Mark_

what age do you think is suitable for a child to play outside by themself?

now im not talking walking the streets.
we live in a block 4floors high we are on the top. its a fairly decent area in islington

at the rear of the flats is a playing field where all the kids from the flats play.
its not big at all. we can see the play area out of our rear balcony.

our son is 6 and keeps asking if he can go down to play with his mates from school.

im not happy or comfortable with this so he doesnt.

i go down with him and let him play for aslong as i can be bothered to stay down there for.
usualy until 5.30ish as im bolloxed from work

i feel quite bad for him when i take him up as his mates are still down there but i wont allow him to play down there unless either my partner or me is there with him.


at what age would you feel comfortable letting your kids out alone?


am i being over protective?

1.9 xr2 on 40's

my missus says 8 if they are sensible

i see 3 year olds in the scummy arears round here, usuall accompanied but an older sibling but not always
shocking

i dunno myself, we live in the sticks bigtime, nothing but our 4 cottages for a mile, my 5 year old isnt allowed in past the sidegate into the front garden, she wont be going off alone for many a year

stephenbatey

iTrader: (1)

You'll have to let him go out by himself at some stage, it's a nightmare tho my son is 9 and I still worry about him when he's out with his mates.

eddie_od

iTrader: (1)

i would say thats a bit over protective, it is effectively your back garden after all. You can see him from your balcony just keep a bit of an eye from there if you feel you have to.

clarke5700

if you can see where he is playing i would not see it as a problem tbh as long as he is in a groupe of mates and he understands that he is not alowed to go and further than your set limits. get him a watch (if he hasent got one) and set him a time to come in by then the more confatable you feel the later he can stay out well the older he gets of corse lol

Mark_

the only thing that bothers me is in the summer months we have a bloody tree blocking our view.
ill post a picture up shortly of the view we have in a bit.
we see kids as young as 4 outside by themselfs round here

turbochild

It's a hard one it aint like it was when we were younger that's for sure my daughter is 6 and i won't let her out not even for 5 mins if i need to go back to the house even for a min then she has to come with me

Mark_

same as mate, i just dont feel comfortable about it.

just wondered if im over portective.

vaughant

iTrader: (1)

I'd say your just being sensible.playing out in a visible field is fine but when he wants to come in just meet him by the lift/stairwell of the flats as I imagine that's where something could happen that would frighten him.I'm lucky that we live where we do and my boy is now 14 but when we lived at the top of west cross we let him out into the street about 8/9 yrs old and he could do a bit of local roaming when he was 10.We were lucky in a way that a built him a fully fledged summer house from scratch which I put electric/tv etc in and we had our own swimming pool under a conservatory so he wasn't lacking in things to do!!!!

Mark_

right this is what we can see from our balcony.

the trees are at their peek now so view isnt great.

the grass area is everywhere below. in one of the pictures you can just make out the football pitch

Mark_

its not really a field is it. just grassed area

Mark_

i think 7 is more of a suitable age 6 is still a baby really isnt it?

Gosh no one told me parenting would be this difficult.

zetec-Sam

iTrader: (2)

It's not over protective at all, letting a 6 yr old play on his own outside flats would be bad parenting IMO.

orionmojo

iTrader: (1)

i grew up in a culdisac and i was 8 before i was allowed out to play in it with my bike, we didn't have much of a garden.

you could go out with him maybe? (not in a creepy overprotective way either)

play footy with him or something, and other kids will join in then

G420 DEL

i wouldnt be letting him out down there on his own. you cant see nout through them trees!

vaughant

iTrader: (1)

Not really a clear view tbh,far too many places for rats to hide and prey,don't like that much myself.he's only got to run about 10ft either way and he'd be out of sight.

Mark_

thats my thoughts.

his grandad is constantly telling me i should let him down there but imo he is still a baby.
it would tear me apart if i did and something happend.

at least with the comments on this thread show im not being too protective

the thing is im not sure ill ever be ready to let him down there alone.

Coldo

I'm no parent but i dont think 6 years old is old enough to be out and about himself.

