Ellie

Ive been thinking about this for quite a while now.
Is there anyone else who would say that they had nobody 'close' to them??
Be it a partner/friend/brother/sister/mum/dad etc etc. Someone to chat to when something good/bad/worrying/confusing happens???

Tev

iTrader: (2)

christ this is a bit deep 4 a friday night you ok?

RANJ

yup been there

RS Grant

iTrader: (1)

Yea, I actually feel like that at the moment. Like its just me and my dog against the world.

Sorry to put a downer on things for people, but it seems an appropriate thread to do so.


Cheers,
Grant

KregRS

Not now, but been there in the past. Had a relationship break up last year, didnt have anyone I could really turn to, to talk to, was hard to deal with on my own.

carlo

iTrader: (4)

Been there too

RANJ

one thing ive learnt is never let another person get to you that much

carlo

iTrader: (4)

Easier said than done sometimes ranj

Alan_D

Yes, me. Exactly as you've described.

Less.

Yes been there a few times myself or when there was would try and deal with it on my own or drink

Ellie

Tev- yeah im ok thanks. Too much thinking today!!

Im not the only one then.

I know I dont let people get close to me and dont make much effort to have regular contact with...anyone.
I actually live with my Mum but she knows very little about me and our outlooks are so different that its pointless to want her advice on things.

I guess, im just think about a lot of stuff and get sick of having only me to rely on. I dont particularly trust myself either!

Why are other people 'on their own'??

Big G

Yes, now.
I feel sorry for the person who wants to give me a comfort chat, soooo much I wanna release, sooo much I wanna ask about myself
Probably why I am a cunt of late, the defences are well and truly up.

Punkie

I have been there...But thankfully am not there anymore. You okay Ellie?

KregRS

Not so easy when that person is the one you've turned to for a while, then they go, and you're back to square one. It 'earned' me time off work, nearly lost my job after I told my manager what I thought of him and his company, bearing in mind that was one of the reasons she gave for splitting up. Although after saying all that, as sad as it may sound, I tell my dog alot, the things he could tell if he could talk.

J1mbo

iTrader: (1)

yeah me aswell, i have family, friends ect but no one i feel im really close with, i used to but now not being at school lost alot of really close friends and i dont know why, maybe wernt that close friends hey..

mk3stevie

Feel like that alot of the time, growing used to it. Is hard sometimes when you just need someone to talk to, not necessarily to give you advice or input but just to listen. Everyone needs that sometimes.

KregRS

Personal reasons, and in a way I put myself in that position. I grew up with my godparents, they didnt like my own family, done their best to alienate me from them and it worked. Things happened when I was younger, and when I spoke out about them, my 'new' family turned their backs on me, and my own family didnt want to know. I'm slowly trying to build bridges with my family, but doubt I'll ever be close enough to any of them to open up, wont even open up to my current gf.

GUZZLER

iTrader: (3)

i've been through some funny times, don't worry about everyone else, you have 1 life, don't the past drag you down, look fowards & rise above the shit

Ellie

Yeah, I'm ok thanks Punkie. Probably just feeling a bit sorry for myself!

Yeah, you get used to it, then it starts to get on ya tits after a while. You're right though.

Sorry for the shit you've been through. Makes it hard to trust people when nobody has ever earnt it.

kosman

yeah man i dont really talk to anyone about anything,prefer it that way really.

zetec-Sam

iTrader: (2)

Spent almost all of my secondary school life like that now 19 and starting to change things
although i can still only actually 'open up' to one girl

GTi-R23

I'm the same, bit of a lone wolf at the moment.

Group hug, Ellie in the middle x

'Tis Friday night tho peeps, you're not allowed to feel down on a Friday.

Gazzonator

iTrader: (9)

I'm in a similar boat I guess. I have no family at all, I live on my own, work on my own and all of my friends have their own stuff to deal with so I don't like to bother them with my problems/thoughts.

95% of the time I've got so much stuff going round in my head and with nobody to talk to about it all, it just gets on top of me and I just get really frustrated and fed up with it. I think it may explain my short temper too.

I really wish I could do something to sort myself out but can't honestly see how.

Ellie

Thanks!!

A good friend wont mind and you wont be bothering them. Need to find a way to release it though because it doesnt do you any good. Gym?? Sports??

