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Desperate advice wanted on relationships...

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Old 03-06-2007, 11:52 PM
  #41  
Benni
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Originally Posted by DRE1983
Fuckin hell just live with it.
That's the whole fucking reason he is here. He doesen't know who to fucking live with.
Old 03-06-2007, 11:53 PM
  #42  
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LOL at all the relationship posts on here lately, its like the agony column in a woman's magazine!
Old 03-06-2007, 11:55 PM
  #43  
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Originally Posted by THEYGOTMETOO
LOL at all the relationship posts on here lately, its like the agony column in a woman's magazine!
While your here, I have one in the muppet room if you could take a look, LOL.
Old 03-06-2007, 11:55 PM
  #44  
Karl
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In response to those who criticised my advice:

The advice I gave is not bad advice at all. The grass is NEVER greener, all that will happen is the kids will lose one parent. Notice I did say "as long as you still get on fine."

Love is a fickle thing that often gets confused as lust. A lasting friendship and a stable family are the basis of a good stable life.
Old 03-06-2007, 11:56 PM
  #45  
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Why the fuck dont he write to Dear Dierdre(sp). My point is why put this shit on here?
Old 04-06-2007, 12:00 AM
  #46  
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Why the hell you'd ask for anything substantial life coaching wise (by that I man anything above advice on what colour to paint your wheels) on an internet forum baffles me!

Surely your own logic system exists for the answering of these questions? Or not..
Old 04-06-2007, 12:01 AM
  #47  
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because men are paraniod and weak, and your own mind becomes evil, i think he was hoping wed all agree one way witch makes it easyer to make up your mind,

obviously, thats never gunna happen on this forum looool
Old 04-06-2007, 12:08 AM
  #48  
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advise from people who you dont know and dont know you can be useful at times

hell ive got one mate i trust with stuff like this, if i never had him i would prob post it on here for a version of others thoughts

the guys obv in state and aint got anyone he trusts with this,,, to talk down and make fun of him is bollox,,, not everyone has a great relationship and not everyone is good at making desisions


karl i understand your advice but its wrong and unfair to everyone
Old 04-06-2007, 12:12 AM
  #49  
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Originally Posted by Ginge !
advise from people who you dont know and dont know you can be useful at times
I was under the impression he was a member here but made a new account as he wants to be unknowm.
Old 04-06-2007, 12:22 AM
  #50  
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nothing wrong with karls advice imo
Old 04-06-2007, 12:24 AM
  #51  
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Originally Posted by T S M
nothing wrong with karls advice imo
I think it is the best advice given so far.
Old 04-06-2007, 08:57 AM
  #52  
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sometimes the advice given by total strangers helps more than what your closest friends might say, why should someone not ask ??? no real problem is there??? advice is free but making your own mind up with the wrong decision could ruin everything.
the grass is sometimes greener on the other side but you need to be 150 % right in your decision ... as you well know if you get it wrong....
how does she feel about you?? can she put up with your snoring or sweaty feet etc etc you get the idea, relationships need to be worked at you can't just expect them to bumble along and everything is ok...
look deeply into your heart and think about your current relationship.. is it really worth loosing what you have as you alone have to make the decision in the end....
Old 04-06-2007, 09:35 AM
  #53  
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Originally Posted by zippyobrien
personally, even if you hated your misses,

you should stay in the same house till your kids are grown, or at least teenagers,
No you should not. If a household is not happy then there is no point in protending to be happy. I waited over 10 years for my cunt parents to call it a day. Life would at home would have been so much happier had the selfish cunts split up earlier as when they did do it eventually I was too old for it to make any real difference.

A family should only stay together if it right. Else split up and move on. Remember we only have one life, no point in spending a large part of it miserable.

As for the original poster, it don't sound like you got any real issues with your current woman and I reckon your happy. Your just thinking the grass will be greener and to be blunt your after a different cunt for your penis.