8 seems a bit more reasonable. I think what you are doing now is decent though, supervising him for a wee while so he gets to play.

DanW@FastFord

iTrader: (1)

It's a difficult one really. It's something I'm going to have to consider before too long, but I can totally see why you'd be over-protective.

One thing to remember - despite the big child abduction stories, they are INCREDIBLY rare - statistically a child is way way way more likely to be injured or killed by a family member than by a stranger!

A lot depends on their friends too. If they're all relatively sensible kids then why not let him go out for an hour (at first) and make it quite clear that if he's naughty, or wanders off then he's not going to be allowed out again. Give him boundaries, and a warning that if he goes over them then he's not going to be trusted to go out by himself for a long time.

Mark_

cheers mate,

st3v3

I would say (and im a parent myself) that the kiddie would be safe to play out side with his mates to a reasonable time, maybe 6.30ish WHEN he understands the problems that come with society,obviousely not in every detail.

ie: does he undersatnd fully not to go with strangers/or off alone?
Does he understand the dangers of roads/strangers/dogs/other kids who might bully?

If you can make him street wise (a little and i understand hes very young) then you might be able to relax a little.

Get him a cheap mobile phone maybe, something from asda for Ł10 that you can ring him on or more importantly he can ring you, this alone can install confidence in both parents and kids.

But at the end of the day, he is young and maybe a few years older would be better and it does depend on the area you live in.

You can become over protective as a parent and i must sound quite the hypocrite when i say, you must protect them for as long as you can, but then again you cant smother them,again i do understand hes only 6 yrs old and it must be difficult to even contemplait letting him out alone.

At the end of the day, its down to you and your missus and NOT what people think on here.

Good luck on your decisions.

tabetha

Buy him a mobile, a cheap nasty basic one, and tell him he can go out with his friends if they call for him, so he'll ring them, learning how to use and answer a phone, and being a cheap phone won't be a target for older kids.
The view is not great, try and get him into some after school stuff, can never have enough freinds to mess around with, my lad was doing ju-jitsu by age 4 or 5, met a lot of freinds etc in after school things.
The best thing is to get to know as many people around you as you can, others being parents will all muck in and watch each others.
You are right to be concerned, it is a very worrying time when you first let them "loose" as it were, but does them no good being kept in, maybe if you have some freinds on the lower floor ask them to also keep an eye out etc.
tabetha

eddie_od

iTrader: (1)

To be honest i wrote that without reading it properly.

Was thinking of the back common ground you can have for each block of flats.

Probably wouldnt let a 6yo out there either. view too obscured IMO

BM08

For me, if theres times where he could be out of full view then i would not let him out down there alone, if you can see everything then fair enough

jammerrs

give him a time to be in and a cheap phone, maybe sit with your doors open a little so you can hear him down there a little bit if your worried.

admittadly it is a scary thing to do and it does massively depend on the child and you

matts1

Its a tricky one mate as you can't see much and are not exactly on a standard street where you can see them and they are 20' away from the front door.

If you do start to let him out then i would make sure he fully understand the importance of staying in a group and if a stranger come over or rival kids etc he goes to the middle of the green and screams for you.

You in the meantime always have the window/balcony doors open and regularly check out for him. Also make sure he hangs around the green and doesn't wonder off around the flats.

Personally if you get to the point you feel it is unfair to keep him in, maybe let him have an half an hour without you - ok only takes a minute for something bad to happen but you can't keep them under lock and key for ever and 30 minutes is not a lot of time to sit in the house and watch out of the window for.

D16PJM

My eldest is 8 and i don't let her out on her own yet to play, she has been around our local shop but even then i stand on the corner and watch her, i know you have to let them go at some point but with so many werdo's out there its hard.

Pete

mark

i wouldent let him down there m8
even tho hed be ok as its an ok place its all down to you not seeing him

i use to play there when i was about 10 up to when we left highbury grove all my m8s come from down there

and i lived up the road a few nights i was shitting it going home lol

Rsmat

iTrader: (2)

he seems alittle to young for me to be comfy letting him out at 6 imo mate.

