StephenC

Not one to post serious life questions on here but this one really interests me. Ive got three children 12(G),10(B),6(G). The girls are fine, 6 year old can fly off the handle but normally when shes tired but no drama. Boy however is a complete pain in the arse, got no respect whatsoever. We got told that he had been picking on this girl on the way home from school and he ended up pushing her on to the road, albeit a quiet road but still its not f**king on We told him hes grounded for two weeks with no pocket money. Tonight was his first night and after been in his room for an hour I went in to see what he was up to and hes sneaked out of the window and gone out (bungalow by the way ). Shes at work and the 6 year old was asleep in bed so I couldnt go hunt him down. Hes come in happy as larry with the excuse "I was bored". My blood boiled, in my day I wouldnt have dreamed of pulling a stunt like that. Dont know what to do with him. When I was a nipper it was big leather weight lifting belt around the arse and no supper, that always made you think about it!!! But these days I just feel like my hands are tied, any recomendations anyone? I think were past naughty step stage, so far Ive told him that anything else happens and the tv is going out of his room, then his light bulbs and slowly but surely every privilege he has come to expect (swimming, bikes etc). Just cant seem to get it through
rant over, and relax

Mark Shead

A wooden spoon it hurt but didnt do me any harm.

Mark

JoeE30

My childhood was shit and very violent, but i lernt alot from it strange as it seems. Sometimes i think a clip round the ear is the only way.

J1mbo

iTrader: (1)

i remember getting a slipper over my arse, only 18 now so it wasnt all that long back, give the little bugger one of them,

is there anything he absolutely loves ? take it away, gotta work lol

dave cos4x4

iTrader: (5)

Stephen,

only getting away with it because you are letting him,need to get tough.

i got smacked with a slipper years ago and that did me no harm.

LHD220Turbo

iTrader: (4)

my dad only had to raise his voice - that was enough

my mum on the other hand would give me a whack on the arse with a wooden spoon!

very rare tho; i was a good boy

Mark Shead

I used to get the slipper at school just had to show it didnt hurt.

Mark

Micky

Got hit with a leather slipper or belt.Worked on me,no harm in using the odd belt to keep kids in line.Regards,Micky

dave cos4x4

iTrader: (5)

all comes down to how you brought them up earlier in life...my lad respects me but runs a mock with his mum, i only have to tell him once and thats it.

JohnnyB

I got battered, did me no harm. I would only get battered if I had done somthing like that. I would know I had crossed the line and I was waiting for the battering. But i must admit I don't do it to my kids, I never raise my voice till they cross that line and it works as they know it.

PeterRST

iTrader: (1)

+1

GAZ W

Me too , although my day very rarely raised a hand to me i was shit scared when he raised his voice

burnzy

i had stilletos once on the thighs, also the bor of soap down the neck wasn't pleasant too, also kicked down the hall way, and punch in the chest by my nan and my dad (when my dad punched me i couldn't breathe), but have to admit i more than likely deserved all of it and it didn't hurt me permenantly.

i do think it is legal to smack your kids still it just can't be unjustified or over the top, i'd give him a thick ear or summit but it is a bit late as the moment is over if you wait till he pulls a stunt like that again i can asure you he won't do it again , pain is honestly the only answer that is why the older generations have alot more respect than the new ones

kosman

my old man never hit me,me mum used to leather me with a wooden brush across my legs or back,that twat hurt.

StephenC

thats just it, im not his dad, he walked out when he was 3. Whenever I try to cut him in to line she steps in to protect mummys little soldier The girls are great, they take the piss out of her a bit but like you say, one loud voice and they brick it.

LHD220Turbo

iTrader: (4)

thats the thing, my dad never once whacked me; his voice was enough!

LHD220Turbo

iTrader: (4)

fuzzy

my mum used to belt me with a slipper. i was a total cunt though with social workers taking me for days out to try to find out why i was such a cunt.

Less.

I remember once swearing at my mum when I was about 10,the mad cow chased me round the village with a riding crop never swore again

JohnnyB

Its all in the upbringing, if you shout at them all the time, the only way to to make them think is to batter them. so never hit that note untill her/he crosses the line.

Nick.W

iTrader: (1)

Agreed

GUZZLER

iTrader: (3)

my old man was a big fecker, not many people i knew would piss him off so generally i didn't, although i could be a little shit at times....

fuzzy

i dont care if its legal or not, my kids get a smack when they seriously step out of line.

