Was over my local last night when in walks this arrogant twat that lives down the road and drives a bright orange E30 318i with a poorly fitting Motorsport kit on it!

He comes in and sits straight down and launches into a speech about some car he's got with a bored out V8 in it! Starts telling one of our dart team about how he's modded it. So I but in and ask what he's done to it....

Him, Oh yeah mate, i've got 16 Holley Carbs on it!

Me, Oh right

Him, It's been bored out aswell from a 5.4 to a 6.6!

Me, why bother, sounds abit much to me!

Me again, so you had it timed?

Him, yeah mate ive had 132mph from it!

Me, thats not much for an engine of that spec!

Him, Yeah but once I ran it on Aircraft fuel and I got 35-40mph more Top Speed!

Me, bollocks mate, your talking out your arse! What power does it make?

Him, you don't know what your on about mate, I reckon it will make 350 brake!

Me, whatever, is that at the Flywheel or the wheels?

Him, what you mean, you can only measure it in one way, on a rolling road!

Me, laughed in his face, picked me pint up and walked off!



People like these really get under my skin and wind me up! Mind you it's funny to make them look like twats!

If I remember anything else i'll post it up! lol

 

moron! lol

 

 

Least you put him in his place

Ive sat there nodding trying not be rude , trying to put it accross to him that they talk shite !

 

these fucktards are great are'nt they!

https://passionford.com/forum/viewto...154970&start=0

 

It's best to let them dig themselves a fookin great hole them kick them whilst their in it!

 

Remember seeing that one mate!

 

pmsl

I bet his mate had an RS500 as well. You know the one that came as standard with 500bhp

Had some cock tell me his Nova 1.3SR was chipped up And you just can't argue with these people.

 

Ma mate had his fair dose of that the other nite. Guy gets into his car and says nice car you got mate... 'Is that one of them civic r types?? ' Ma mate then goes on to correct him as you do. Ma mate then says im trading it in for the new focus. They guy says 'ohhhhhhh the new focus rs' Ma mate then corrects him again... No Focus ST...... Then he goes on about his Calibra...pmsl..... Tellin him how its the fastest thing since the formula 1 car.... In reality a L reg rust bucket!!I have no time for people like that.....

 

What about the guy at my local petrol station , pipes up and says cossy nice car mate , im like cheers , is it a 4x4 ? i relpy nope mate its 2wd / rwd , he then says ahhh right the 4x4`s are rapid u should try and get hold of one of them my mate has one 180mph no probs i take a deep breath and say yeah iL try and save up for a 4x4 lol

 

a chipped SR..... on a Poobreg Carb......

seen one like that before, claiming that he'd map'd his ECU for a set of twin 40 Webbers...... but Carbs dont use an ECU!

it would be like me saying my 1.6 GSi is a Cossie killer.... but it is.... Honest!

 

Funny that, had some twat in the same pub try and tell me that about his Pug 205, reckons he spent 2k on engine management so he could keep an eye on his carbs!

 

Toss Piece!

 

CS Gas them all

 

Why do they do it though. Surely they expect to eventually speak to somebody that does actually know about cars

 

WATCH THIS!!

http://videos.streetfire.net/Player....CE38C2D1D7&p=0

 

So true.........

 

A rotory engine with uprated pistons and headers. Dickhead

 

Surely it would be easier to just ask him if you could look under the bonnet Pub talk is easy to get around, just ask to see the proof

 

as long as there are people like us who know what goes on inside a car there will always be the people that have " been there and done that" its the way of the world...... i have to work with someone like that.

 

tell you what mate,ill get some aircraft fuel for you! give it to him to run it on,see how long the engine lasts! (ill give you a hint,it wont be long!)

 

had a guy in a uno turbo adament he'd whoop my arse if i raced him...i had my bonnet open at the time.....

his reasoning???? (whilst pointng to my charge carrier which has TURBO along it) my turbo is much bigger than that!!

once i stopped laughing he was getting back in his car.

