big decission what to do
19-03-2010, 05:04 PM
#1
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big decission what to do
hi there peeps of pf im after opinions on what i should do everyones opinions are welcome good or bad
right here i go
at the moment i suffer from icontenace i have had this since birth and have had a number of major ops to correct this i was born without a anus which caused me to have no mucle control at the age of 2 i had a colostomy shortly after a year they removed it after that i used supositrys whilst at school but always had problems through out sorry bout spelling i am dislexic an i do try any way at the age of ten i was given a somthing called an ace which where my bowl is pulled through to my stomach where i put a catheter in every day to flush my guts through i stuggled with this an am still struggleing over the last 2 years iv had even more problems where i soil myself most day iv been bk to hospital an the only option that i have left is a colstomy again which i have beein running from for the last 16 years i am now 26 an do not now what to do this has been my worst fear all of my life an now the reality has come true there are so many things an reasons i dont want this one mainly my self asteam an finding someone with a bag atached to my stomach . what would you do if this was you carry on the way i am an hold of for even longer or jus give in an have the op an maybe make my life better i now this may seem to some people not a big deal but this is a big decission for me an would like to now what others would think thanks for takeing time to read this
right here i go
at the moment i suffer from icontenace i have had this since birth and have had a number of major ops to correct this i was born without a anus which caused me to have no mucle control at the age of 2 i had a colostomy shortly after a year they removed it after that i used supositrys whilst at school but always had problems through out sorry bout spelling i am dislexic an i do try any way at the age of ten i was given a somthing called an ace which where my bowl is pulled through to my stomach where i put a catheter in every day to flush my guts through i stuggled with this an am still struggleing over the last 2 years iv had even more problems where i soil myself most day iv been bk to hospital an the only option that i have left is a colstomy again which i have beein running from for the last 16 years i am now 26 an do not now what to do this has been my worst fear all of my life an now the reality has come true there are so many things an reasons i dont want this one mainly my self asteam an finding someone with a bag atached to my stomach . what would you do if this was you carry on the way i am an hold of for even longer or jus give in an have the op an maybe make my life better i now this may seem to some people not a big deal but this is a big decission for me an would like to now what others would think thanks for takeing time to read this
Last edited by rs tingle; 19-03-2010 at 05:21 PM.
19-03-2010, 05:16 PM
#2
i couldnt really understand ur post mate, but two things stood out :
"this has been my worst fear all of my life"
"what would you do...."
"option1, or jus give in an have the op an maybe make my life better"
Got to be have the op (whatever this is), as you are clearly unhappy and if it gives you a chance at a better life - do it!
"this has been my worst fear all of my life"
"what would you do...."
"option1, or jus give in an have the op an maybe make my life better"
Got to be have the op (whatever this is), as you are clearly unhappy and if it gives you a chance at a better life - do it!
19-03-2010, 05:20 PM
#3
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sorry im not to good at writting i do try though
option 1 stay as i am a struglle an wear incontanace pads an keep shitting myself lol
option 2 have a bag atached to my stomoch 24/7 which i would shit in lol sorry to be so blut it was the only way i colud put it across easily
option 1 stay as i am a struglle an wear incontanace pads an keep shitting myself lol
option 2 have a bag atached to my stomoch 24/7 which i would shit in lol sorry to be so blut it was the only way i colud put it across easily
19-03-2010, 05:22 PM
#4
its a tough one mate and i totally see where your coming from as id want to run from it too but by the sounds of it you have exhausted every other option thats currently available to you so do you really have a choice? can you go back to how you are now if you hated it that much or once its done is it a parmanent thing as i dont really know whats involved with the op etc
19-03-2010, 05:24 PM
#5
...............
You been in touch with any support groups? My ma had cancer a few years back and ended up with a Urostomy. She goes to meetings and sometimes visits people who are going to have the same op to offer some support to them. Talking to people already in the position you may end up might help you make a decision. If you want me to find out about a support group in your area I could ask her if you like. LMK.
19-03-2010, 05:30 PM
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Some people really do get dealt a shit hand in life, I feel for you.
Surely in this case the best thing would be to get a colostomy bag. It isn't something people are going to see anyway, is it?
Surely in this case the best thing would be to get a colostomy bag. It isn't something people are going to see anyway, is it?
