TIFF

I took the 3DR for a run today and popped into my mates work for a chat.

We were stood outside talking about my car when this guy appears from nowhere. Now the guy was about 50, was wearing a Cosworth Racing Fleece and this is how the conversation went

Fleece Guy
"All right mate, is this your car

Me
"Yes mate"

FG
"Oh right, My mate had one of these about 10 years ago. i did all the work on it as i worked for Cosworth at the time"

Me
"Really"

FG
"Yes mate. What sort of power is this then"

Me
"About 360-370bhp"

FG
"Is it on single or twin fuel rails?"

Me
"Just the standard single rail mate"

FG
"In that case it is 300bhp TOPS"

At this point i turned to my mate and said

"Come on Rich, I cant be doing with this Plum"

Graceland

thats the main reason why i hate talking about my car to anyone - apart from fellow enthusiasts

vroooom ptssssh

Bet the old boy was a bit confused after that

TIFF

I REALLY couldnt be arsed to carry on with him

dickymint

Grandad, this is now 2005, technology has moved on and so should you fook off!!!

Dickymint.

duxrs

Good on ya mate i hate old choobs like that

RSCAT

something about 3drs attract wierdos mate, i had some goon rabbiting on in a petrol station not long back, i said i had to go and he didnt even put petrol in his car despite taking his cap off and followed me for about 15 minutes

Thrush

iTrader: (1)

Yeah but even then you always get the wanker that knows absolutely fuck all but reckons he does know it all And the main trouble with COssies (same with all RS's but more so with 3dr Cossie's) is everyone seems to have had one, or had a mate with one "yeah I had one of these back in the day, was 500bhp blah blah"

Fuck, I used to go out in the S1 and I'd still get em "is that your RS? My mate/I used to have a Cosworth, you know the original Sierra one... 500bhp... blah blah"

Irritating as fuck So much so, that when I am chatting to someone who has a 3dr I try not to say that I have a mate with one, even tho I really

All4it

but honestly my mate has got 1

Thrush

iTrader: (1)

TIFF

But is it 500bhp

Thrush

iTrader: (1)

No it is only 300bhp tops cos the limits of the fuel rail

TIFF

Oranoco

pmsl.

It's fairly easy to spot the bull shitters within the first couple of sentances. Comment like.

"My mate has the RS500, You know, the one with 500bhp"

"My XR3i is all chipped up to 300bhp"

"They aren't that quick my *insert shit car here* can see them off"

Soon give them away

Anonymous

Usually find its the young guys that talk the shite where Cossies are concerned, us older guys usually quote facts. Seen enough crap on her to last me a lifetime so perhaps you should be listening & not knocking. I expect hes come across quite a few of the young 500+ bullshitters in his time.
Rod

GUZZLER

iTrader: (3)

g'wan Rod

Fastmaul

Tiff, maybe he meant at the wheels, Or could of looked at the size you and though feck me, this car needs at least 600bhp to move with him in it!

boXXer

i used to get that shit loads with my MK1 escort. Tossers.

GUZZLER

iTrader: (3)

although i had one today, i was out in the 3 door & some dude starts telling me
about how he had one exactly the same when it was brand new,,,,
then says 'yeah thats right, mine was great at first, 4 wheel drive an all, but the clutch went after 1500 miles so i sold it'

i had to look over to make sure i wasn't in the saff, was about to tell him that
3 doors were 2 wheel drive only, but decided it was better to ignore him.

TIFF

Cheeky Fooker

POPEYE

you should ask benn about the bloke at the last essex reg day
i pissed myself

edd

we had a cock in work the other day that had his shitroen AX "BORED out to 150 brake" what a cock jockey

Dan

Muppets are everywhere tho arnt they!

James Raby

iTrader: (1)

My God
It was you speaking to Tiff!! LOL

I'm lucky in a way, people ask what mine is and pure and simple tell them "It's an xr3i" - no lies there

BlueSmoke

What?! I'm a fellow enthusiast and you don't even like talking to me about it and I'm genuinely interested, not some coont who wants to shout about power figures!

MrsFrog

Maybe he didn't see it was a 3dr and confused it with an XR4x4..... They kinda look similar.... ish..... except for the rear spoiler, the number of doors, the body kit , the.......

Oh well.... maybe not then....

Ian M

dickymint

Madrod,Tiff was`nt saying he`s one of the 500 brigade, nor was i, just stating things have moved on from perhaps when this chap was playing with motors, or the chap was just talking crap.

