PMSL! Joke! :cry:
12-04-2005, 07:19 AM
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PMSL! Joke! :cry:
> >One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him,
> >"My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor"
> >
> >" Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies.
> >There's a diagnostic computer at Asda. Just give it a urine sample and
> >the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it.
> >
> >It takes ten seconds and only costs five pounds.....a lot quicker and
> >better than a doctor".
> >
> >So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Asda.
> >He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the
> >urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds
> >later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your
> >arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two
> >weeks".
> >
> >That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
> >began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
> >water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
> >daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
> >
> >Jack hurried back to Asda, eager to check what would happen. He
> >deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
> >
> >
> >The computer prints the following:
> >
> >
> >1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
> >2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo
> >3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
> >4 . Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
> >5. And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
> >get better...
> >
> >.......thank you for shopping at Asda.
> >"My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor"
> >
> >" Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies.
> >There's a diagnostic computer at Asda. Just give it a urine sample and
> >the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it.
> >
> >It takes ten seconds and only costs five pounds.....a lot quicker and
> >better than a doctor".
> >
> >So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Asda.
> >He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the
> >urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds
> >later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your
> >arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two
> >weeks".
> >
> >That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
> >began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
> >water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
> >daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
> >
> >Jack hurried back to Asda, eager to check what would happen. He
> >deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
> >
> >
> >The computer prints the following:
> >
> >
> >1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
> >2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo
> >3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
> >4 . Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
> >5. And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
> >get better...
> >
> >.......thank you for shopping at Asda.
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