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Bricklayers Accident Report PMSL

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Old 09-12-2005, 11:51 AM
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D19 STE
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Default Bricklayers Accident Report PMSL

This is a bricklayers accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the British equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board. This is a true story. (So I am told)


Dear Sir

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put " Poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-storey building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over, which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went upto the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a Rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.

Old 09-12-2005, 11:55 AM
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Neil@FastFord
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unlucky!!
Old 09-12-2005, 11:56 AM
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Old 09-12-2005, 11:57 AM
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FPMSL
Old 09-12-2005, 11:57 AM
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Old 09-12-2005, 11:59 AM
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My god lol
Old 09-12-2005, 12:15 PM
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hahahah pmsl
Old 09-12-2005, 12:18 PM
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cant be real lol
Old 09-12-2005, 12:20 PM
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oh the pain
Old 09-12-2005, 12:33 PM
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Old 09-12-2005, 12:39 PM
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omg the stupidity of some people.
Old 09-12-2005, 12:42 PM
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real tears FPMSL
Old 09-12-2005, 12:42 PM
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Old 09-12-2005, 12:44 PM
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D19 STE
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The best bit is "I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs."
Old 09-12-2005, 01:31 PM
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ballin
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fuckin brilliant, joke but funny as fuck!
Old 09-12-2005, 01:37 PM
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Default Re: Bricklayers Accident Report PMSL

Originally Posted by D19 STE
This is a true story.
It was made into a song by the Dubliners nearly 30 years ago
Old 09-12-2005, 01:37 PM
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Stealth Bomber
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I'm trying to work out if it's a full 10 years since I last read that, or maybe it's just 8 or 9???

But it's damn funny
Old 09-12-2005, 01:45 PM
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BM08
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Originally Posted by * Rudey *
that cungers up images of a cartoon
Frank spencer aswell
Old 09-12-2005, 01:55 PM
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Physio
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Old 09-12-2005, 02:13 PM
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AFPMSL
Old 09-12-2005, 03:06 PM
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Old 09-12-2005, 03:20 PM
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owww lol
Old 09-12-2005, 03:28 PM
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TIFF
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I read that story many years ago when i was at college doing my Plumbing course....Funny as fook though
Old 09-12-2005, 03:31 PM
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fucking brillaint
Old 09-12-2005, 03:37 PM
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Originally Posted by andrek12345
cant be real lol
i work on the sites mate and honestly there is some thick people .some clever people aswell tho
Old 09-12-2005, 03:43 PM
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