Dickymint

CasperR

hehe.. when I was visiting my gf in the uk 2 years back we were at this party and got a ride back home with this young guy who had some vauxhall ascona 1.6, we then started to talk about cars and I asked him what engine was in it.. he then said it was a 1.6, but his mate had just installed this turbochip in it so it had over 200 bhp.. and then he nailed it the car was DEFFO not over 100 bhp and I just said "nice.." my gf and I was both laughing about it when we came home..

BODGE

lol we had one the other day, where we are working a nipper next door just got an S2, he looked up at us and started to talk and got on to his car, not knowing i've had 5 RST's now, then it popped out he said my m8's got a red S2 and we had 180mph out of it, at this point i looked at my bro stood next to me and we fell to the floor pissing are selfs, trying to hold me self together i ask'd what had been done to it he said chipped cam and zorst

another a year or so back at a pub this nipper comes up to me and says you got that mint red RS aint ya ??? i said yes he said its got 250bhp aint it, i said yes , he said yeh my S2 has 350bhp and im going to fit 200bhp nos next week

dont it FEEK you off nobbers

mark

Nik_W

I used to work with a guy who bought a Mini Metro for Ł50, he got it home opened the bonnet and fook me it had a RS Turbo lump in it

Another time, same lad, went out in a RS Turbo, doing 150mph and the back axle fell off

Can't remember his name, but we called him Billy...

Rich_w

Basically I wonder how these people manage in life.

Best Bollocks story I EVER heard was from a guy who "knew a F1 mechanic" I was told with a complete straight face that he was "well fucking lucky cos when they're testing, he was chosen to cain the car round the track to make sure it was OK"

I just said "Yeah, thats really lucky, wish I could do that"

boXXer

OMG, what a plum. As if they would EVER let a member of public even sit in the thing.

Nik_W

another story from my work mate Billy Bullshit. He once went to Brands Hatch as a kid to watch a F1 race. He walked past Mansell's F1 car and decided to jump in it. Apparently, Nigel had to ask him to get out before he could get in it himself.

morcheen

this is what you get , because all the mental homes have shut down,and laxpower magazine has a lot to answer for too

rstoughy

iTrader: (5)

Think they are in every town across the country. Lost count of the idiots that have said oh i had one of those years ago and Blaa blaa blaa blaa but my new TD astra van or something like that is just as quick Fookin Plebs

XR4Timan

Well, I had a friend in college called 'Fat Liar Tony'. Now this guy owned a Merkur XR4Ti and decided to flog it. He told one of my mates that his Merkur has 4WD and that they all did, in order to get top dollar for it. I knew this wasn't the case so I confronted F.L.T. and said they don't. Then he said 'I'll prove it to you'. It was cold out so he started his Merkur and the Graphic Display on it warned of 'ice conditions'. He says 'See - it has automatic 4WD'.

I felt so sorry for him, I was like 'Yeah, I guess you were right'

Ginge !

the ones i hate are when they see ya got a cossie and the tosser mentions hes got a granada cossie, the 24v jobby, its well fooking rapid blah blah blah, what a tool ect

oh and as for the worst thing ive ever heard is a guy i work with, hes just got rid of hes clio 1.4, hes now got a escort Si 5 door, nice family car , anyway when he got it he was sayin he got it upto 150mph the night he got it

he was aguing when i was laughing too, i had tears at one point as he was soooo certain he got 150mph out of it, looked under the bonnet and it was a nice well loocked after family car, still got the standard zorst on it too

ive asked him for a race but hes never accepted , i was being polite at first explaining litle things likke "DO YOU KNOW JUST HOW FAST 150MPH IS"

or i think ya was looking at the rev counter mate unless ya clock stops atr the 40mark then ill belive ya

he still claims hes car does 150mph

fitzy_88

I was in an autoparts store buying a gasket set for my Fiesta Turbo engined Ka.

The guy was asking about my 'fezza' when i told him it was a conversion.

'Oh really' said he. 'My mate's got one of them too. I helped him build it, only took us two weekends.'

I then asked him about the radiator, intercooler, ecu... didn't have a clue, answered it all with 'had to get it specially modified.'

i could just tell he ws a lying coont. DIdn't know his arse from his elbow.

Anonymous

Rod having a pop at dicky

AFPMSL