Was over my local last night when in walks this arrogant twat that lives down the road and drives a bright orange E30 318i with a poorly fitting Motorsport kit on it!

He comes in and sits straight down and launches into a speech about some car he's got with a bored out V8 in it! Starts telling one of our dart team about how he's modded it. So I but in and ask what he's done to it....

Him, Oh yeah mate, i've got 16 Holley Carbs on it!

Me, Oh right

Him, It's been bored out aswell from a 5.4 to a 6.6!

Me, why bother, sounds abit much to me!

Me again, so you had it timed?

Him, yeah mate ive had 132mph from it!

Me, thats not much for an engine of that spec!

Him, Yeah but once I ran it on Aircraft fuel and I got 35-40mph more Top Speed!

Me, bollocks mate, your talking out your arse! What power does it make?

Him, you don't know what your on about mate, I reckon it will make 350 brake!

Me, whatever, is that at the Flywheel or the wheels?

Him, what you mean, you can only measure it in one way, on a rolling road!

Me, laughed in his face, picked me pint up and walked off!



People like these really get under my skin and wind me up! Mind you it's funny to make them look like twats!

If I remember anything else i'll post it up! lol