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19-03-2010, 05:31 PM
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its a tough one mate and i totally see where your coming from as id want to run from it too but by the sounds of it you have exhausted every other option thats currently available to you so do you really have a choice? can you go back to how you are now if you hated it that much or once its done is it a parmanent thing as i dont really know whats involved with the op etc
an i now what ya mean mate it seams the only option iv got anymore im jus really hard comeing to turms with the fact really
19-03-2010, 05:32 PM
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You been in touch with any support groups? My ma had cancer a few years back and ended up with a Urostomy. She goes to meetings and sometimes visits people who are going to have the same op to offer some support to them. Talking to people already in the position you may end up might help you make a decision. If you want me to find out about a support group in your area I could ask her if you like. LMK.
19-03-2010, 05:34 PM
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na people shouldnt really see it i dont think i dont now really if you would be able to tell if its behined clothes
Last edited by rs tingle; 19-03-2010 at 05:35 PM.
19-03-2010, 05:41 PM
#11
Feel for you. How traumatic for you.
I would go ahead and have the bag fitted now. To me that seems better than soiling yourself day in, day out.
You also mention fidning someone and your obvious concern about how they will see you, and judge you because you have a bag. Again to me, meeting someone and telling them you have a bag attached to you, will be far better than having to explain why you smell of shit. Sorry to be blunt but no easy way of saying that.
Whatever you choose to do - i hope your life improves mate. good luck
I would go ahead and have the bag fitted now. To me that seems better than soiling yourself day in, day out.
You also mention fidning someone and your obvious concern about how they will see you, and judge you because you have a bag. Again to me, meeting someone and telling them you have a bag attached to you, will be far better than having to explain why you smell of shit. Sorry to be blunt but no easy way of saying that.
Whatever you choose to do - i hope your life improves mate. good luck
19-03-2010, 05:44 PM
#12
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Holy shit fella! (no pun intended)
It all comes down to quality of life, and if that is ultimately gonna be a colostomy bag then so be it. You can't carry on as you are with no control over ya bowels and the associated embarrassment of shitting ya sen!
Good luck with whatever you decide.
It all comes down to quality of life, and if that is ultimately gonna be a colostomy bag then so be it. You can't carry on as you are with no control over ya bowels and the associated embarrassment of shitting ya sen!
Good luck with whatever you decide.
19-03-2010, 05:46 PM
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Feel for you. How traumatic for you.
I would go ahead and have the bag fitted now. To me that seems better than soiling yourself day in, day out.
You also mention fidning someone and your obvious concern about how they will see you, and judge you because you have a bag. Again to me, meeting someone and telling them you have a bag attached to you, will be far better than having to explain why you smell of shit. Sorry to be blunt but no easy way of saying that.
Whatever you choose to do - i hope your life improves mate. good luck
I would go ahead and have the bag fitted now. To me that seems better than soiling yourself day in, day out.
You also mention fidning someone and your obvious concern about how they will see you, and judge you because you have a bag. Again to me, meeting someone and telling them you have a bag attached to you, will be far better than having to explain why you smell of shit. Sorry to be blunt but no easy way of saying that.
Whatever you choose to do - i hope your life improves mate. good luck
19-03-2010, 05:46 PM
#14
Feel for you. How traumatic for you.
I would go ahead and have the bag fitted now. To me that seems better than soiling yourself day in, day out.
You also mention fidning someone and your obvious concern about how they will see you, and judge you because you have a bag. Again to me, meeting someone and telling them you have a bag attached to you, will be far better than having to explain why you smell of shit. Sorry to be blunt but no easy way of saying that.
Whatever you choose to do - i hope your life improves mate. good luck
I would go ahead and have the bag fitted now. To me that seems better than soiling yourself day in, day out.
You also mention fidning someone and your obvious concern about how they will see you, and judge you because you have a bag. Again to me, meeting someone and telling them you have a bag attached to you, will be far better than having to explain why you smell of shit. Sorry to be blunt but no easy way of saying that.
Whatever you choose to do - i hope your life improves mate. good luck
I dont think a girl would be bothered about the bag mate , and to be honest if she is then she isnt the kind of girl any man would want anyway
Good luck with whatever you decide
Paul
19-03-2010, 05:51 PM
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a friend of a friend has had to do this.
it was also a last resort.
not so good having to deal with it while you are relitively young either.
i know its shit(pardon pun) but any potential partner worth any time would look past the bag.
it was also a last resort.
not so good having to deal with it while you are relitively young either.
i know its shit(pardon pun) but any potential partner worth any time would look past the bag.
