)

fair play radders loool,

Robski
i no what your saying,
and i try when ever possible, but its hard,

i cant say the best advice to give you, not sure any off us can,

go see a marrage guidence person,
or have you actually spoke to your wife about your thoughts (not about the slapper on the side)

Turbosystems

iTrader: (5)

another classic example of the grass is greener

zippyobrien

iTrader: (2)

agree withT S M,

i split with a bird couple months ago cus she werent putting out, and regret it all the time, and drives me insane to see her with other people,
so imagine how it owuld be for you after 10 years

Anonymous

This must be a piss take. If its not why ask on a internet forum? Have you not got a mate you can talk to?

Benni

So he tells a mate. If his mates tells his sister who accidently tells there cousin who was in the salon when his wifes sister was in he will get his dick cut off.

Anonymous

Why does he have to broadcast on the net? Fuckin hell just live with it.