urgent question on intitlement for a single mum from father
25-03-2005, 12:47 PM
#1
urgent question on intitlement for a single mum from father
ok, single mum kid is just ova a year old, dad has gone, if she took him to court what amount of money would she see from him if u catch my drift.......
this is realy urgent please help
this is realy urgent please help
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25-03-2005, 01:06 PM
#8
i reckon its gonna be about 130 - 150 a month from the csa .. at a guess .. i know someone in same sort of state .. she is getting 250 a month for 2 older kids.
imho .. best way to do it is aproach the father and ask him for an amount per month .. then be very nice and say if you can get a settlement between yourselves then the csa wont need to get involved as such and he will ultimatly not end up getting totally shafted by the government..
i know you might want this to happen top him but in some circumstances its easier to just get an agreed settlement...
the csa is a shite department to try and deal with..
imho .. best way to do it is aproach the father and ask him for an amount per month .. then be very nice and say if you can get a settlement between yourselves then the csa wont need to get involved as such and he will ultimatly not end up getting totally shafted by the government..
i know you might want this to happen top him but in some circumstances its easier to just get an agreed settlement...
the csa is a shite department to try and deal with..
25-03-2005, 01:21 PM
#12
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If they get along. Which is very handy for the kid 
Then DONT FFS get the CSA involved. Go and see a Solictior and get an agreement put in writing.
Seriously the CSA are the reason www.fathers-4-justice.org exist! They will fuck it all up!
Then DONT FFS get the CSA involved. Go and see a Solictior and get an agreement put in writing.
Seriously the CSA are the reason www.fathers-4-justice.org exist! They will fuck it all up!
25-03-2005, 01:25 PM
#13
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Originally Posted by Rich_w
If they get along. Which is very handy for the kid
Then DONT FFS get the CSA involved. Go and see a Solictior and get an agreement put in writing.
Seriously the CSA are the reason www.fathers-4-justice.org exist! They will fuck it all up!
Then DONT FFS get the CSA involved. Go and see a Solictior and get an agreement put in writing.
Seriously the CSA are the reason www.fathers-4-justice.org exist! They will fuck it all up!
as said, try and get an amicable arrangement first - if he's got any sense at all he will want it that way too!!
25-03-2005, 02:12 PM
#16
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If she is on benefits the money she gets from the csa will be deducted from her benefits.
IE. she wont get anymore more than she was. The only way to avoid that is to declare to the csa who the father is, then she would get her benefits + the csa too
IE. she wont get anymore more than she was. The only way to avoid that is to declare to the csa who the father is, then she would get her benefits + the csa too
25-03-2005, 03:35 PM
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I have had some dealings with this sort of thing with me and my ex. I first contacted the CSA way back in January 2003 and I've only just started receiving some money now 
My ex wouldn't give me any money towards our child so I had no other choice but to go through the CSA as if I had taken him to court they would have just made me go through the government agency which supposedly deals with non resident non paying parents.
When we split up I had a verbal agreement with him for the support that he would provide but he didn't stick to that. Even if she does get on with him now it's always best to get something in writing and even get a contract drawn up with a solicitor so should the same thing happen she has something to fall back on. I know from bitter past experience that even when things are amicable they can still turn nasty.
Hope this helps
Claire
My ex wouldn't give me any money towards our child so I had no other choice but to go through the CSA as if I had taken him to court they would have just made me go through the government agency which supposedly deals with non resident non paying parents.
When we split up I had a verbal agreement with him for the support that he would provide but he didn't stick to that. Even if she does get on with him now it's always best to get something in writing and even get a contract drawn up with a solicitor so should the same thing happen she has something to fall back on. I know from bitter past experience that even when things are amicable they can still turn nasty.
Hope this helps
Claire
25-03-2005, 08:40 PM
#20
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Sorry to jump in on the thread, but absent dads (or mums) do worry me.
Sometimes relations break down and that is sad. Sometimes, though, the break-up is the best solution for all concerned.
But these absentee dads that think they can just wander off and leave the rest of us to pay for their kids really annoy me. I have enough on my plate bringing up our two without paying extra for these other kids.
