sooooo funny

Signs that you're a Geordie

1. You call everyone "pet"
2. You think that crossing the Tyne to Gateshead requires jabs & a
passport
3. You think that anyone from below the Tyne drinks shandy & smells of
lavender
4. You call Newcastle "The Toon"
5. You think Eldon Square rivals both the Metro centre & Oxford Street
6. Anyone from Middlesbrough is a c**t
7. Anyone from Sunderland is a reet c**t
8. You only go to Whitley Bay for your summer holidays each year
9. The A1058 is the road to the coast
10. You still read Viz
11. You still find Viz funny
12. You call your lunch "bait" (pronounced baert)
13. Your speech is punctuated with "howay!" and "aye"
14. You think that Byker Grove should win a BAFTA
15. You also think that Ant and Dec have sold out and are now southern
shandy-drinking poofters
16. The A19 south is the road to ruin
17. Hexham, Ponteland and in particular Darras Hall are where you aspire
to live when you win the lottery
18. You would rather Man U won the FA cup if you had to choose between
them,Sunderland & Boro

Signs That You're a Mackem:
1. Shandy is an exotic cocktail
2. You would rather cut your own g*nitals off than support Newcastle or
The Boro
3. Anyone not from Sunderland is deeply suspicious
4. You tell everyone you're proud to be a mackem
5. You go to South Shields for your holidays each year
6. You aspire to live in Newcastle when you win the lottery
7. You drink Double Maxim from a half pint glass believing it to be
superior to Brown Ale
8. When you're away from the north, you drink Brown Ale in a half pint
glass because no-one knows what Double Maxim is, and Brown Ale is
northern, innit?


Signs that you're a Smoggie

1. You always refer to Middlesbrough as The Boro
2. If you're posh and from Middlesbrough, you pronounce it "Middlesbroe"
3. You know someone who knows someone else who knows Chubby Brown
4. You aspire to live in Yarm and Nunthorpe when you win the lottery
5. You have no job and no money, yet you dress only in the most
expensive designer clothes from Triads and Psyche
6. You call everyone "mate" (pronounced "mayert")
7. You know what a Parmo is
8. You think a Parmo is quality food
9. You think nothing of going everywhere by taxi
10. You beat up anyone who refers to you as a Geordie
11. Anyone from Sunderland is a right c**t
12. You're proud of the Riverside stadium, but you usually leave it just
after half time in despair
13. You refer to Sunderland's football ground as the Stadium of Sh*te
14. You tell everyone that Chris Rea is great, but secretly you hate him
15. You go to Redcar for your summer holidays...or Whitby if you're
feeling adventurous!
16. You don't trust anyone from Stockton, Hartlepool or Sunderland.
Especially Hartlepool cos they hang monkeys and are inbred.
17. If you've been out to dinner, you tell all your colleagues the next
day what you and your fellow diners had for each course.
18. You refer to your food as "scran" and blokes as "gadgeys"
19. You find shell suits deeply stylish

 

pmsl

 

you'll get it cos your a northern girl helen

im an inbred apparently

Sarah

 

i didn't understand half of that

 

your not a northerner thats why

 

Yes i get all the Geordie one LOL

Its correct that all mackems are reet c**ts PMSL

I got a mate who already lives at Darras Hall too

 

You think a Parmo is quality food

You mean it isn't

 

parmos are class

 

quality

 

I'm glad you missed the scots out of that

 

PMSL! thats sooo right

Was up at Teeside a while ago and this bird I know (who is fairly classy for a Northern Boro gyppo ) said to get a Parmo, and that it was the best food ever, and said where to get it from.
The place had an itialian or whatever sounding name, and Parmo sounds a bit like Parma, so thought it was some italian shite.

Wrong

The place was some take-away owned by some italians, and it sure wasnt no posh food

Nice tho!

 

but you northerners call bread rolls "cobs"
it's not fucking corn or some sort of bird is it

my cousin said to me "do you want a cheese cob?"
"WFT is a cheese cob?"
"you know, a cob, with cheese"


and they are called ROUNDABOUTS not islands, islands are things you find in the sea and normally have volcano's and dinosaurs and stuff on them

some northerns were trying to give me directions:
"carry on straight and you'll come to an island"
"what?"
"an island"
"i want to drive there, not get on a ferry"

 

cobs are yorkshire aint they? i call em rolls

islands- wtf- theyre roundabouts

do you class yorkshire as north

 

thats cos everyone south of middlesbROUGH thinks a parmo is italian cheese

theyre damn tasty though

 

What fucking islands have you been to lately?

The island that time forgot? Jurassic Park?

I can assure you I've been to loads, and while the Isle Of Man may be a little weird, I didn't see one fucking dinosaur

 

 

Thats sssooooo funny




And 100% correct

Just a shame that the southern shandy drinking puffs wont get it

 

Geordie rule number 3 just confirmed

 

Lmao quality,

im also apparantly an inbred

 

You wanna try being a "North Solihullian"....


As far as I am concerned they're Baps or Cobs- It says this on the packet.


They are NOT.

BREAD ROLLS
BARN CAKES


or

my personal favourite

from Coventry and Nuneaton way...

a

FUCKING


"BATCH"



I just want a chip butty mate, or kebab...

I dont want a batch of chips or a kebab batch- I just want the 1...

Not a fucking batch of them....


Jake

 

The chicken parmo is the sole reason why i wnt move away from boro, i go cold turkey when i'm away working or on holiday

 

theres baps too if you go over liverpool way there "barm cakes" and they talk all funny so i never understand em anyway lol

 

The bloke outside the shipyard sells sausage batches.

Took me ages to work out what the fuck he was on about. Turns out, it's a roll, with sausage in them. Which in Scotland we call, "A roll and sausage"


You English people, you're fucking weird you know that?

 

parmo's are quality food!!

 

mattbibs

Good lad

 

and lol at no.4

grew up in redcar/marske and always referred to my aunt in yarm as the rich one!!

 

Fookin Class that like pet.

 

right whats a parmo lol

 

its breaded chicken deap fat fried, covered in bechimel sause then covered in melted cheese

Served with chips and salad, and laced with garlic sauce if your feeling brave

 

http://content.answers.com/main/cont...00px-Parmo.jpg

 

ah sends dirty but good if you get me lol can feel my arteries clogging from here lol

 

Rab;
I'm sure you'd have a square sausage batch though.
Square sausage should be against the law imo.

 

I live in Ponteland, I hate Mackems and say 'aye'

Must be a Geordie then?! Naawwww I'm not a Geordie!

 

i go riding at a spot and its run by a guy from sunderland and every other word is "canni" lol is quite funny to chat with him

 

I went out with a bird from Walkergate, couldn't understand a fooking word she said apart from "aye ya see you, ya cheekee little bastard, ya na - aa!!"

 

Dont even get me fukkin started with bread...

In Lincoln we call em Bread Buns, but even between us and my mates in yorky towns even they have different names between Donny, Barnsley Bradford, Sheff... etc

Bread Rolls, Bread Cakes, Bread Buns, Barm cakes... etc etc, we've had so many drunken discussions about that subject.

 

Is Hexam posh? I had some mates from there they always said it was a dive...

Your only a Geordie if your born in a certain part of Newcastle arn't you? bit like cocknies being born within the sound of some bells or sommat?

 

the chicken parmo is the sole reason I'm a fit bastard!!
had my first one in 1991 and that was it.



or if paul NYRS reads this

I'm glad I don't eat chicken parmo's or I would be a right fat bastard!



steve

 

 

Would say Darras Hall is a bit more on the posh side, as far as i know a lot of the footballers live there from what my mate tells me.