 

 

He had his shitty E30 outside mate! Strangely he didn't tell me what car this was in!

 

my boss is funny, he thinks i know nothing at all about anything, and recons hes an expert! has come out with some totally bollocks comments today he was saying how he might put water injection on his merc CLK 230K....as the lower the inlet temps the more power they make....

"well yeah...but you only need water inje..."

"shut up stu, you dont know"



i just let him get on with it!

we had a blazing row the other day because i passed a comment about wiring up a set of spotlamps to a truck so they came on with main beam. he said it was illegal, and i made a comment about my xr2 having factory spots which go off the main beam....after 10 mins of argueing that xr2s and rsturbos did or didnt come with factory spots, he lost it and stormed off

 

Dont talk crap lads, My sisters boyfriend has a 186MPH astra GTE............................... Aparently

 

What? He's right If CLK's have high charge temps id not be suprsied if he would get a gain from them, rootes style chargers like they got are well known for decent gains with a correctly sized jet placed before the charger.

 

Oh dear.... Can of worms opened here!!!!!

while talking about bosses, my boss has tried to teach me how to drive....

"if your going to over take, get ont he WRONG side of the road to look, if clear overtake, means nothing can be alongside you when you go past!!"

2 points, 1, if there was something coming you'd be dead! 2, you should always check your blind spot!

After that i made sure he'd need a new gearbox on his Audi A4 Avant 2.5 V6 Tdi!

 

not to put too much of a downer on this,BUT....
i DO know of an e30 thats orange with a horrible kit on it thats running a big yank v8!

 

oh dear

 

is it really nessacary on a car like that though?! surely a better way of lowering ACTs would be to fit a decent intercooler...

dont really know a whole lot about the merc engines but i cant see a 2.3 lump that makes just shy of 200bhp having high enough ACTs to warrent water injection!! unless it was designed/developed poorly, which i cant see from a merc!

its just the way he said it that got me, water injection wouldnt be the first mod on my mind....

 

not seen how CLK engines are laid out, but most supercharged engines with rootes style blowers cant have an intercooler as they bolted directly to the inlet (check out jackson racing supercharged civics and focus for example) so water injection is the first/only choice.

dont be suprised how high charge temps will be either, esp if not intercooled theyd be v.high. ive seen standard intercooled turbo cars still have have temps well over 60degC, so may well be bad on 230K's, dunno, but deffo dont discount it without checking it out.

many manufacturers delberatley make zorsts restrictive, charge temps high, boost too low, etc etc etc to keep the power down, as any higher and itd make buying the next model up totally pointless fo example...

 

[quote="NovalutionGSi"]

seen one like that before, claiming that he'd map'd his ECU for a set of twin 40 Webbers...... but Carbs dont use an ECU!

/[quote]

Pal of mine has a 16i on a zetec with twin 45's and weber alpha gold managment...seems to work ok

 

The AE86 Corrola on my driveway right now, on twin 40 cars also has an ECU, its on Omex managment, runs a coilpack too

ECUs do more than the fuel...

 

I know a guy who thinks he knows everything. I'll put it in point form as i can't be arsed typing loads!!!

1. His 130bhp 206 GTi with 1/2 ton of ice can beat 230bhp RS turbos
2.His 130bhp 206 GTi with 1/2 ton of ice can beat 300bhp 200sx's
3. His mate has an Escort Gti with 220bhp - funny how my 150bhp RS 2000 had it isn't it?
4. He has actually done and can do ANY engine conversion into any car.
5. If you question his 'knowledge' you get "do you know who i am?" Yes you are possibly the largest twat in existance. Reply - "i'll get you done in!"

 

Itsmeagain, Steve, say summit funny about it or fook off!

This is a piss taking thread not another technical discussion!

 

ROFL

 

Options.
1 listen to him and challenge a race, go on be a chav

2 Listen to him and sup your pint, ignoring the usual chaff and chatting up birds and generally having a good time

3 Listen to him and try and explain the theory of combustion, boring the fuck out of any bird sad enough to be listening and go home alone