And don't even get me started on the women with four kids, all different fathers, and living on benefits.
Sometimes relations break down and that is sad. Sometimes, though, the break-up is the best solution for all concerned.
But these absentee dads that think they can just wander off and leave the rest of us to pay for their kids really annoy me. I have enough on my plate bringing up our two without paying extra for these other kids.
And don't even get me started on the women with four kids, all different fathers, and living on benefits.
25-03-2005, 11:13 PM
#22
Originally Posted by martyn
If she is on benefits the money she gets from the csa will be deducted from her benefits.
IE. she wont get anymore more than she was. The only way to avoid that is to declare to the csa who the father is, then she would get her benefits + the csa too
IE. she wont get anymore more than she was. The only way to avoid that is to declare to the csa who the father is, then she would get her benefits + the csa too
26-03-2005, 01:31 AM
#23
The Knife, : he hasnt just disapeared but he is paying very little towards the young one, basicly not even enough to cover for and nappies for 2 wks out of the month. she is going to ask for more, but is unsure where to draw the line if u get me
26-03-2005, 05:43 AM
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But these absentee dads that think they can just wander off and leave the rest of us to pay for their kids really annoy me.
you only have to look at roadtax income vs spenditure on road maintenance/construction to see that its all bollox
pugo
26-03-2005, 08:49 AM
#26
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Pugo: Maybe it wouldn't lower my tax, but just maybe if the absentees had to pay their own way they wouldn't be smoking 20 a day, down the pub every night, watching Sky, clubbing, pulling another girl, or driving nicer cars than me etc.
My Council Tax has just gone up to Ł217 a month, and when I got made redundant I was only entitled to contributions based unemployment benefit and nothing towards the council tax because I had put a bit away, yet these guys contribute nothing, spend everything they get, and pick up all the handouts going.
Boost Mad: I suppose he's paying something, but if he was paying a fair share of what the baby really costs, he'll think twice about doing the same again. If he is a responsible sort of bloke, could she trust him with the kid for a couple of weeks so he can see for himself what things cost?
Anyway, sorry to hijack the thread with my rantings. I feel sorry for your friend, having to go through this just to get the father to contribute properly.
My Council Tax has just gone up to Ł217 a month, and when I got made redundant I was only entitled to contributions based unemployment benefit and nothing towards the council tax because I had put a bit away, yet these guys contribute nothing, spend everything they get, and pick up all the handouts going.
Boost Mad: I suppose he's paying something, but if he was paying a fair share of what the baby really costs, he'll think twice about doing the same again. If he is a responsible sort of bloke, could she trust him with the kid for a couple of weeks so he can see for himself what things cost?
Anyway, sorry to hijack the thread with my rantings. I feel sorry for your friend, having to go through this just to get the father to contribute properly.
26-03-2005, 11:22 AM
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Originally Posted by boost mad
The Knife, : i think she could trust him with the kid but where he is now staying ( back with parents ) they wont let him have the kid there
26-03-2005, 01:02 PM
#29
Originally Posted by The Knife
Pugo: Maybe it wouldn't lower my tax, but just maybe if the absentees had to pay their own way they wouldn't be smoking 20 a day, down the pub every night, watching Sky, clubbing, pulling another girl, or driving nicer cars than me etc.
My Council Tax has just gone up to Ł217 a month, and when I got made redundant I was only entitled to contributions based unemployment benefit and nothing towards the council tax because I had put a bit away, yet these guys contribute nothing, spend everything they get, and pick up all the handouts going.
My Council Tax has just gone up to Ł217 a month, and when I got made redundant I was only entitled to contributions based unemployment benefit and nothing towards the council tax because I had put a bit away, yet these guys contribute nothing, spend everything they get, and pick up all the handouts going.
