The difference between Northerners
30-05-2007, 12:21 PM
#1
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The difference between Northerners
sooooo funny 
Signs that you're a Geordie
1. You call everyone "pet"
2. You think that crossing the Tyne to Gateshead requires jabs & a
passport
3. You think that anyone from below the Tyne drinks shandy & smells of
lavender
4. You call Newcastle "The Toon"
5. You think Eldon Square rivals both the Metro centre & Oxford Street
6. Anyone from Middlesbrough is a c**t
7. Anyone from Sunderland is a reet c**t
8. You only go to Whitley Bay for your summer holidays each year
9. The A1058 is the road to the coast
10. You still read Viz
11. You still find Viz funny
12. You call your lunch "bait" (pronounced baert)
13. Your speech is punctuated with "howay!" and "aye"
14. You think that Byker Grove should win a BAFTA
15. You also think that Ant and Dec have sold out and are now southern
shandy-drinking poofters
16. The A19 south is the road to ruin
17. Hexham, Ponteland and in particular Darras Hall are where you aspire
to live when you win the lottery
18. You would rather Man U won the FA cup if you had to choose between
them,Sunderland & Boro
Signs That You're a Mackem:
1. Shandy is an exotic cocktail
2. You would rather cut your own g*nitals off than support Newcastle or
The Boro
3. Anyone not from Sunderland is deeply suspicious
4. You tell everyone you're proud to be a mackem
5. You go to South Shields for your holidays each year
6. You aspire to live in Newcastle when you win the lottery
7. You drink Double Maxim from a half pint glass believing it to be
superior to Brown Ale
8. When you're away from the north, you drink Brown Ale in a half pint
glass because no-one knows what Double Maxim is, and Brown Ale is
northern, innit?
Signs that you're a Smoggie
1. You always refer to Middlesbrough as The Boro
2. If you're posh and from Middlesbrough, you pronounce it "Middlesbroe"
3. You know someone who knows someone else who knows Chubby Brown
4. You aspire to live in Yarm and Nunthorpe when you win the lottery
5. You have no job and no money, yet you dress only in the most
expensive designer clothes from Triads and Psyche
6. You call everyone "mate" (pronounced "mayert")
7. You know what a Parmo is
8. You think a Parmo is quality food
9. You think nothing of going everywhere by taxi
10. You beat up anyone who refers to you as a Geordie
11. Anyone from Sunderland is a right c**t
12. You're proud of the Riverside stadium, but you usually leave it just
after half time in despair
13. You refer to Sunderland's football ground as the Stadium of Sh*te
14. You tell everyone that Chris Rea is great, but secretly you hate him
15. You go to Redcar for your summer holidays...or Whitby if you're
feeling adventurous!
16. You don't trust anyone from Stockton, Hartlepool or Sunderland.
Especially Hartlepool cos they hang monkeys and are inbred.
17. If you've been out to dinner, you tell all your colleagues the next
day what you and your fellow diners had for each course.
18. You refer to your food as "scran" and blokes as "gadgeys"
19. You find shell suits deeply stylish
Signs that you're a Geordie
1. You call everyone "pet"
2. You think that crossing the Tyne to Gateshead requires jabs & a
passport
3. You think that anyone from below the Tyne drinks shandy & smells of
lavender
4. You call Newcastle "The Toon"
5. You think Eldon Square rivals both the Metro centre & Oxford Street
6. Anyone from Middlesbrough is a c**t
7. Anyone from Sunderland is a reet c**t
8. You only go to Whitley Bay for your summer holidays each year
9. The A1058 is the road to the coast
10. You still read Viz
11. You still find Viz funny
12. You call your lunch "bait" (pronounced baert)
13. Your speech is punctuated with "howay!" and "aye"
14. You think that Byker Grove should win a BAFTA
15. You also think that Ant and Dec have sold out and are now southern
shandy-drinking poofters
16. The A19 south is the road to ruin
17. Hexham, Ponteland and in particular Darras Hall are where you aspire
to live when you win the lottery
18. You would rather Man U won the FA cup if you had to choose between
them,Sunderland & Boro
Signs That You're a Mackem:
1. Shandy is an exotic cocktail
2. You would rather cut your own g*nitals off than support Newcastle or
The Boro
3. Anyone not from Sunderland is deeply suspicious
4. You tell everyone you're proud to be a mackem
5. You go to South Shields for your holidays each year
6. You aspire to live in Newcastle when you win the lottery
7. You drink Double Maxim from a half pint glass believing it to be
superior to Brown Ale
8. When you're away from the north, you drink Brown Ale in a half pint
glass because no-one knows what Double Maxim is, and Brown Ale is
northern, innit?
