... like this one, gota be top of my list so far, A mate phones me up and asks when i put the new oil in do i need to take out the old oil 1st ? wtf !?

 

i went on lunch at work an the guy coverin me said how longs ur lunch hour?! i was like think bout wat u jus said..

 

Is that a real cossie.Is it for sale

If i had a pound for every fucking time

 

I was once asked was I sure? When told so and so didn't live here. No, I'm having a wild stab in the dark and would you believe it, he's just walked past me.

Benni.

 

My dad shouting upstairs "Blair!"
"What"
"Are You In?"

 

i went to the maccies drive through and asked for 10 chicken nuggets, she said "we dont do 10 would you like 6 or 4?" i asked for 10 please and she started laughing like a dick head

 

used to work for carphone warehouse, some lady walked in and asked "do you sell phones here" i never answered her, just looked at her in amazment, my life suddenly wasn't so dead end...

 

my gran once phone'd my house phone and then asked where i was :d

 

my reason for freaking out yesterday at work was:

"you need to get to your drop number 12 before midday, will it help if i reschedule your drops 16 and 17?"

the temptation to shout down the phone "are you some sort of cunt?!?!!?!?" was almost too strong to hold back

so i put the phone down twat

 

Not something i've been asked but my mum once called me a son of a bitch!

 

Not so stupid this 1 more embarrassing. When I was about 13 my mother went back to uni to do a law degree, she came home 1 day and asked me (infront of my mates) what a 'japs's eye' was as she had heard it that day and diddnt know what it ment, i could have fucking died !

 

the ones i find most amusing are the people who phone up asking if we offer SEO as a service

They call up my companies main brand - the UK SEO Agency - its in the title

 

When I was 18 I used to work in Bhs, Customer walks in and asks "can I try on boxers to see if they fit". I thought to myself if he is for real. cry

 

is that a turbo?
na.
are u sure it looks like one,
no its a inlet

 

We were in Tesco once and a mate went up to the counter and said" can I have 36 first class stamps" to Which she replied "we only sell them in books of 12 now" Josh looked at me on amazement looked back and her and said "well you do the maths then flower" and she looked at him like he was a retard and said "didn't you hear me? We ONLY do them in books now" quite sarcastically. So he said back to her even more sarcey" well I better by 3 fucking books then. 3 books of 12 stamps yeah? 36 yeah" was so funny the look on her face. U could tell she was trying to add it up in her head.

 

Stranger"is that a real 500?"
Me "No it's just a 3dr cosworth"
Stranger"Well what's the differance?"
Me "Iff you don't know then I am not going to tell you but the biggest clue is that it says RS500 on the back & both sides"
I wouldn't mind but everyone who asks this has always got a mate who had a better one.

 

I work for phones 4 u and when someone walks in and i ask if i can help they say "Yes i am after a mobile phone"

Mcdonalds drive through when i say "Plain double cheesburger please" she replies "do you want cheese?" ermmm yes else it would be a beefburger

 

A couple of classics...

My mates mum asked if we could fax her a house key - she really though that the paper that came out of the fax machine was the actual bit of paper you fed in your end and so figured you could send they key via fax!!!

By brother worked for ntl and got a call. The caller had had a box fitted but the wire was longer than needed and she wanted it shortening so it wasn't so untidy, he says "i'll get an engineer to come out and trim it"

she says....

"can you not just pull it from your end" lol!!!

Back at my old work place, a lad goes out on a delivery to a block of flats, he needs flat number 72, he spent 20 minites going round and round the ground floor, then calls us and says "I need flat 72, the key pad only goes up to 9 !!! "try pressing the 7 then the 2 then press call you c*nt"

 

Is it in yet?

wasn't me, was stevenebm

 

stupid questions............ i used to go with a bird that said "do you want a blow job" .....like every time...ffs dont ask just fucking do it you thick biatch....used to drive me nuts.....in fact it was do you want a "blowy" cos she had heard jordan say that on tv

but if it was jordan....i,d put up with the "sillly" question

 

not my mate but my brothers mate
wrang my brother and told him he had got a shock of the coil on his motor bike and my brother went yeh and and his mates reply to this was (am i ok to get in the bath cos iv herd water and electric aint good )my brother said just dont touch the taps and you will be fine
the lad has done such stupid things its unreal he once got a spoon stuck in his mouth

 

these cant be true.... tell me your joking..... please

 

Cheeky Dog, I swear mate, the "it only goes up to 9" is still ribbed about 12 years on!!!

 

recently had an argument with a girl about the sky, she said i was mad for thinking the clouds move, i ask so why are they not staying in one place (made it really easy for her) she replies, its the world turning/spinning/moving im like where the fuck did you grow up? she wasnt much younger than me either, shes like 21 or something

 

My ex once asked me if I got an electricity bill for the lights on my car.

Also asked me why I had orange milk (cos the OJ is in the same carton)

My current gf asked me to hang up a picture. I asked if the Walls were plasterboard, she said no they're just walls

 

talking of stupid, how many of us have refilled the oil in the car after an oil change and though "this is taking some oil"

Only to realise you aint put the sump plug back in!!

I have, 20 quids worth of brand new oil all over the drive lol!!

 

fuck the world why aint i branded a genius, lol

im gonna have to tell peeps about the fax thing and the phone wire thing.... i dont think i'll be able to sleep now.

 

I was in sainsburys once with a trolley full of shopping when I bumped into a mate. He said to me 'what are you doing here'?




I couldn't contain myself

 

A lass i used to see years ago had a metro, she asked me if you just changed the gearknob to a 5 speed one would it have an extra gear.

 

have to say that the most retarded questions i have been asked was when i worked at carphone warehouse.... seriously dumb ass people going around.

once we had the shutters down about a foot of the ground cashing upat 6pm and some lady bends all the way down, sticks her face under the shutter and shouts "are you closed" i told my 2 collegues to not answer that, that really pissed me off.

 

im getting of this thread.... all this retardness is driving me mad.

 

Same lass once as we were driving down the motorway came out with 'that caravan is clean for a B reg'

 

got to admit its brilliant talking to all of these strange people makes you feel better about yourself lol

Had someone today "hello mate what phone comes with these sim only deals?"

errm....Sim ONLY!

 

AFPMSL. Best ever. FPMSL.

 

PMSL.

 

Fpmsl.

 

when someone calls you at home and asks where you are
my ex g'fs car wouldnt start 1 night,i told her she had flooded it,she replied its not my fault its raining.

 

Indeed, if all the people telling the stories were true then as the 500 is based on the number made, they would have to rename it to be the "Ford Sierra RS Eleventy Seven Million"

 

After seeing a Grizzly I was asked:

If a bear eats you! Do the Authorites really ID you by the Ring's the bear shats out?

 

"is my BMW front wheel drive"

Needs no explanation.