Little Johnny - Friday Humour
03-12-2004, 09:09 AM
#1
Professional Waffler
Thread Starter
Little Johnny - Friday Humour
Little Johnny's neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born
without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital
Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby.
Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him
and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if
he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even
said the word ears he would get the spanking of his life when they
came back home.
Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely. When Johnny
looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby." The mother said,
Why, thank you, Little Johnny." Johnny said, "He has beautiful little
feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really
beautiful eyes."Can he see?" asked Little Johnny.
"Yes", the mother replied, "his eyesight is perfect but why do you
ask?" Johnny replied "coz he'd be f**ked if he needed glasses!"
without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital
Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby.
Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him
and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if
he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even
said the word ears he would get the spanking of his life when they
came back home.
Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely. When Johnny
looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby." The mother said,
Why, thank you, Little Johnny." Johnny said, "He has beautiful little
feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really
beautiful eyes."Can he see?" asked Little Johnny.
"Yes", the mother replied, "his eyesight is perfect but why do you
ask?" Johnny replied "coz he'd be f**ked if he needed glasses!"
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15-07-2008, 05:27 PM
#9
Couple more:
A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.
"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge £20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.
"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is £25..."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The other day I needed to pay a visit to the public toliet, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles.
One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.
A voice came from the cubicle next to me: 'Hello mate, how are you doing?'
Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied 'Not too bad thanks.'
After a short pause, I heard the voice again 'So, what are you up to?'
Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, 'Just having a quick shit... How about yourself?'
The next thing I heard him say was "sorry mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some cunt in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say.'
A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.
"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge £20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.
"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is £25..."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The other day I needed to pay a visit to the public toliet, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles.
One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.
A voice came from the cubicle next to me: 'Hello mate, how are you doing?'
Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied 'Not too bad thanks.'
After a short pause, I heard the voice again 'So, what are you up to?'
Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, 'Just having a quick shit... How about yourself?'
The next thing I heard him say was "sorry mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some cunt in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say.'
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