G2 FSR

Me and the EX missus split a few months back. We have a little 3 yr old boy who of which is my life. Now, between me and the ex, we arranged an agreement that suited both me and her in the way that was right to bring up our son, wether it be money, clothes, shoes, food for him. Now she's moving the goal post??? Because she's renting, has cataloges, credit cards, loan etc etc she now has decided that shes skint and has to take me to the csa . What fooks me off is the fact she's claiming nearly £600 which includes tax credit and child care allowance. Ive never had an issue with supporting my son wwith anything, i have him every weekend, and now she's decided she's skint, she now needs extra cash of me which will go into her bank account and spent on herself and not my boy

Im so so angry and really need advise

Ta, Gary

Anonymous

it was in the news last week that the csa are no more.

larks

its a hard one m8 i have an eight year old daughter and at one point her mother was alcoholic basically spending what she got off me through the csa on booze.Even when i finally managed to get my daughter off her through the socail i still had to pay maintence i cant remember the finer points but i had no way around it and they took the cash from my wages in the end
she sorted herself out in the end and things went back to as normal as they could but basically im afraid as long as she gets the cash the csa or goverment dont care what its spent on
Make sure you get proof of everything you pay or you will get charged back maintence and one thing she probably wont know is the more they take off you the less benefits she gets meaning she is worse off you are worse off and the whole thing stinks....

Lambchop

iTrader: (1)

how long do you have your son at the weekend?

My cousin gets his little girl in early eve of fri and returns her about the same time on a sun. His ex is a fucking bitch but thats another story
Anyway they have a nice agreement which suits them both but she's now asking for more also
funny thing is though the csa said he was actually due NOTHING due to the fact he had her all weekend!

dont give her more i reckon!

shane

I dont have children or anything but a lad i worked with split with his missus etc, at first they had a nice aggrement but when he met someone else and had another kid etc she got jealous and decided on revenge!

The CSA took all but £29 ponds of his wages every week it took him ages to sort it cus obviously he couldnt survive on that but until he got it sorted he had to pay or face getting locked up!

Basically the CSA are a load of shite,also im sure they are still active until a new agency can take over!

Tangodeltasierra3

You should have got your agreement signed up at 1st mate but i would take advice from a solicitor in family law for now.

G2 FSR

I have him from friday nite through to sunday evening. As she works weekend and i work during the wk? It suits me fine but she just wants wants wants

Katie

As above. Get professional legal advice.
If you cannot prove you have paid x amount towards the child you will be charged for backpay... so make sure you have documentation to support this contribution.
The money will be a % of your earnings as dictated by the scaling they use. She can't demand a certain amount unless that lies under the % they give....so her demanding £600 won't cut it unless they can see from your earnings that £600 is a fair claim.

wildheart

iTrader: (4)

Thdy are still going at the moment as i had a letter from them saturday

They are getting replaced with somthing more strict

Lets hear it for fathers for justice

Iain Mac

You guys are already doing the right thing and paying for your kids, but the government had to do something about all the deadbeats (male and female) who go around having kids with no means of supporting them.

Too many people think they can have their fun and let everyone else pick up the bill. The CSA was a nonsense from start to finish - just another fractured cog in an over-complex machine, but without the common sense to use the teeth they had, and not enough teeth to sort out some of the people they had to deal with.

As said above, the more the father pays the less benefit the mother gets, but that's OK by me - why should I (already struggling to pay my own bills) pick up the tab for all these other peoples kids?

Eagle

iTrader: (2)

the worst bit about the csa is they dont look at the fact you have to pay out on certain things .. loans, petrol, car tax (luxuries)
all they look at is what they think you need to live on .. then they take a huge amount of what you have left .

if the ex partner is on benifits etc then they will not get any more than they get now, the excess goes into topping up the governments bank balance.


because you have the child over the weekend you will get brownie points for it and it and they wont totally rape your bank account ..

you need to put the facts down that you spend however much every month on the child etc etc .. and slightly over inflate the costs, but definitly seek proper legal advice from the citizens advice bureau to start with .. they can then help you decide the best way to go .
you need to save every receipt that you spend out on, no matter if its a pint of milk or a pair of shoes, you need to prove that you spend out on the child every week looking after it ..
also NEVER NEVER give her cash, always pay her by bank transfer or cheque, that way you have a record of how much you have paid her and have proof.

this is the only time when being on low wages actually helps ...

a private agreement is the way to go all the time ..

if the csa is disbanded then there is talk of a harder unit being created to enforce the payments etc and will have more power than the csa ...
but what they forget is primarily the csa is totally flawed due to the way it works ... the only people making any good from it are the government.
if it has not worked in its current form how are they going to make it work by creating another agency ???

G2 FSR

Thanks for all your imput guys! Im gonna put alot of your advise into action now. Im not having her thinking she can use me as easy money for her debt. My son is my no.1 priority but i also need to live and run a house etc.

Thanks for the advise

seand

as the above said, make sure you keep all documentation of money you have given out!

best of luck!!

lisa10

Hiya

Is she working and claiming benefits like Income support because you can only earn £20 pounds a week when claiming that and if they dont know and they find out, shes in big trouble!!

Everyone has basically given good advice already, like you should get a reduction because you have your son every weekend which in my eyes is really great. If she was on Income support, she is not allowed to take any maintenance from you and if she did, they will take every bit, pound for pound off of her benefit.

Its a shame, things always appear amicable at first until the reality of living seperately kicks in and then often demands become unrealistic..


Good luck and hope you get it sorted but like everyone has said, keep receipts and proof of any payments..

At least you are devoted to your son which is more than some dads!!!


Lisa

dangerous - reyland

From the other side of the fence

My wife`s ex give her just under £500 a month for 2 kids + she gave up working (under his direction) to raise them
So has found it hard to get even part time work to fit in around school

He lives i a 1 bed apt - earns plenty> Sees the kids every other W/E & occasionally 2hrs in an evening (maybe once every 3 weeks) even though he lives 2 miles away
Has them for two/three weeks in summer & 1 week at Christmas

We have to provide a larger house, consider catchement areas for schools, clothes, clubs, friends, FOOD (fuck me they get through some grub ) loads of incidentals

I dont think its a great amount considering what it has to cover really

But Fuck him eh
It all come round in the end Kids aint stupid & will realise in time who did what for them