Go shag a hooker and/or sort out your sex life at home
Old 04-06-2007, 11:15 AM
  #54  
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dude....go rent a hotel room, get a acase of champagne, coupleof viagra, some bag....about 3 or 4 brasses..........fucking go rock star on there arse all night

get the crises out your system.......


then go home and be the best father and husband you can be


it will be a lot cheaper in the long run

pugo
Old 04-06-2007, 11:17 AM
  #55  
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Originally Posted by pugo
dude....go rent a hotel room, get a acase of champagne, coupleof viagra, some bag....about 3 or 4 brasses..........fucking go rock star on there arse all night
Old 04-06-2007, 11:23 AM
  #56  
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Originally Posted by Stavros
Originally Posted by pugo
dude....go rent a hotel room, get a acase of champagne, coupleof viagra, some bag....about 3 or 4 brasses..........fucking go rock star on there arse all night
pmsl
Old 04-06-2007, 11:24 AM
  #57  
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My advice is have a wank. If you still wanna talk to this new bird afterwards then go for her.

If not it aint worth it!
Old 04-06-2007, 11:27 AM
  #58  
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Originally Posted by Karl
Your children are your biggest responsibility in life, and if you don't love your partner but still get on fine, then I would suggest you stay together for the sake of your children as they are the innocent victims here!
i always thought that was the best case too, and i stayed in a relationship i didnt want to be in purely because of my 2 young kids, then i realised that id rather have 2 happy kids with happy single parents than 2 unhappy kids with unhappy parents.

I do think your being brash willing to throw a relationship away because someone has shown you attention however, the grass aint always greener on the other side. Im not sure how old you are, but is a 9yr age gap going to cause issues if you did have a relationship with this " girl "? it might seem like fun at the minute, your more than likely stuck in a rut with your wife

my advice would be to go and try to " fall back in love" with your wife, take her away, without the kids, and evaluate what you do have together, and see if you need to start both making an effort.
Its probably easy for me to say as im not married yet, but i always think you need to constantly make an effort with each other so there is always gonna be a spark between you both, cos lets face it when 2 people let go of everything, the relationship turns sour.

hope you do stay faithful and remain loving to your wife either way

Sarah
Old 04-06-2007, 07:36 PM
  #59  
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Originally Posted by SimonT
My advice is have a wank. If you still wanna talk to this new bird afterwards then go for her.

If not it aint worth it!
THAT is totally correct advice.

People dont seem to get that.

If you still give a shit 30secs after you cum, you obviously PROPERLY like her, if you not bothered and want to go watch football or go for a drive, its lust.

Its always the 2nd one for me it seems, im shallow

Good way of realising you only gutted about splitting with a bird cause she fit as too.
Old 04-06-2007, 08:59 PM
  #60  
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Think of this clearly. You split up with the mrs, your newer girl is always going to be paranoid about you doing the same to her. And in the same sense if morally she can get close to a married man with kids her priorities aren't in the right place.
My Mum ran off with my Dad's best m8 when i was 9. After years of arguing i have found out my Dad did the same several times with other women, in fact he was shagging his m8's wife while my Mum was with his best m8. I don't really have much to do with my parents now, in the end they both chose someone else over their 4 kids and because of this my head is screwed up.
I hate cheaters. In my first relationship i cheated, i look back now and think it was in my genes and as low as it sounds like something i had to get out of my system. My ex then cheated 3 times on me before i left.

Because of all this i live in fear of it happening again. I am currently living seperately from my current girlfriend for issues i have stated before. Basically i have put her through hell, wrecked my relationship with her family and caused my youngest Son to be pushed from pillar to post. Bacause of all this i am now trying to patch things up with my mrs and get things back to as normal as they can be.

What you need to realise is you think your kids will get over it, that it will have no lasting effect on it. But seriously it will fook their heads up just like mine. People fall out of love, its life unfortunately. You married this Woman for a reason, you had kids with her so you were obviously in love at some point so your main priority should be to try and sort this relationship out before you even think of another. Personnally i would be a miserable bastard and allow my mrs to go out cheating on me every night as long as the kids don't know about it just to watch my kids grow up.

My kids mean more to me than any silly little fling, and seriously you will look back and realise its the biggest mistake you will ever make in your life.
Old 04-06-2007, 09:30 PM
  #61  
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If you've been with your missus for ten years then the 'love hormones' will have worn off. These only last a couple of years and then they are replaced with endorphenes (spelling?) which are a pain killer!

