McPikie

Extracted straight from one of my client's witness statements. I know I shouldnt have (client confidentiality and all that) but the comedy value was imense:

When the accident happened I was a month away from getting married. We had a date set for ******. This date was important to both of us not just because it was to be our wedding day. But it was the day Elvis died and as he was one of our heroes we had decided to get married on this day as a token of our esteem for him.

However due to the accident I could not face the marriage looking as I did. I was very self conscious of the state of my face. I had totally lost all my self esteem, and I did not want people seeing my in this state so we cancelled the wedding.


How the fuck could he have any self esteem to start with, getting married to pay homage to Elvis

foreigneRS

elvis is the next best person to idolise after a marvel superhero

Paddy

Thats right, I plan to be christened into the local sect of scientology on the same date that the Fantastic Four took that fateful flight into space.

McPikie

I pull the pants down on the insurance industry and analy rape them with nasty, intrusive and downright aggressive letters



I do claims mate, had an accident, call us............... and all that bollocks that you see on channel 5 during the day when you phone in work sick for a laugh.

McPikie

Each insurance company has a number of solicitors firms on their "panel" They are usually some washed up, out of town practice where the partners charge out at Ł70.00 per hour. They try to take on the might of insurers such as Zurich and Norwich union and just get battered down on the client's damages award, usually under-settling the claim just so they can get paid on it.

We, however, charge out at appx Ł130 per hour and if they wont make a decent offer we will issue proceedings straight away and rip then thru the courts

Not shy about getting nasty with them either. They usually bottle it.

Norwich union wont insure me because of the firm I work for we took over 1million from them in costs for just one case last year because they tried to argue the toss in the House of lords. It cost them dearly and we actually got some parts of the law changed to aid client's

McPikie

Limitation is 3 years from the date of the accident mate.

They may have already issued a claim form with the court and asked for a stay on the same whilst they wait for medical evidence. They should have sent you some Particulars of Claim to agree and sign. I am sure they will sort it mate. And even if they dont and they miss limitation and it gets thrown out by a judge....................


You can sue them for proffessional negligence


I'd give them a call and get a quick update mate.

McPikie

No probs matey, just gimmie a shout if you want anymore advice

Oh, by the way, your momma is a fucking twin-tusked, leatherskinned fogbeast!! I think if you remember our chat I mentioned something about blue rinsed council cum-dumps just turning up at my house, un-invited. Tell her to go to a health farm and have em niptuck her mingelips up under her chin, tie her kneehanging tits round her waist and sculpt her with P38 bodyfiller til she looks halfway decent then she can come back.