Anonymous

Usual thing dont read if easily offended, although TBH these are pretty tame really.






























2 muslim women in millets trying on rucksacks. one turns to the other & asked does my bomb look big in this?


suicide bomber has just been on news complaining about london transport. says he waited half an hour for a bus then the fucker went off without him

AndyH_ZS

Franco

iTrader: (2)

..in other news, beauty parlours across the capital are worrying about loss
of business as a result of the met police's decision to do brazilians for
nothing......

Simon

St3V3_C

Dan Cossie

Very funy chip u can rely on u 4 a good joke.

Did anyone see what was put on the board at Notting Hill Gate!!!!!!!!

This is what they wrote

NOTICE TO ALL CUSTOMERS

PLEASE do NOT run on the platforms or concources.
especially if you are carrying a rucksack,wearing a big coat or look a bit foreign..

This notice is for your own safety.
Thank You.

i pissed myself when i saw the pic of it sent to me.

AND IT IS TRUE i have the pic but cant download it on ere as at work

User 32922

this one

Dan Cossie

yea thats the one well funny i thought
cheers 4 the pic btw

MWF

Travelling in London has proven a nightmare lately, going by the tube costs and arm and a leg and bus prices are going through the roof.

In response intellegence agencies have started to analyise Osma Bin Ladens snack eating habbits since he's started buying a lot of smarties. Reports show he's had a few tubes and a double decker already.

Dan Cossie

quality jokes so far lads fpmsl

Anonymous

37 muslims dead in leads bradford area, police dont believe it was revenge related. early reports coming in point to a bunk bed collapsing



the myth that muslims dont drink is over, one of them had 5 shots the other morning




Couple of unrelated ones:


Phil has been caught shagging a dog, i reported him to the police but there's nothing they can do beacuse he used to be a plumber apparently and still is corgi registered!



little patrick asked for a bike for his birthday,his dad said"we'd get you one but the mortgage is Ł80,000 and ur mam has lost her job". next day patrick walked out with his suitcase packed, his dad asked "where you goin?" patrick replied "i walked past your bedroom last night and heard u tell mam u were pullin out, then i heard her tell u to wait cos she was comin too, and i'm not stayin here on my own with a Ł80,000 mortgage and no fuckin bike

Dan Cossie

WICKED CHIP..........

MadMac

GOT2BZETEC

Physio

BM08

@ the terrorist jokes

TheBishMan

pgtips LMFAO...that can't be real!!!

bigal1978

Rsmat

iTrader: (2)

D19 STE

Graham S1

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.

Graham S1

sorry. that was lame. try this one. not strictly terror, but war, so close enough.


If World War Two had been an online Real Time Strategy game, the chat room traffic would have gone something like this.

*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*

Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0JO: lol
Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got **** to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u FooToos im gunna kick ur asses
T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: wtf
Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right ***** im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be an arss
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help
Hitler: o man ur focked
paTTon: oh what now biotch
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
*benny-tow has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt: gj patton
paTTon: thnx
Hitler[AoE]: WTF eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t
Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny~tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker
Stalin: rofl
T0J0: HAHAHHAA
Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
*Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*
benny~tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
*Hitler[AoE] has left the game*
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
benny~tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: fock u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is gay
*Roosevelt has left the game.*
Hitler[AoE]: wtf?
Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join
*tru_m4n has joined the game.*
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy ****holy****hoyl****!
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*
*The Allied team has won the game!*
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bull**** u fockin suck
*T0J0 has left the game.*
*Eisenhower has left the game.*
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
tru_m4n: l8r all
benny~tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: fock u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
*tru_m4n has left the game.*
benny~tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
*Churchill has left the game.*
*benny~tow has left the game.*
Stalin: i hate u all FooToos
*Stalin has left the game.*
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
*paTTon has been eliminated.*
paTTon: o sh1t!
*paTTon has left the game.*

AndyBlackFRST

PMSL.. some good ones there