Psycho Warren

iTrader: (5)

I dont think i have anyone "close" to talk to. Theres quite a few people who would say they are close enough to me to talk to me, but not the other way round.

Its easier to listen to and help other people with thier problems than sort your own shit out.

On paper i have in theory got people to talk to, "lots of support" etc. In reality its not like that though and i wish i could explain it to fucking shrinks, psychologists etc.

They just see that "on paper" i have support and lots going for me It would nice to make them understand that all of that is fucking bullshit!!!

I only have a future planned out because its what society expects of "normal" people!!! I imagine it wouldnt go down well to tell someone "i dont have any future plans as I struggle to see the point when id be better off dead". Such views are not "socially acceptable".

But whats the fucking point in blindly setting yourself up for a future you dont believe you will be around for??? Its all very well saying im capable of this and that and clever enough to do that and that, and yeah i may well be but i wouldnt be doing it for me.

Same with friends/relationships etc, on paper i have support at uni, support from mates, a psychologist etc but again its all bullshit. In my opinion i have no real friends (facebook doesnt count as real ).

Sure i have a couple of people who consider me friends, and yes I do value thier friendship and its a "two way" friendship where i help them and vice versa (if i let them), but in emotional terms its all very one sided.

In emotional terms I dont really trust anyone (even myself) and havent really trusted since a child really. You get burnt too many times. But then if you trust no one, youve got to do it all alone so catch fucking 22

IM not good at sorting friendships, making friends, relationships, partners and all that crap. Yes on paper I have some good social skills (thanks Navy ) but in terms of turning that into dynamic and effective communication to maintain friendships/relationships etc then frankly im clueless and struggle really badly! Theres no "rules of engagement", crib sheets or rule book to start and maintain proper relationships. Sure i can read body language where ive been taught what to look for and i know what is supposed to be socially acceptable norms of response, how you should treat people etc, but then friendships/mates/partners etc is not supposed to be about acting how society expects is it????

Its no real surprise then that ive no friends from school days, and not even one person in the forces i still keep contact with. Bit sad really lol.

I try to make the effort but even then i get that wrong!! There should be a rule book on how to be a good friend/partner/husband etc Even simple stuff like when is it ok to sit down when you drop by, should you wait for them blah blah, how often should you visit, how often should you call etc Fuck knows! Its even worse with woman how am i supposed to know when to say "i love you" etc?? Its really not rocket science, once ive told someone i love them, then why do i need to keep saying it when they already know??? how am i supposed to know when you want me to hold your hand instreet or hug you etc?? So i have to set rules in my head and they dont always work and you look a right gimp when you inevitably fuck it up! oh well.

Not sure i even believe in love as a feeling. A chosen behaviour maybe. BUt then can a behaviour be called love?? I dont think so. I either like people, or dont like them, i dont see were emotions has anything to do with that.

If i like someone its generally because they are a good person, and i'll take a bullet for them if needs be and go to the end of the earth if thats what it takes, doesnt matter if ive known you a day or a lifetime. Thats just what im like, kind of all or nothing.

Where as if i dont like someone then I wouldnt piss on you even if you were onfire and wouldnt feel any guilt about putting 2 in the back of your head A bit Harsh I guess.

A lot of people dont seem to get that im all or nothing like that. They dont get how i will give so much for someone i barely know. Just how i am i guess, maybe partly because of the forces mentality where you can be expected to risk everything for a mate you barely know, maybe partly because i dont value my life.

any way ive been rambling a bit too much as per fucking usual and kind of lost the point i was trying to make.....

but basically i dont have anyone i can relate to who understands me. and hence ive no one to talk to.

And more worryingly i try but cant change it/dont know how to change it, yet the people who could in thoery help me think every things rosey and i have no way of explaining the real problems to them to make them "get it"

Sometimes i wish i was thick. life would be much simpler then.

The only time i feel free of the shit is either flying or driving fast on the open road (on my own naturally!!). I often think that would be the best way to go if your number was up. I remember a modern film of the book "on the beach" (its about the end of the world post nuclear war ) and one of the characters chooses to go out with a bang racing round a deserted race track and just putting his foot to the floor and crashing through a wall in a fireball I think that would be a good way to die! Tell that to a shrink and he will likely think your going to drive into the nearest tree and take your license from you so yet another reason not to trust

Yeah its a bit gutting when you realise aint it.