Signs that you're a Smoggie
1. You always refer to Middlesbrough as The Boro
2. If you're posh and from Middlesbrough, you pronounce it "Middlesbroe"
3. You know someone who knows someone else who knows Chubby Brown
4. You aspire to live in Yarm and Nunthorpe when you win the lottery
5. You have no job and no money, yet you dress only in the most
expensive designer clothes from Triads and Psyche
6. You call everyone "mate" (pronounced "mayert")
7. You know what a Parmo is
8. You think a Parmo is quality food
9. You think nothing of going everywhere by taxi
10. You beat up anyone who refers to you as a Geordie
11. Anyone from Sunderland is a right c**t
12. You're proud of the Riverside stadium, but you usually leave it just
after half time in despair
13. You refer to Sunderland's football ground as the Stadium of Sh*te
14. You tell everyone that Chris Rea is great, but secretly you hate him
15. You go to Redcar for your summer holidays...or Whitby if you're
feeling adventurous!
16. You don't trust anyone from Stockton, Hartlepool or Sunderland.
Especially Hartlepool cos they hang monkeys and are inbred.
17. If you've been out to dinner, you tell all your colleagues the next
day what you and your fellow diners had for each course.
18. You refer to your food as "scran" and blokes as "gadgeys"
19. You find shell suits deeply stylish
30-05-2007, 01:46 PM
#6
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Originally Posted by Dicko&Sarah
you'll get it cos your a northern girl helen
im an inbred apparently
Sarah
im an inbred apparently
Sarah
Its correct that all mackems are reet c**ts PMSL
I got a mate who already lives at Darras Hall too
You mean it isn't Trending Topics
30-05-2007, 03:01 PM
#11
DEYTUKURJERBS
Re: The difference between Northerners
Originally Posted by Dicko&Sarah
7. You know what a Parmo is
8. You think a Parmo is quality food
8. You think a Parmo is quality food
Was up at Teeside a while ago and this bird I know (who is fairly classy for a Northern Boro gyppo
) said to get a Parmo, and that it was the best food ever, and said where to get it from. The place had an itialian or whatever sounding name, and Parmo sounds a bit like Parma, so thought it was some italian shite.
Wrong
The place was some take-away owned by some italians, and it sure wasnt no posh food
Nice tho!
30-05-2007, 03:10 PM
#12
Originally Posted by Dicko&Sarah
your not a northerner thats why
it's not fucking corn or some sort of bird is it
my cousin said to me "do you want a cheese cob?"
"WFT is a cheese cob?"
"you know, a cob, with cheese"
and they are called ROUNDABOUTS not islands, islands are things you find in the sea and normally have volcano's and dinosaurs and stuff on them
some northerns were trying to give me directions:
"carry on straight and you'll come to an island"
"what?"
"an island"
"i want to drive there, not get on a ferry"
30-05-2007, 03:19 PM
#13
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Originally Posted by dojj
Originally Posted by Dicko&Sarah
your not a northerner thats why
it's not fucking corn or some sort of bird is it
my cousin said to me "do you want a cheese cob?"
"WFT is a cheese cob?"
"you know, a cob, with cheese"
and they are called ROUNDABOUTS not islands, islands are things you find in the sea and normally have volcano's and dinosaurs and stuff on them
some northerns were trying to give me directions:
"carry on straight and you'll come to an island"
"what?"
