I'll do my best to explain.

If I get in the car with no keys put the hazards on, they work as normal. If I put the ignition on the hazards go extremely slow. When I turn the ignition off again they work normally.

Then it gets weirder. If I start the car and put the headlights on I can turn the key off and remove it and ignition remains on until I turn the lights off.

Also at one point had the hazard lights on and they were switching the ignition on off as they were blinking.

Bad earth? Or something wired arse about face?