27-03-2005, 08:49 AM
#30
just finding my feet
ok a few things that aint been mentioned about kids to diddle the CSA
if the child stays over night then the deducted money is reduced abit as the child is technically living there them nights
also the thing about the contract is all bollocks as ya still gotta go back to court and then get told to take it through CSA
also lets not forget that the fucking mums cause most of all this shite in the first place and want money to look after there kid cause then want more fooking money to spunk
now as pugo says 460 quid a month for payting for the kid , wtf, my family dont cost that much to spend a month
im sorry but my ex had every intention of fleecing me for all me money, remember they also get the fooking home ya pay the morgage on and the years of buying shite for the flat and you get a "fook off and rent a 1 bed council flat while me and the bloke ive been shagging whilst you was at work 7 days a week to provide us with a better life style live in the house your hard graft payed for "
sorry and the other other voice of reason from the courts
" the child should be at home with its mum ", yeah like a dad cant look after a kid and get the cheating slapper into a fucking job with her new bloke too and the dad stays at home in his own fucking house hes paying for and he gets the money to look after his own kid , thats a good solution for all women who decide to take it up the arse for the milkman, make em loose there kid and get a council flat and visit at 10am sat morning and bring the child back at 5pm on sat evening
think thats fucking far as looking after ya own kid is alot more fair considering the bitch fucking another guy was nothing to do with the childs welfare at that fucking time was it, if she cared for her kid she would keep her fucking legs closed when instead of taking of the see-though panties that her bloke bought for her bit on the side then screw in the bed her bloke bought
sorry but cheating birds deserve a beating, cheatign wives who fook off with another bloke and then just chuck there bloke out for the new guy to move in deserve being arse rapped by a aids infected rugby league
i realy dont like people like this
oh and as for the tosser about paying for kids whos got absent parents, move out ya mums semi detached house and go though the situation before ya decided that ya know how the world works when ya dont even know what a fucking pint of milk costs
some people cant see there kids cause the "caring" mum gets a court order for her ex threatening her so hes not allowed near to so he cant see his own child as hes now a danger to his child and needs to have monitored visits so he dont hurt his child as he went for his ex EVEN THOUGH it was all bollox and its the fucking court beliving the mum based on the fact that the bloke flipped out in the fucking room when the judge was talking down to him and stroking the fucking Ex's hand as he "knew it was hard for her at such a young age "
fucking kill the fucking judges and only allow people who have been though that situation to actually judge the situation as a 60 year old coffin dodger on over 100k a year whos got his perfect family as his missus wont leave as she cant get a better deal and will loose all the good money she gets
just for the record i have my own child who lives with me but i also have a child i dont get to see as the mums a dirty fucking slapper that when i went to court and lost 3k of my money on court fees and actualy was lucky enough and passionate enough to get half custody of my child refused to let me see the child and said "your gonna have to keep spending the money as i can go to court all day long as it dont affect my benifits 1 bit
so fuck em and shot em and all the wankers who comment and dont know what there talking about !
if the child stays over night then the deducted money is reduced abit as the child is technically living there them nights
also the thing about the contract is all bollocks as ya still gotta go back to court and then get told to take it through CSA
also lets not forget that the fucking mums cause most of all this shite in the first place and want money to look after there kid cause then want more fooking money to spunk
now as pugo says 460 quid a month for payting for the kid , wtf, my family dont cost that much to spend a month
im sorry but my ex had every intention of fleecing me for all me money, remember they also get the fooking home ya pay the morgage on and the years of buying shite for the flat and you get a "fook off and rent a 1 bed council flat while me and the bloke ive been shagging whilst you was at work 7 days a week to provide us with a better life style live in the house your hard graft payed for "
sorry and the other other voice of reason from the courts
" the child should be at home with its mum ", yeah like a dad cant look after a kid and get the cheating slapper into a fucking job with her new bloke too and the dad stays at home in his own fucking house hes paying for and he gets the money to look after his own kid , thats a good solution for all women who decide to take it up the arse for the milkman, make em loose there kid and get a council flat and visit at 10am sat morning and bring the child back at 5pm on sat evening
think thats fucking far as looking after ya own kid is alot more fair considering the bitch fucking another guy was nothing to do with the childs welfare at that fucking time was it, if she cared for her kid she would keep her fucking legs closed when instead of taking of the see-though panties that her bloke bought for her bit on the side then screw in the bed her bloke bought