StephenC

I never swore in front of my dad til I was about 17, just one of them things, mum was cool with it when I was in my teens, didnt walk round effing and geoffing all day long but a few were allowed. These days it makes you sick walking home from school and hall you can hear behind is "fuck" this and "cunt" the other from 10 year olds. Im only 28 myself but this next generation is fucked, big time!!!!

J1mbo

iTrader: (1)

i just cried i remember my brother saying, "that didnt hurt" after each slipper blow, so the next was harder, even when tears were pouring he still said "that didnt hurt"

afpmsl

Mrs T

think you just found the problem, you need to have words with her so your both doing the samething with the boy and go from there

666

i got batterd if i did wrong and it never did me no harm, nowdays people wont hit there kids adn look what its done to socsiaty, kids need a slap

aggree with **t** 100%

JohnnyB

steve,

you could try to get onto his level and try and talk man to man and not a kid as he needs to repect you.


tell her to let you get on with it!!!!

StephenC

tried that last week, had a good chat, let him use the petrol mower so he felt grown up and like were on the same level, he reet enjoyed it then boom, back to little shit in no time.

dave cos4x4

iTrader: (5)

why though Stephen....because the kids are not dissaplined properly...and whos fault is that.....parents.

PeterRST

iTrader: (1)

+1 to that aswell...

fatmike

iTrader: (4)

I don't think the decay of society is simply down to parents not beating their children anymore but that could play a little part.

The way I see it is that you have to treat the situation accordingly. You could say well just go whack him round the back of the ass with a belt or something along that line, but that could have an opposite effect as what you are trying to get out of it. The kid could react negativley to that and think 'Well if my dad hits me, its ok to hit him or other people'.

Every kid responds differently to different types of parenting, and as silly as it sounds, you could be doing everything right, and still have a child that is a little basterd and misbehaves. It really can be down to luck at the end of the day.

I was never hit as a kid, and actually was bought up in a very loving home, where to tell the truth was probably spoilt by mum. I don't mean had my ass wiped for me and had everything I needed bought for me, but still I think I had it very easy. I grew up to have a great deal of respect for society in general and a wel rounded view of the way we see things. I think I learnt alot from how I was treated.
However another person could of turned out a spoiled little brat from the way I was bought up.

See what I mean. I think chance has alot to do with it. But honeslty, like the guy above said, try and talk to him on a man to man basis. If that doesnt work, then you mighthave to try the discipline route.

Mark RS

iTrader: (13)

if i was a cheaky wee shit i would of got a good slap around the legs,made me think before i was a cheaky bastard next time.

Ciderwoman

my mum used to smack me with an empty coke bottle, fucking hurt. but it did'nt really stop me from being naughty, then she did the whole, cutting the plug off tv, no phone, everything else untill all in room was left was a bed and my clothes, in the end she gave me more responsability made me feel important.
they were little jobs that would effect me, like if i wanted chips 4 tea i had to peel the potatos if i did'nt then i would'nt have ne.
slow process but i think it did me good in the end.

good luck

benjaminsarmy

i got Ł2.50 for poket money each week lol

Coldo

Slipper here too. Done me no harm in the long run.

Rich_bloor

Firsly, theres no point in hiting people, its all bolox and cruel.

You need to start from the ground up with him, Take EVERYTHING off him, leave his bedroom with his matteress to sleep on, this is the ground level.
When he does anything that is naughty or pisses you off in any way, IGNOR him, give him no attention (shouting at him is attention!).
he might do 3 or 4 things that are naughty, (this is mainly to get your attention) then he will be pissed off with having nothing. If he does ANYTHING nice, even speak to you nicely, give him a reward (one of the things back in his room)(it sounds like he has oads of stuff) if hes naughty again, take stuff off him again.
He will soon learn that good behavior is rewarded and bad behavior is IGNORED (not punished!)

mercury grey minter

I,m using the naughty step at the moment on my 3 year old .Do you think i can use it when she,s a teenager?

Seriously though,it depends on their age.You can,t punch a 3 year old and i don,t think a slap on the back of the legs will work on a 12 year old.He,s going to rebel because your not his dad chucking the old line "Your not my dad ,you can,t tell me what to do"

Stick with the grounding and make sure the windows locked.

Mk1-stu

we used to get a proper slap off dad ! most of the naughty shit we did as kids, we only ever did once !! it used to hurt like fuck !

Mk1-stu

i dont do naughty step stuff with my lad, admitedly i only see him every couple of months, but when he's been naughty i just tell him what he did was wrong / naughty and then make him watch the shopping channels with my mum for an hour that'll teach the little git