19-03-2010, 05:54 PM
#18
Mate of mine has same problem and had the bag fitted.
I have never known him to have a problem with it, if doing sports etc you can get smaller more discreet bags etc so don't think you are stuck with a larger bag all the time.
Think as S1 said it would be worth finding some support groups or something.
I have never known him to have a problem with it, if doing sports etc you can get smaller more discreet bags etc so don't think you are stuck with a larger bag all the time.
Think as S1 said it would be worth finding some support groups or something.
Last edited by Gav Diamond; 19-03-2010 at 05:56 PM.
19-03-2010, 06:08 PM
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Mate of mine has same problem and had the bag fitted.
I have never known him to have a problem with it, if doing sports etc you can get smaller more discreet bags etc so don't think you are stuck with a larger bag all the time.
Think as S1 said it would be worth finding some support groups or something.
I have never known him to have a problem with it, if doing sports etc you can get smaller more discreet bags etc so don't think you are stuck with a larger bag all the time.
Think as S1 said it would be worth finding some support groups or something.
19-03-2010, 06:14 PM
#22
sideways all the way!
19-03-2010, 06:18 PM
#23
If your open and honest about it - which it sounds like you are, especially as you've told everyone on here! - then I'd just go with the bag. It's not ideal, but it does seem the best way for you to regain your self respect (surely changing a bag is better than changing shitty kecks!). If all your mates know, and you don't mind a bit of ribbing about it then it will just become part of you.
As for women, sure there are going to be some who are put off by it, but there are going to be others who don't care!
The suggestion about talking to others in the same situation is a very wise one. Maybe ask your GP if they know of anyone, or any groups you can join?
But above all big respect for coming on here and asking peoples opinions, it can't have been easy!!
As for women, sure there are going to be some who are put off by it, but there are going to be others who don't care!
The suggestion about talking to others in the same situation is a very wise one. Maybe ask your GP if they know of anyone, or any groups you can join?
But above all big respect for coming on here and asking peoples opinions, it can't have been easy!!
19-03-2010, 06:24 PM
#24
you really havent had the best of luck have you mate
i would personally have the bag done and get on with your life; you've clearly had the hanging over you for far too long.
as said, any women worth having would look past the bag - at the end of the day its only a fucking bag!
life is too short as it is, get it done, move on and start enjoying yourself
i would personally have the bag done and get on with your life; you've clearly had the hanging over you for far too long.
as said, any women worth having would look past the bag - at the end of the day its only a fucking bag!
life is too short as it is, get it done, move on and start enjoying yourself
19-03-2010, 06:27 PM
#25
firstly, fair play to come out with something like that openly cos i doubt i'd be able too!! its deff something thats very personal and some good motivational advice from peeps is good to see!!
End of the the day u gotta look at the fact if u get the op, ok it might seem hard now and maybe it might make u alot more self concious etc to start with, and harder to find someone (althou as said any decent girl would look past this)
A bag has surely gotta be less embarrasing than wearing incont pads and having no control over ur bowls?! would deff be more embarringing trying to explain that imo!!
Get it done now mate and so u can have a good quality of life again!! you'll meet the right person in time and as said support groups are good!! and also a good way of meeting hot girls
lol
End of the the day u gotta look at the fact if u get the op, ok it might seem hard now and maybe it might make u alot more self concious etc to start with, and harder to find someone (althou as said any decent girl would look past this)
A bag has surely gotta be less embarrasing than wearing incont pads and having no control over ur bowls?! would deff be more embarringing trying to explain that imo!!
Get it done now mate and so u can have a good quality of life again!! you'll meet the right person in time and as said support groups are good!! and also a good way of meeting hot girls
lol
19-03-2010, 06:39 PM
#27
having had a bag while in hospital for a while, i know what it feels like, but you do get used to it after a while and it becomes natural, sort of
rather than that have the other thing you you have no muscle control it'll be leaking out and seeping through in no time at all
at least with the bag you can have it on your lap or secreted away in a bag like a school kids satchel, much better in every way
hope you make the decision that's best for you
rather than that have the other thing you you have no muscle control it'll be leaking out and seeping through in no time at all
at least with the bag you can have it on your lap or secreted away in a bag like a school kids satchel, much better in every way
hope you make the decision that's best for you
19-03-2010, 06:40 PM
#28
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cheers peeps you all really have help im gonna get in contact with my gp to see if i can get in touch with some groups i jus gota see it like this new year new life
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