Naff Tuesday morning gag!
#1
Professional Waffler
Thread Starter
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A farmer goes out to his field one morning only to find all of his cows frozen solid.
As far as the eye can see are cows, motionless like statues.
It had been a cold night, but he'd never thought anything like this would happen.
The realisation of the situation then dawned on him.
With his entire livestock gone, how would he make ends meet?
How would he feed his wife and kids? How would he pay the mortgage?
He sat with his head in his hands, trying to come to terms with his impending poverty.
Just then, an elderly woman walked by, "What's the matter?" asked the old lady.
The farmer gestured toward the frozen cows and explained his predicament to the woman.
Without hesitation the old woman smiled and began to rub one of the cow's noses.
After a few seconds the cow began to twitch and was soon back to normal and chewing the cud.
One by one the old woman worked her magic on the cows until the whole field was full of healthy animals.
The farmer was delighted and asked the woman what she wanted as a repayment for her deed.
She declined his offer and walked off peacefully across the field.
A passer-by who had witnessed the whole thing approached the farmer.
"You know who that was, don't you?" asked the passer-by.
"No" said the farmer "Who?".
"That was Thora Hird."
As far as the eye can see are cows, motionless like statues.
It had been a cold night, but he'd never thought anything like this would happen.
The realisation of the situation then dawned on him.
With his entire livestock gone, how would he make ends meet?
How would he feed his wife and kids? How would he pay the mortgage?
He sat with his head in his hands, trying to come to terms with his impending poverty.
Just then, an elderly woman walked by, "What's the matter?" asked the old lady.
The farmer gestured toward the frozen cows and explained his predicament to the woman.
Without hesitation the old woman smiled and began to rub one of the cow's noses.
After a few seconds the cow began to twitch and was soon back to normal and chewing the cud.
One by one the old woman worked her magic on the cows until the whole field was full of healthy animals.
The farmer was delighted and asked the woman what she wanted as a repayment for her deed.
She declined his offer and walked off peacefully across the field.
A passer-by who had witnessed the whole thing approached the farmer.
"You know who that was, don't you?" asked the passer-by.
"No" said the farmer "Who?".
"That was Thora Hird."
#6
Professional Waffler
Thread Starter
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I can never remember anything from the pub on a Friday night mate. Somebody always steals my memory
In all fairness though whoever does it always leaves a headache and bad stomach in it's place
![Surprised](https://passionford.com/forum/images/smilies/bigcry.gif)
![Surprised](https://passionford.com/forum/images/smilies/bigcry.gif)
![Surprised](https://passionford.com/forum/images/smilies/bigcry.gif)
![Surprised](https://passionford.com/forum/images/smilies/bigcry.gif)
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rsguy
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