"an island"
"i want to drive there, not get on a ferry"
islands- wtf- theyre roundabouts
do you class yorkshire as north
30-05-2007, 03:21 PM
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Re: The difference between Northerners
Originally Posted by Stavros
Originally Posted by Dicko&Sarah
7. You know what a Parmo is
8. You think a Parmo is quality food
8. You think a Parmo is quality food
Was up at Teeside a while ago and this bird I know (who is fairly classy for a Northern Boro gyppo
) said to get a Parmo, and that it was the best food ever, and said where to get it from. The place had an itialian or whatever sounding name, and Parmo sounds a bit like Parma, so thought it was some italian shite.
Wrong
The place was some take-away owned by some italians, and it sure wasnt no posh food
Nice tho!
theyre damn tasty though
30-05-2007, 03:37 PM
#15
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Originally Posted by dojj
and they are called ROUNDABOUTS not islands, islands are things you find in the sea and normally have volcano's and dinosaurs and stuff on them
What fucking islands have you been to lately?
The island that time forgot? Jurassic Park?
I can assure you I've been to loads, and while the Isle Of Man may be a little weird, I didn't see one fucking dinosaur
30-05-2007, 04:53 PM
#20
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You wanna try being a "North Solihullian"....
As far as I am concerned they're Baps or Cobs- It says this on the packet.
They are NOT.
BREAD ROLLS
BARN CAKES
or
my personal favourite
from Coventry and Nuneaton way...
a
FUCKING
"BATCH"
I just want a chip butty mate, or kebab...
I dont want a batch of chips or a kebab batch- I just want the 1...
Not a fucking batch of them....
Jake
As far as I am concerned they're Baps or Cobs- It says this on the packet.
They are NOT.
BREAD ROLLS
BARN CAKES
or
my personal favourite
from Coventry and Nuneaton way...
a
FUCKING
"BATCH"
I just want a chip butty mate, or kebab...
I dont want a batch of chips or a kebab batch- I just want the 1...
Not a fucking batch of them....
Jake
30-05-2007, 05:14 PM
#23
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The bloke outside the shipyard sells sausage batches.
Took me ages to work out what the fuck he was on about. Turns out, it's a roll, with sausage in them. Which in Scotland we call, "A roll and sausage"
You English people, you're fucking weird you know that?
Took me ages to work out what the fuck he was on about. Turns out, it's a roll, with sausage in them. Which in Scotland we call, "A roll and sausage"
You English people, you're fucking weird you know that?
30-05-2007, 05:34 PM
#29
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its breaded chicken deap fat fried, covered in bechimel sause then covered in melted cheese 
Served with chips and salad, and laced with garlic sauce if your feeling brave
Served with chips and salad, and laced with garlic sauce if your feeling brave
30-05-2007, 07:50 PM
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Dont even get me fukkin started with bread...
In Lincoln we call em Bread Buns, but even between us and my mates in yorky towns even they have different names between Donny, Barnsley Bradford, Sheff... etc
Bread Rolls, Bread Cakes, Bread Buns, Barm cakes... etc etc, we've had so many drunken discussions about that subject.
In Lincoln we call em Bread Buns, but even between us and my mates in yorky towns even they have different names between Donny, Barnsley Bradford, Sheff... etc
Bread Rolls, Bread Cakes, Bread Buns, Barm cakes... etc etc, we've had so many drunken discussions about that subject.
30-05-2007, 07:53 PM
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Is Hexam posh? I had some mates from there they always said it was a dive...
Your only a Geordie if your born in a certain part of Newcastle arn't you? bit like cocknies being born within the sound of some bells or sommat?
Your only a Geordie if your born in a certain part of Newcastle arn't you? bit like cocknies being born within the sound of some bells or sommat?
30-05-2007, 10:19 PM
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Originally Posted by GTechR
Is Hexam posh? I had some mates from there they always said it was a dive...
Your only a Geordie if your born in a certain part of Newcastle arn't you? bit like cocknies being born within the sound of some bells or sommat?
Your only a Geordie if your born in a certain part of Newcastle arn't you? bit like cocknies being born within the sound of some bells or sommat?
Would say Darras Hall is a bit more on the posh side, as far as i know a lot of the footballers live there from what my mate tells me.