sorry but cheating birds deserve a beating, cheatign wives who fook off with another bloke and then just chuck there bloke out for the new guy to move in deserve being arse rapped by a aids infected rugby league
i realy dont like people like this
oh and as for the tosser about paying for kids whos got absent parents, move out ya mums semi detached house and go though the situation before ya decided that ya know how the world works when ya dont even know what a fucking pint of milk costs
some people cant see there kids cause the "caring" mum gets a court order for her ex threatening her so hes not allowed near to so he cant see his own child as hes now a danger to his child and needs to have monitored visits so he dont hurt his child as he went for his ex EVEN THOUGH it was all bollox and its the fucking court beliving the mum based on the fact that the bloke flipped out in the fucking room when the judge was talking down to him and stroking the fucking Ex's hand as he "knew it was hard for her at such a young age "
fucking kill the fucking judges and only allow people who have been though that situation to actually judge the situation as a 60 year old coffin dodger on over 100k a year whos got his perfect family as his missus wont leave as she cant get a better deal and will loose all the good money she gets
just for the record i have my own child who lives with me but i also have a child i dont get to see as the mums a dirty fucking slapper that when i went to court and lost 3k of my money on court fees and actualy was lucky enough and passionate enough to get half custody of my child refused to let me see the child and said "your gonna have to keep spending the money as i can go to court all day long as it dont affect my benifits 1 bit
so fuck em and shot em and all the wankers who comment and dont know what there talking about !
27-03-2005, 09:57 AM
#32
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If anyone wants to read what I wrote, I never said the dads were always to blame.
I specifically said that absent mums were just as bad, and even had a moan about women with loads of kids with lots of fathers. I didn't talk about women screwing the house etc off their ex because, luckily, I have no experience of that.
We're probably more on the same side of this than against.
I've worked for everything I've got, and I get thoroughly pissed when I see scroungers happy to sit on their arse and let someone else pay, whether that is the state (ie my taxes), or an ex taking everything off a bloke, or the guy who thinks he can leave a trail of little kids all over and not have to pay for them.
As for the "leave mums semi" - you know nothing about me or my situation, but just to help you understand, my dad died when I was just turned 12 and I grew up without any proper male role-model or a dad to help me out with things. As a result, I got involved in some stuff that I shouldn't have, so know that these kids growing up could present us all with a real problem down the line. Read some of the threads on here about kids damaging our cars and parents not wanting to know. In a way I was lucky because my mum never got remarried or, so far as I know, had a new boyfriend even now so I didn't have to deal with the procession of new men through the house. By the time I was 18 I left home for a job miles away which meant leaving my "mates" behind and after that I was back on the straight and narrow.
I apologised twice for commenting on something not directly related to the thread (been done many times by others, before you take a pop at me for that) and now I'm going to say no more on the subject.
I specifically said that absent mums were just as bad, and even had a moan about women with loads of kids with lots of fathers. I didn't talk about women screwing the house etc off their ex because, luckily, I have no experience of that.
We're probably more on the same side of this than against.
I've worked for everything I've got, and I get thoroughly pissed when I see scroungers happy to sit on their arse and let someone else pay, whether that is the state (ie my taxes), or an ex taking everything off a bloke, or the guy who thinks he can leave a trail of little kids all over and not have to pay for them.
As for the "leave mums semi" - you know nothing about me or my situation, but just to help you understand, my dad died when I was just turned 12 and I grew up without any proper male role-model or a dad to help me out with things. As a result, I got involved in some stuff that I shouldn't have, so know that these kids growing up could present us all with a real problem down the line. Read some of the threads on here about kids damaging our cars and parents not wanting to know. In a way I was lucky because my mum never got remarried or, so far as I know, had a new boyfriend even now so I didn't have to deal with the procession of new men through the house. By the time I was 18 I left home for a job miles away which meant leaving my "mates" behind and after that I was back on the straight and narrow.
I apologised twice for commenting on something not directly related to the thread (been done many times by others, before you take a pop at me for that) and now I'm going to say no more on the subject.
27-03-2005, 04:03 PM
#33
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as said if she on benefits the money gos to csa towards benefit she wonT get anymore my ex tried this i gave her 40 pounds a week now csa take more so she lost out
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