Tuesday Humour
17-05-2005, 01:54 PM
#1
Tuesday Humour
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a
little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs.
The guy says aloud, "Jesus, I wonder what happened to this Parrot?"
The Parrot responds, "I was born this way, I'm a defective parrot."
"Holy crap," the guys says. "You actually understood and answered me!"
"I got every word," says the Parrot. "I happen to be a highly
intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."
"Oh yeah?" the guys asks.
"Then answer this; how do you hang onto your perch without any
feet?"
The Parrot responds, "Well, this is very embarrassing, but since
you asked, "I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little
hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow," says the guy.
"You really can understand and speak English can't you?"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse
with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion,
sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology.
You really ought to buy me. I would be a great companion."
The guy looks at the £200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't
afford that."
"Pssst".... said the Parrot, "truth is, nobody wants me 'cause I
don't have any feet. You can probably get me for £20, just make the
guy an offer!"
The guy offers £20 and walks out with a parrot.
Weeks go by. The Parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of
humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands
everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.
The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the Parrot goes,
"Psssssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing, "I don't
know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and
the postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him
at the door in a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately."
"WHAT???"
The guy asks incredulously. "Then what happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and put his hands under
her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the Parrot.
"OH, NO!" he exclaims, "Then what?"
"Then he lifted up the nightie, began to kiss her all over,
starting with her breasts and slowly........"
"WELL," demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED ???"
"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch."
little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs.
The guy says aloud, "Jesus, I wonder what happened to this Parrot?"
The Parrot responds, "I was born this way, I'm a defective parrot."
"Holy crap," the guys says. "You actually understood and answered me!"
"I got every word," says the Parrot. "I happen to be a highly
intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."
"Oh yeah?" the guys asks.
"Then answer this; how do you hang onto your perch without any
feet?"
The Parrot responds, "Well, this is very embarrassing, but since
you asked, "I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little
hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow," says the guy.
"You really can understand and speak English can't you?"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse
with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion,
sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology.
You really ought to buy me. I would be a great companion."
The guy looks at the £200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't
afford that."
"Pssst".... said the Parrot, "truth is, nobody wants me 'cause I
don't have any feet. You can probably get me for £20, just make the
guy an offer!"
The guy offers £20 and walks out with a parrot.
Weeks go by. The Parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of
humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands
everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.
The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the Parrot goes,
"Psssssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing, "I don't
know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and
the postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him
at the door in a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately."
"WHAT???"
The guy asks incredulously. "Then what happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and put his hands under
her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the Parrot.
"OH, NO!" he exclaims, "Then what?"
"Then he lifted up the nightie, began to kiss her all over,
starting with her breasts and slowly........"
"WELL," demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED ???"
"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch."
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