GaryBean

Im not a parent but do have a 11 year old sister and im 22 she was not allowed to go out intil she left junior sch this time last year and even then i made sure she new what she could and could'nt do (being street wise etc) and new how to use a phone wot we got for her.
and even then her mates had to meet her at my house so we new who she was with and not walking round trying to find them on her own. i dont live in a bad area but i grew up around here and i know wot goes on.

imho 6 is to young to go out on your own. when i have kids wot wont be to far away i dont think i would let them out at that age and i now have my own flat in the same situation as yours..

dojj

iTrader: (3)

As a parent to a 4 yo and a 2 yo I'm not even contemplating letting them go anywhere without adult supervision until they are going to be attending high school.
It's not being over protective as I wouldn't feel comfortable letting them out on their own untill that age.
When we were kids I was out form about the age of 6 going to and from school on my own but times have changed a lot.

twinkle_2k86

We have a nice grassy area out the back of our house, and our kids always want to go out on it, but we will only let them if either me or my wife sits out watching them, couple of reasons. We live near a bus route road (even tho the kids have there rules of not going ove a path to the road) but its such an easy escape route for a snatch in a car. so thats why we dont. Our oldest is 7, 8 in aug, and being a girl its even harder to let her out on her own. Other others are young so no chance of them going out yet.

I know its hard to keep saying no when they ask to going out to play with friends etc, but all you think of at the time is what if.
We have a few kids round my area that are far younger then our oldest, and there out on the own playing round the streets. I just cant bring myself to let ours do that yet.

I dont know what age tho to let them out on there own, its just not the same as when i was younger playing out with mates quite away from home in the playing field, over farms etc etc.

DanW@FastFord

iTrader: (1)

How old are the kids he wants to play out with?

DanW@FastFord

iTrader: (1)

But it is the same - there aren't any more, or less weirdos than when we were kids - there's just a lot more media hype and hysteria about it! Think how many abduction stories you know of that happened in the last 10 years... I can think of a handful. Now think how many kids there are in the country... In reality the world is no more dangerous to how it was 10, 20, or even 30 years ago.

Having said all that I'm a properly twitchy parent, and wouldn't let my kids out til they were 18 if I had the chance!

Benni

It's decent how you go down there and let him play. I'd say if you're unsure about something, then don't do it. 6 is very young.

Benni.

dojj

iTrader: (3)

If you were living out in the wilderness then I'm sure it would be less stressful but living in a built up area, especially the likes of London the risks are much much greater.

If you haven't seen it watch kidulthood to see just how harsh things can be growing up in London as a teenager and then think that those kids just get younger and younger.

Getting a mobile that's cheap and nasty might be worse than gettting them one that's just normal because kids still attach cheap and nasty with you for the whole of your life.

My daughter hid her self in the bathroom the other day and we spent ages looking for her
and when we did there was the emotion of either hugging her or giving her a smacked bottom but she was innocently playing in her own little world, so just imagine if she came home 2 minutes late from school or her friends house when she's older? We'd be calling the Feds and sending out search parties for her.

You may call me paranoid, but I say better to be safe than sorry.

Big-Dan

iTrader: (2)

I think 8 is acceptable, wouldn't let my lad out for longer than an hour at a time though and he'd be dispatched with a cheapo mobile phone too.

It's reasonably quiet where I live though and that's on a council estate.

Big-Dan.

S1

How times have changed! I grew up in Islington, at 6 I told my mum I wanted to walk to & from school on my own, so used walk from Wilmington Square, across the Farringdon Road, past Mount Pleasant and up to St George's in John's Mews. Most parent's would dream of giving kids such freedom these days.

Mark_

the kids he plays with range from 5 upto 9years old,

been having a big think today about this and im still adament he is too young so we shall carry on the way we are for now.

im just not happy about the thought of him being down there alone.
if we were on the ground floor id be ok with it i think as i could easily get to him if needed.

but we are up on the 4th so it would take me time to get down there.

thanks for all the input from everyone.

Nick.W

iTrader: (1)

My daughter is of similer age and we live in an affluent area and there is no way on this earth that I would let her out to play on her own or for that matter even out of my sight