I often think its me against the world.

Doesnt seem to be much good in the world any more.

rickbartlett

never trust anyone,you can only rely on yourself

pee vee

timrud

I'm amazed at how many people have basically been at crisis point!!

Thats an awful place to be and I wouldn't really wish it on anybody...

Anybody needs a chat come see uncle Tim

Rides

iTrader: (1)

yep feel this way everyday... 2004 I ended up in hospital on high dependancy unit! life support.. after loosing my home, job..and partner of 15yrs and kids...and ended up in prison on remand! major long messy part of my life. took over dose just wanted to die... poxy hospital saved me mind you they told me i died 3 times.. but as for someone close to me to talk too NO.. yeah i have family and kids but none of them really understand the shit i had to suffer.. lifes a struggle each day for me.. can't work anymore which gets me so pissed off.. boredom one of them... takin medication daily.. also sucks.. and will never trust anyone 100%..

Mk1-stu

I find life less complicated being a solo act. There's only 2 people i feel comfortable talking to, one lives over basingstoke way and the other lives up in brummy land.

I've often found that relying on other people to 'lighten the burden' of stuff to be more hassle than it's worth, hence it's just easier not to bother.

The other thing i like about being self dependant, is the only person who get's pissed off with you if you fuck something up is yourself - you don't have to listen to other people constantly fuckin moaning and sniggering about it.

**caz**

yep no this feeling very very well...no matter how hard ya try just to "get on with it" it doesn't go away ... life is shit! full stop!

Im not going into they whys and where fors on here, but what i will say is i understand exactly what is being felt here

x

kitted_escort

mine is the other way around, when shit happens ive all ways got alest 6 people to talk to, mum, dad, sis, bro, g/f, mates

Roscco

It's amazing to read through the variety of experiences different people have had over the course of thier lives.
Between us all we could potentialy help deal with almost any situation (well, within reason).

Myself personally, i had several people i was really close to both friend and family. However my own self destruct system triggered a good while ago and since admitting to my addiction nobody wants to know.
I've built so many bridges, knocked them down, then tried to rebuild them again i'm getting pretty good at it. It's the memory's and shame that causes me most grief.

In a way, i'm my own undoing.

Oranoco

Know this feeling very well. It's taken me 6 months to get to where I am and I still feel like I'm damaged goods as a result of things that were none of my doing. I've done the upset, I've done the denial and I've done the angry, now I plainly no longer give a fuck.

Well on the way to recovery and hoping to meet somebody new.

Being that low is just about the worst feeling I have ever had and for weeks I longed to not wake up from my sleep just so I didn't have to endure another days worth of hurt. It sucks, is lower than I knew it was possible to feel and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

It's these times where friends really come into their own

Big G

Glad its not only me thats as mad as chips then
I used to always have a waffle on to my dog, normally after having had a few jars, she'd just sit there and take it all in before dropping her back and shifting round thew back of the settee.
Amazing how a 1 way conversation put the world to rughts so many times though.

timrud

Roscco I think your in a situation where actions speak louder than words now!

Ginge !

i was there once a long time ago,,,,, the strangest person actually took me under there wing and looked after me,trange cause me and him hated each other when we first met ,,, hes now one of my 2 best mates and hes always there for me when i need him,,,, im fortunate now though as i have alot of good mates behind me now though i wont bore them with my problems

Gazzonator

iTrader: (9)

I wish I could do some kind of sport or go to the gym but I badly injured my left knee in a motorbike accident a while ago so thats out of the question unless I want a few months off work to fix it but cant as i wont be earning!

I normally just go and have a play in my car but even that dont work at the mo! lol!

Never mind! Theres always people far worse off than me.

fuzzy

my right hand mans been there since primary 3 and has stood side by side when ive been on a hiding to nothing during the heavy times, the fact that my beautiful daughter in my avatar is alive today can be also put down a significant part to him .
thats a real mate.

JayCC

I'm a harbourer. I could talk to people.. I just choose not to. Don't mean it offensively at all, but I see it as my problems are my problems. I just grin and bear it. I think I'm an alright kinda guy considering^^