This new bird is causing your brain to release the neurotransmitter dopamine which is telling you that you're in love. This will wear off as it only lasts between 9 months and 2 years then you will be right back in the same position you are in now but you will have lost a lot.

I'm not saying you should stay with your missus but don't leave her for this other bird. Make sure you are leaving her because you can't live with her anymore, not because some temporary chemical in your brain is effectively brainwashing you.

If you really, truthfully want to get thinking straight again you need to not see this bird anymore.

I think you posted here as you wanted people to say leave and be with this new bird. But, you might regret it long term if you did that. Many people go through what you're feeling right now, from talking to my colleagues experiences, and myself to a certain extent, we get this occassionally. Its part of life i'm afraid. Most people just put it out of their minds and carry on.

Best advice is to sleep with your wife as much as you can as this releases another hormone (the name of which escapes me - vasperin or something) and will rekindle the feeling of being in love with her.

Whatever you decide, good luck.
Old 04-06-2007, 09:33 PM
  #62  
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Just looked it up. Go to this site:

http://www.youramazingbrain.org/lovesex/sciencelove.htm

Remember, big head rules the little head. Its all in the mind!
Old 05-06-2007, 07:28 AM
  #63  
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ban him for having a second user account
Old 05-06-2007, 10:49 PM
  #64  
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Originally Posted by Jimboxr4x4
If you've been with your missus for ten years then the 'love hormones' will have worn off. These only last a couple of years and then they are replaced with endorphenes (spelling?) which are a pain killer!

This new bird is causing your brain to release the neurotransmitter dopamine which is telling you that you're in love. This will wear off as it only lasts between 9 months and 2 years then you will be right back in the same position you are in now but you will have lost a lot.

I'm not saying you should stay with your missus but don't leave her for this other bird. Make sure you are leaving her because you can't live with her anymore, not because some temporary chemical in your brain is effectively brainwashing you.

If you really, truthfully want to get thinking straight again you need to not see this bird anymore.

I think you posted here as you wanted people to say leave and be with this new bird. But, you might regret it long term if you did that. Many people go through what you're feeling right now, from talking to my colleagues experiences, and myself to a certain extent, we get this occassionally. Its part of life i'm afraid. Most people just put it out of their minds and carry on.

Best advice is to sleep with your wife as much as you can as this releases another hormone (the name of which escapes me - vasperin or something) and will rekindle the feeling of being in love with her.

Whatever you decide, good luck.

im not love expert but im sencing your not the romantic type


btw the people whp blame there parents for issues,,, ffs grow up and be a adult

we ALL have some form of shite childhood that fucks with our heads from loosing a parent, parents spliting up, getting raped/abused ect

you HAVE to move on and face it and stop blaming others ffs

hell a close friend of mine was told for 6 months her mum wasnt that ill and she will be comming home for christmas,,,,, to find out on christmas eve her mum LIED to her as she found it too hard to tell her kids shes been diagnosed as terminal and kept the lie going for aslong as she could,,, she and her family knew 6 months before her kids did who found out by a nurse by accident

she died 3 days later on the 27th of december,,,, now thats fucking cruel and a mind fuck of the tallest order as she HONESTLY thought her mum was comming home for christmas day since she spent 6 weeks in hospital


saying you parents split up fucked your life is fucking bollox if my mate can STILL celebrate christmas with her child and move forward with NO hate towards her parents

oh not to mention her mums last words was " tell your brother and sister i love them" as her mum was STILL trying to force her to dump her partner,,, yes on her death bed she tried to play mind games


fucking moan about mummy and daddy left me and now im fucked in the head,,, fucking please

oh btw shes doing well in life and aint got any issues and is one of the most caring parents i know,,,, infact i think it taught her to RESPECT her kids rather than fuck her up

seriously you try dealing with that shite and STILL not get head fucked ,,,, shes shown me how to learn to accept shite and move on i can promise you



oh and a guy i worked with in april missus went to meet him in the pub,, she was looking for it so he came outside and watched his girlfriend get mowed down by a motorcyclist as she was crossing the road and died INSTANTLY,,,, he had blood splat him on the face,,,,, hes finding it hard at the min but hes not fucked in the head about it and hes back at work now and moving forward,, he aint dewlling and thats one thing im not sure i could deal with


i could go on for days if i tried
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